


Crowchildren

by crypsis



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-05
Updated: 2015-10-19
Packaged: 2018-03-21 07:45:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 58,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3683922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crypsis/pseuds/crypsis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kageyama is a crowchild, tasked with carrying the souls of the dead to their final resting place. The first time he meets Hinata is when the boy is on his deathbed. It seems like an ordinary encounter, though Hinata proves that he is anything but, sending them both on a journey of life, death, friendship, and love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. hatchling

He flies in, unseen and unheard on soft wings.

The hospital room is hectic, doctors and nurses flurrying over the bed and its occupant, letting the little raven boy in the corner go unnoticed. If anyone happens to lay their eyes on him (no one will, not yet), they would say that he has beautiful eyes - and he does: strikingly blue, dark like the evening sky when the sun hides away, twin pieces of dusk barely hidden under a fringe of straight black hair. But that's not his most noticeable feature, no, that has to be the patches of downy black feathers that stand out so sharply against his alabaster skin. They're everywhere, rippling down his forearms, on the sides of his throat, under his bangs, shimmering under the sterile white lighting of the room.

He watches impassively as the scene in front of him unfolds, clear eyes almost unblinking, waiting patiently for the inevitable to happen. There's a sudden, deep, hacking cough, tearing its way out of someone's lungs, as if the last of life itself was being pushed out and forced into the air. It keeps going, and going, and going, and the doctors are saying things and the ever-present beeping noise adds to the cacophony, which seems like it will never stop, until it finally does.

The eventual silence is the raven boy's cue, and he threads his way between the slowly exiting people in the room, invisible and intangible, making his way to the bed  as he had done so many times before, looking down at the person in the bad as he had so many times before-

His first thought is that he is looking into an extinguished sun.

There is a boy in the bed, perhaps the same age as he looks, though he seems much smaller, face pale and slightly gaunt, with big brown unseeing eyes that look all the more bigger for his small face, but his hair is so different than anything that the raven boy has ever seen before,  a vibrant splash of colour in this world of whites and greys. It's as if someone has taken a sunrise and spun its colours into silky threads that make up his unruly head of hair, and the raven boy knows that he has a task to finish, but he can't help reaching out a lightly feathered hand to touch it.

"Am I pretty?"

He retracts his hand like he's been slapped and whirls around.

The same boy stands before him, a beatific smile on his face, big eyes warm and animated in consciousness, just a bit more faded than the exact copy on the bed, the same way that the raven boy is faded.

The dark-haired boy feels a strange warmth crawling uncomfortably up his neck, and hopes desperately that his feathers hide most of it from sight.  He turns away from the other boy's smiling face, embarrassed at being caught.

"Shut up." His face shifts into a scowl.

The other boy jumps into his line of sight again, all the while smiling infuriatingly.

"It's okay, you know!" He reassures the raven boy. "A lot of people think I am." He tiptoed to bring them both to the same eye level. "My name's Hinata Shouyou. I'm eight. What's your name?"

The raven boy is suddenly conscious of why he is there in the first place. "Kageyama," he says. "Kageyama Tobio."

"Tobio!" Hinata fairly bounces. "Has anyone ever told you that your face is scary?"

"No," Kageyama lies, annoyed. "Has anyone ever told you that you're rude?"

The other boy grins, seems delighted that Kageyama is putting up a fight. It's quite disarming, really, the way he is so honest in his elation. Kageyama hates it.

"Are you here to take me away?" It's a serious question this time, almost a little sad. Kageyama feels relieved. Hinata knows, then. He knows that he's dead. Sometimes they don't, and he's burdened with the task of breaking the news to them.

So he nods, offers his hand, just like he does for every soul he has to carry. Hinata takes it without hesitation, and his hand is small and warm. They walk out of the hospital room together, and that's the farthest they make before the orange-haired boy discovers that he can walk and run and jump, and Kageyama is left standing in the hallway, wondering what he's ever done to deserve having to guide such a painfully annoying person as the other boy runs up and down the hall, screaming and laughing at the top of his lungs.

"Stop it!" He finally shouts. "Come down from there, stupid!" But Hinata is unexpectedly fast, and when Kageyama tries to catch him, he giggles and slips from his reach. And then he's gone, leaping unnaturally high, almost ricocheting off the walls and out of the corridor, and Kageyama has no idea where he's gone.

 _That's it_ , he thinks to himself. _I've finally done it. Lost a soul. Daichi's going to kill me._ He sits down on a chair, breathless, listening to the silence and trying to calm the flutter of panic in his chest. He'll go look for Hinata, that idiot, after he's regained his breath. Yes, that was a good plan.

" _TOBIO_!" Someone, an extremely annoying, orange-haired someone, explodes out of nowhere, yanks on his hand, and suddenly he's running to keep himself from falling behind. It's like being chained to a firework.

"You _idiot_!" He snarls, furious. "Stop!"

And they do, in front of a television in the waiting room. There's a volleyball match going on, and Hinata stands beside him, entranced, slightly out of breath - and, to Kageyama's relief, silent. It's strange, he thinks, that this soul hasn't already started longing for the other world. Perhaps his body isn't truly dead yet? It's not like such a situation is unheard of, but this is the first time he's had to deal with anything like this. _Humor_ _them_ , Suga had told him. _Let them do what they want until they decide where to go. It's the least they deserve, after all they've gone through._ So Kageyama gets Hinata to sit more comfortably in a chair, where he hugs his skinny knees to his chest, eyes wide and admiring as he watches the game. Kageyama sits beside him, and gives himself the liberty to enjoy the match as well. Sometimes, he thinks, if things weren't the way they were, he feels like he could have loved this sport.

Minutes pass, and he sneaks a glance sideways at Hinata, only for him to realize that _the other boy's chair is empty._ He curses the ginger, himself too, for not noticing, and gets up to look for him. He doesn't have to go far - a flash of gold catches his eye, and he sees Hinata standing in front of a group of fiery-haired people who must be his family. He's kissing them, murmuring sweet things and smiling, stroking their faces with hands they cannot feel. There are two other boys too, his friends, by the look of their lack of orange hair, faces grim and tearful, and Hinata hugs them both with a surprising maturity. _So he's decided to leave, then._

Kageyama waits until he's done, and quietly walks up beside him and takes his hand ever so gently. Hinata's giddy joy has been washed away by the harsh flood of reality, and he's crying now, but there's a smile on his face even as teardrops roll down his cheeks. He's like a spring day, as quick to rain as he is to shine, and beautiful in both.

They walk silently out of the hospital, the crisp fresh air clean and refreshing against his skin.

"Hold on to me," he says to Hinata, who obediently wraps his arms around Kageyama's waist as the raven boy waits for feathers to ripple across every inch of his skin, waits for his arms to become wings, and they fly out into the clear morning sky.

 

Kageyama loves to fly - it's freedom and speed and joy all in one, a way to see everything from above. His raven wings are powerful and large, and he is much stronger as a bird than a ghost. He can feel Hinata through his feathers, a small, warm bundle, barely as large as a marble. He's surprisingly heavy though, and Kageyama wonders again if he's perhaps still alive. Medicine these days - one never knew.

"Tobio," he hears Hinata whisper.

"What is it?"

A pause. "I don't want to go."

Kageyama lights down on a grassy hill in the middle of nowhere. The sun is bright and warm, and there's a soft breeze through his feathers that molt off in an instant. He's a boy again, standing in the whispering grass next to Hinata.

He looks at the other boy, and feels a bit remorseful for some reason, because Hinata just looks so _lost_ , even smaller than before. He can feel all of his dejectedness and yearning, all his guilt and indecisiveness, radiating off of him. So this is what it felt like to be caught between life and death - wanting to leave but wanting to stay, being pulled slowly, agonizingly, in two directions. It's said to be a terrible pain. Kageyama can only imagine what it might be like. Something in his heart softens, because it feels so wrong to see someone as joyful as Hinata reduced to such miserableness, so he does something that feels right: he pulls the shorter boy to him in a gentle hug. Hinata reciprocates the action; it seems to make no difference to him that he barely knows Kageyama as he wraps his skinny arms around him and presses his face against Kageyama's chest.

 _Comfort them_ , he remembers Suga saying. Kageyama usually does, but never in this way - he calms the souls with his quiet presence and gentle words. But Hinata is different - he needs something solid to hold on to, so Kageyama gives it to him. He realizes vaguely that it's the first time he's done such a thing.

They stand there, two children, one holding onto the other for dear life. After a few moments, Kageyama speaks.

"Where do you want to go, Hinata?" His voice is soft. "Shouyou? Tell me, and I'll take you."

"Where are we?" Hinata's voice is muffled.

"Halfway," Kageyama answers. He asks again. "Where do you want to go?"

"I don't know yet," the other boy answer quietly, then with increasing desperation, "I don't know, I don't know, _I don't know_ -"

"Shh," Kageyama is almost surprised at how gentle he sounds. "It's okay. You don't have to decide yet. We can stay here for a while."

"You aren't in a hurry?" Hinata looks up at him, and Kageyama doesn't know, but he smiles.

"No," he tells him.

"Then I'd think I'd like that," Hinata says, looking a little less pained. "I just need more time."

"Okay," Kageyama says. "Want to take a walk?"

So they do, wandering aimlessly side by side through the endless sea of green. It's a slow walk, to accommodate Hinata's fatigue, and Kageyama makes sure Hinata stays by his side at all times - it's a vast, immense prairie, and it's so very easy to get lost in the long grasses. At one point, Hinata begins to talk and Kageyama listens, because that's all he can do at the moment, listen. He tells him about how he was born sickly, with death in his lungs and a short time on earth.

"I knew it was going to happen all along," he shrugs. "I don’t mind. But my family gave so much just to try to make my time longer, and I think it would be awfully cruel of me to let all that go to waste without trying."

He's spent half his life bedridden or in a wheelchair, and subsequently, there's nothing he loves half so much as the feeling of his feet on the ground, except for maybe his family and friends. He has a baby sister, Natsu, and when he says her name his face brightens again, so Kageyama asks him about her. She's two, with darker, redder hair but the same brown eyes and she likes to draw and play with cats, but most importantly, she's healthy.

Hinata pours out his whole life to him, and having a conversation seems to make the redhead feel better, so when he has nothing more to say, they lie down, drained, at the edge of a clear pool, and Kageyama tells the other boy about his life. The sun is beginning to set as they lie on their stomachs, looking into the water, and Kageyama tells him about dying days after he had been born, the first son of a king, so he's been told. He tells him about never really growing up, about living amongst other crowchildren, those like him who had left the living before they had gotten to walk the earth for long. He tells him about being half dead human and half living bird, tasked with carrying the souls of the dead, but given a chance to see all the things that he couldn't in his short life. Hinata listens, rapt, eyes wide and reflecting the setting sun that turns his hair gold. Kageyama talks about the other crowchildren in his flock: frightening but reliable Daichi, gentle, silver-feathered Suga, fiery Noya and kind Asahi, a terrible boy called Tsukishima and his friend Yamaguchi, calm Shimizu and the lively Tanaka siblings -

"They sound beautiful," Hinata says dreamily after he finishes. "Like characters in a story." He cocks his head, a sly grin on his face. "How can someone as hideous as you be part of them?"

Kageyama snarls, " _Excuse me_ ," and hits the other boy, who laughs bright and loud. It's a good sign, his laughter. The sun has gone down, the evening clean and clear, and Kageyama thinks that this, lying next to Hinata, trading half-hearted insults, feels more natural and ordinary than anything he's ever done in his strange half-life. But Hinata's bound to come to a decision soon, and he's shocked when he realizes that he's _worrying_ , worrying that Hinata might choose to leave to go to that world in the sky where Kageyama will never see him again.

After a while, Hinata gets to his feet, the usual grin on his face. He helps Kageyama up, and they wander to the top of the nearest hill. _He's done_   _deciding_ , the raven boy can tell with an unwelcome clench of in his stomach. It's not his place to hope, it really isn't, but it's the first time he's wanted something like this, to be able to watch Hinata as he grows up, watch him sit in the garden and play with Natsu, to watch him live his life as he should.

"I want to go back," Hinata announces clearly, eyes devoid of pain and unsureness. Kageyama won't let himself feel relieved. He nods, and feels the familiar warmth of arms wrapping around his waist as the feathers ripple over his entire body again and they take off into the dusk, back to where they came.

 

Hinata's much heavier now, with the added weight of definite life, but Kageyama's wings are strong and there's even a tailwind, as if the universe is telling him it's the right way to go. The pulsing, luminous warmth clinging onto his feather acts as a compass and guides him this time, over hill and under tree, to the familiar sight of the hospital. They tiptoe gently into the room, passing Hinata's friends and family who sleep fitfully in the hospital chairs. The two of them walk down the corridor, into the room and up to the bed, where Hinata's body lies. His chest flutters lightly up and down, and the Hinata beside him is fascinated at the sight, staring wordlessly at it before turning to Kageyama, who gives a small smile and gestures towards the bed.

"You can go back now."

He doesn't quite expect it when Hinata's lip quivers and his eyes begin to brim with tears. He panics a bit, looking around nervously. Had he done something wrong?

"Wh-why are you crying?" He asks anxiously, not knowing what to do. "You do want to be here, right?"

For the fourth time that day, he feels Hinata's arms around him. But this time it's different from simply clinging for him for fear of falling, it's totally different. This embrace seems to say, "I'm sorry we have to part, I don't want to leave you," and Kageyama is sorry too, even as he feels a faint blush on his cheeks. But he hugs back, all the same.

"Thank you," Hinata is mumbling into his chest again, in that high sweet voice. "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

Kageyama keeps hugging him back and wonders if all of his guidances are supposed to be so tearful. Something clenches inside him. "You're welcome." And then, suddenly, before he can stop himself: "You won't forget me when you wake up, will you?"

He flinches as he hears these words, feeling like he's crossed an invisible border. But Hinata just looks up at him and smiles. "No, definitely not."

Kageyama's definitely blushing now, _God, I'm so weird._

"You have to remember me too," Hinata tells him. "You probably meet hundreds of people a day, but that doesn't mean you can forget me."

"Stupid," Kageyama mutters. "Of course I'll remember."

Hinata laughs. "Will I see you again?"

"Yeah," Kageyama promises. "Look outside your window for ravens every once in a while. I'll be there."

"But when will I see you?" Hinata demands.

Kageyama sighs. There's the tragedy of it all. _Only when you're about to die_. "Hopefully in a very long time," he says. "Keep living, Shouyou."

"Okay," the other boy says, a bit downcast. Kageyama is, too, he'll admit. But then Hinata's smiling at him again, that effulgent grin, and he doesn't know whether to feel happy or sad.

"Hey, Tobio," Hinata says, grinning. "I lied, you know."

Kageyama cocks his head, confused. "About what?"

Hinata's eyes are as bright as he's ever seen them. "You're not hideous. To be honest, you're kinda beautiful too."

And then Hinata's on his tiptoes and kisses Kageyama softly on the cheek, before the dark-haired boy can even take in what he said. And then he does, and he blinks twice, before he can feel the blood actually rushing, rushing up to his face and he suddenly doesn't know what to say or how to speak, and when he looks again, the soul-Hinata is gone and the real Hinata begins to dream, letting out a small sigh in his sleep.

Kageyama walks out of the hospital, too stunned to fly, and sits on the bench outside. The night air is pleasantly cool on his burning skin and he brings his hand up to gingerly touch the spot where Hinata's lips had brushed, the other boy's "You have to remember me too" echoing in his head.

There's a strange feeling in his chest.

_You have to remember me too._

As if he could ever forget.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. fledgling

Kageyama doesn't tell anyone about Hinata, or the day he was kissed for the first time. He keeps his existence sealed away somewhere in the deepest recesses of his heart. It's something he's used to doing, keeping all precious things inside, keeping them secret.

"You have more secrets here than all of us combined," Sugawara had told him a few days after Hinata, with a question in his eyes. They sit on a bench at the beach, where Kageyama had been daydreaming, thinking about sunset hair and bright smiles.

Silver-haired, gentle Suga is one of the only people he really likes in his flock. He can sniff out a secret from a mile away, but he won't pry like Tsukishima will, which is why he ends up being Kageyama's keeper much of the time. He understands the dark-haired boy more than anyone else does, understands that he likes to be alone but not lonely, understands that he likes to keep things inside like treasures, that he lives by different rules. And Kageyama in turn understands that Suga is at least trying to understand him, and he's grateful for that. So he tells him everything that he won't tell the others in soft whispers: _I wish I had known my parents_ , or _I had a dream that I couldn't fly and I cried when I woke up_ , and _I think Tsukishima is in love with Yamaguchi and I hope Yamaguchi doesn't like him back because Tsukishima is an awful person even if he does have golden feathers._

Kageyama looks at Suga. He has such a kind face; there are no hard edges about him. Even his hair has fluffy flyaway strands, as if to soften everything over. "I don't have that many," he says. It's a lie.

"Are you alright?" Suga asks, concerned. "You seem…" He searches for the word. "Different."

Kageyama blinks. "What?"

"You're so far away, even more than usual," Suga tells him. "Where are you, Kageyama? Or rather, who are you with?" He breaks into an easy knowing smile, and the other boy feels his insides clench- was he really that transparent? 

"Nobody," Kageyama says after a pause, thinking of Hinata. He wills himself to stop, and looks Suga in the eye. "Nobody at all." _This is one secret I can't tell you, Suga._

"Alright," Suga says, and he's still smiling. Kageyama can tell he saw through the lie like it was glass. They sit there in silence for a while, feeling the sea breeze blow softly against their faces, until Suga tells him that they have to go back to work. There's a soul of an old lady who was born in this city, but she's moved all the way across the globe now, and Kageyama has to go get her. He feels her, a slight presence tugging at his heartstrings, a compass that guides him by saying _come here, come here_ , just as Hinata's soul had done. So he follows Suga as they leave the beach unseen, two ghostly children, one small and dark-haired, the other slender and tall.

Just as they are about to part, Suga turns to Kageyama, runs his fingers through glossy hair as black as his feathers. "You know, Kageyama, you always stop blinking when you lie."

Kageyama sighs, accepts defeat. He looks up at Suga, wonderful Suga, and leans into him. "Suga?"

"Yes?"

"If things were different, I think you would have made a wonderful mother."

This makes Suga laugh. He holds Kageyama softly to him. "Aren't I already?" Then his voice turns more somber. "I think you would have made a wonderful son, Kageyama."

Kageyama considers himself, a bundle of mistakes and secrets, and doesn't know whether to believe him or not.

 

 

Kageyama's flying again, soaring through the vivid blue with the sun warming his black feathers. It's a breathtaking feeling, one that he's never stopped enjoying since he was given his wings. But Suga's right, he's not _here_ right now, not at all. He's with Hinata, beside the pool in the prairie, on top of the rolling hills, in the hospital room, always, always with Hinata. He even finds himself wondering where the he lives. It makes him annoyed, the way that the orange-haired boy has somehow managed to worm his way into every crevice of his thoughts, even into some of his fantasies, after only meeting him once. It's not like Kageyama's never had a crush before - there was Iwaizumi from his old flock, but he's always been a person who developed feelings painfully slowly. He'd flown with Iwaizumi for months before there was even an inkling of vague romantic affection which was quickly cut short after he joined Daichi's flock instead.

So what is  _this_?

It's been around two weeks since he's met Hinata, and life had gone on as usual, carrying souls, flying and seeing the world, talking with Suga, occasionally relaxing with his entire flock in a park, but something has changed. He can't even brush off his feelings towards the other boy as a professional curiosity, because they're far too familiar, far too strong. Kageyama hasn't seen him since, but now even when he's alone Hinata's beside him in his head, smiling that horrible, beautiful smile. And he can't stop thinking about the kiss either, feather-soft lips brushing his cheek, and he wants to hate Hinata for throwing his ordered world into chaos with something so small and insignificant, with his _you're kinda beautiful too_ , said without a trace of dishonesty. It's the first time anyone outside his flock family has ever kissed him - Suga and Daichi have both given him affectionate pecks on the cheek in times of happiness or difficulty, Shimizu and Noya too, maybe. But Hinata's felt different from theirs, a subtle difference that made his heart pound instead of calm down, shook him awake instead of lulled him to sleep.

There's no other way to put it. Kageyama's smitten, and he almost falters in his flight with this realization. _I'm a mess. A hopeless mess_ , he thinks despairingly. _Why did you have to say that I was beautiful, Hinata? Why did you have to kiss me? Why did you kiss me? Why did you kiss me?_

And it's not _fair_ , that the first time in his many years on earth, when he likes someone this much they're so unattainable, an entire life standing in between them. And when that life fades away, Hinata will be gone forever, leaving Kageyama stranded on this earth like a flightless bird. It's pointless, hopeless, his reason tells him, but his heart is blind and deaf to everything except for what, no, _who_ it wants-

 _He probably doesn't even like me back_ ,  he thinks desperately, in a mad bid to dissuade his emotions. _This is stupid, I don't want this, I don't want him, I don't want him._

 _You do,_ his heart whispers, _you do, you do, you do-_

Kageyama beats his wings to drown out the truth.

It takes him a while to realize that he's going the wrong direction.

 

The old lady is already waiting for him when he arrives, surrounded by a large family. Hers is a peaceful passing, quiet and timely, with her many descendants paying their respects.

"Took you long enough," she says crisply, when she finally sees Kageyama swoop into the airy bedroom and shake off his feathers, becoming a spectral boy again.

"I'm sorry," Kageyama apologizes respectfully. She carries an air of elegance and fortitude, a grounded no-nonsense attitude that must have been intimidating during her lifetime.

The old lady takes a look at her gathered family members, and shakes her head disapprovingly. "They still slouch," she tells Kageyama, but her voice is fond. When she's ready, she holds onto him gently, and he carries her out into the sky.

"I want to go somewhere first," she tells him, and it's a command as much as a request. She hasn't seen her hometown in a while, so Kageyama brings her there, circling over buildings and trees, the occasional house. He sees Nishinoya and Asahi making their way towards the grassy plains, each cradling a luminescent soul in their claws. He acknowledges them with a nod, and the small crow calls out at him raucously while the larger one gives him a shy nod back as they pass. They're always together, and while Kageyama doesn't usually mind being the only one in the flock who works alone, he actually requested to do so, today he can't help but feel a but wistful at their companionship.

He takes the old lady to all her favourite haunts as a child, some of them changed beyond recognition, some of them untouched, to her delight. Daichi's flock is responsible for collecting all the souls who were born in this area - they were all born here as well. Kageyama wasn't, but he's been with them long enough to know it well enough, so he requires minimal issuing of directions. Finally, she's ready to leave.

She's light, so very light, and they fly over the hills quickly and silently, the only sound that of the constant breeze through the grasses. He drops her off at one of the paths to the world in the sky, and she leaves quickly, eagerly, after thanking him.

There are no more tugs at his heart from the newly dead or dying, so Kageyama takes his time to fly back slowly to his flock's town. They're probably gathered there for the end of the day, sprawled out on a hill in a local park, a group of ghost children lazing about. He doesn't really want to see them just yet, his head and his heart are both too full with his previous ruminating, and Suga probably wants some time alone with Daichi anyhow. So he does what he loves the most: he flies, swooping up and down, soaring from one perch to another, and it feels a bit like dancing, dancing with the wind as a partner. There's no space in his head to think about Hinata, his thoughts are uncluttered, focused on maneuvering through thickly grown trees that become sparser and sparser as he flies through them and bursts out into the open.

What he sees sends his heart racing and he almost falls ungracefully out of the air and onto a branch. He can't decide whether the universe is playing a joke on him or if it's some sort of miracle. He's ended up in a backyard, but not just any backyard, it's a backyard in which a familiar orange-haired someone is sitting in, picking flowers while his parents eat their dinner on the porch. A tiny girl sits on her mother's lap, making nonsensical verbalizations at her brother, who responds with just as much fervour in proper sentences.

Hinata is perhaps even more brilliant in life than he is in half-death, lively and loud and bright, but Kageyama sees the wheelchair beside him and the tired way he flops on the ground to stare at the sky, and realizes how truly weighed down he is. There's a twinge of pity in his chest, which quickly disappears under the wave of apprehension swamping all of his emotions. He knows that he promised Hinata that they would see each other, but it's a bit too soon, and everything about this situation screams _stalker_ , not to mention how intrusive he feels for walking in on the picturesque family scene.

But his heart is singing, even as he hides from view in the leaves, singing for finally being able to lay eyes on Hinata again. There's an urge to call out to him recklessly, but Kageyama forcibly resists it. _Don't ruin it._ He knows how bad his raven call sounds. So he just watches, drinking in the sight of the orange-haired boy alive. After a while, Hinata flips over onto his stomach and opens up a thick book, where he's putting the flowers in carefully, then closes it when he finishes. He's flower pressing, Kageyama realizes, and for some reason, it seems like such a _Hinata_ thing to do, to try and preserve beautiful things while they last.

He doesn't know how long he stays there, until Hinata picks up his book and sits in his wheelchair, which is promptly wheeled away into the house by his father, followed by Natsu in her mother's arms. As they go in, they're laughing, this beautiful family, maybe at a joke Hinata made. It makes Kageyama feel strangely at peace, despite everything that's happened that day.

The sun has set, so Kageyama heads reluctantly to where he knows the rest of his flock will be, moulting his feathers and walking as a ghost. There's a stillness in the air that comes with evening, like the whole world finally settling down to rest. All of them are there, curled up around Suga and Daichi like a litter of puppies, content and chattering lazily.

Tanaka sees him first, and calls out. "Look who's finally back!"

"Hello," Kageyama says.

"The prodigal son returns," Tsukishima teases, and the rest of the flock murmur greetings to him, ranging from a soft "Hello," from Shimizu and an explosive "KAGEYAMA!" from Nishinoya.

Kageyama looks for his usual spot near Sugawara, but it's been claimed by a smirking Tsukishima, eyes triumphant behind his glasses. His frown doesn’t go unnoticed by Daichi, who sighs and shifts away from Suga far enough for a Kageyama-sized area in between them. Kageyama feels his lips curl into a rare grin, and he hops gingerly over Saeko and Shimizu, as well as the blissfully unconscious form of Yamaguchi whose face is buried in Tsukishima's chest, to claim his spot. Daichi's warmer than Suga, so Kageyama clings to him like an oversized teddy bear, feeling the comforting presence of Suga at his back. Everything smells like family and normalcy and peace, and he looks up at the dark sky where the stars are beginning to shine, until the sky is covered in swathes of brightness, faraway suns sparkling through the velvet evening.

"You're spoiling Kageyama," he hears Suga say to Daichi. "You always say I'm spoiling him, but you're the worst."

"You spoiled him first," Daichi responds, and Kageyama can feel his laugh. "I'm just following your example."

Kageyama snuggles closer to Daichi, prompting the other boy to wrap an arm around him protectively. It's beautiful, this feeling, of having a family, lying together under a sky full of stars, and it should be enough to satisfy him, always has been before, but Kageyama can't help but imagine briefly what it would feel like lie down close to Hinata instead, to hear him breathe and watch the rise and fall of his chest.

 _Hinata again,_ he thinks to himself despairingly. And then,  _I don't know how to deal with this._

So he clenches his eyes shut guiltily, anchoring himself with the solid feeling of Daichi and Suga, and takes slow, deep breaths to drift away into unconsciousness. 

That night, he dreams of flowers.


	3. flight

Pink flowers, blue flowers, yellow flowers, daisies and roses and orchids and other blossoms whose names he doesn't know, flowers with a heady sweetness and flowers with no fragrance at all - flowers that are plucked gently with a black beak or claw and end up mysteriously on Hinata's back porch in the morning, to be picked up gingerly by pale slender fingers and placed carefully in the large book.

That’s Kageyama's life now, all those flowers.

It begins a few days after he visited Hinata's house for the first time, when a thought occurs to him that Hinata probably isn't able to find many different flowers to collect given his limited mobility. It starts off with a delicate apple blossom being discovered with Hinata's joyous but puzzled exclamation as Kageyama watches silently from the treetops, taking off unnoticed after a few minutes.

And so they keep coming, the flowers, at least once every week, arriving in the early morning before anyone is awake. Hinata is perplexed, utterly confounded as to who the mysterious plants keep coming from, and his curiosity is both endearing and amusing. Kageyama knows it's stupid, to keep doing this, chasing after his own heart, but it helps keep his feelings in check and prevents them from overflowing. In short, it makes him happier than he has ever been for a long time. The flowers speak wordlessly for him, saying what he can't.

So he goes about looking for them whenever he's on a journey, choosing his times carefully so he isn't caught carrying flowers of all things, which would even raise Suga's eyebrows and undoubtedly bring about a forced questioning from the others. Sometimes, when he feels bold, Kageyama flies past the window he knows Hinata is looking out of, swooping fast and intentional into his field of view before darting away again. But however bold he's feeling, he's not bold enough to look at Hinata's face, to see whether there's a hint of recognition or just blank curiosity.

He's too afraid to look.

 

The months blend into each other, a haze of spring rains and clear sunny days, of fragrant air and birdsong. Before he knows it, it's time for another summer.

Summers - how many had he seen by now?

Kageyama's not very fond of them: they're hot and stuffy, either too dry or too humid, and the sun scorches his black plumage with a menace. And the heat also means that flowers will wilt quicker, life seeping away into the quickly warming air. To top it all off, this summer seems to be determined to break temperature records, with sweltering heat waves that make everyone in the flock at least slightly irritable. Everyone goes off by their own more often than not, just to get away from it all and try not to start a fight.

A few weeks into the season, Hinata stops coming outside. Kageyama's flowers are picked up instead by  either by his mother or father. A month passes, still without a trace of him in the yard, and Kageyama begins to feel restless. It's not enough, to just bring his gifts and not see Hinata receive them, to not watch him sprawl out against the grass and blow fluffy dandelion seeds at his sister. He misses seeing him more than he'd like to admit, and he's worried at what the heat could have possibly done to him.

Kageyama's never set foot in Hinata's house, always lingering at the edges of the yard, dipping in momentarily onto the porch. The action seems to cross a subconscious line in his head - it's too invasive, even rude. But he wants to see him, he really does, and with each passing day the idea appeals to him more and more. As the days get even hotter, and the leaves wilt from lack of water, Kageyama begins to give in to the temptation.

 _Just a quick look_ , he tells himself. _Just one, to make sure he's okay, and I'll wait until it's alright for him to come outside._

 

Kageyama learns two things from his visit to Hinata's house. 

One, the boy is still happy and as healthy as he possibly could be, a result of his air-conditioned surroundings. 

Two, he is not alone. 

Besides his family, there is a common visitor at the Hinata household and her name is Yachi Hitoka, a wisp of a girl with blonde hair a few shades darker than Tsukishima's. Kageyama first meets her when he sneaks into Hinata's bedroom, and he realizes at once that there is something unusual about her. She can hear him.

Their first conversation is held in low whispers, cautious of the sleeping Hinata a few feet away who lies sprawled out messily on his bed. 

"I can't see you," were her first words. "But I know you're there." She blinks fearfully from her perch in what looks like a hammock. "Are you here to kill us?"

"What?" Kageyama really doesn't know what to say to that.

She swallows visibly. "A-are you here to kill us?"

"Why would I want to do that? Why would anyone want to kill you?"

"Why does anyone want to do anything?" 

" _What_?"

"What?"

"I don't know what you're trying to say."

"Me neither," she says, resigned. Then her eyes brighten again with fear. "So, are you here to kill us?"

After a few more repetitions of this, some introductions, and once Kageyama's convinced her that killing either of them isn't high on his to-do list, she begins to relax and starts talking to him. Kageyama's job here is done, but she's so earnest in her enthusiasm that he stays to satisfy her curiosity.

She knows about his kind, her grandmother had told her about the children who changed into birds and carried souls away, but it was a twisted, sinister tale in which they stole the souls and lives of the living in spite. 

"So, Kageyama," she says, trying out his name on her tongue, "If you're not here to kill us, what are you here for?"

Kageyama blushes, and he's glad Yachi can't see. "I wanted to-" _Wanted to what? Creep on his one-sided crush?_ "To check on an old friend."

"An old friend?" 

"The idiot in the bed."

"Oh," she says, and her eyes dart towards the still blissfully unconscious Hinata. Kageyama can't help but steal a glance too, his heart fluttering whenever he looks at the other boy. Hinata's lashes are long and dark, and he finds himself trying to remember the exact dip of his neck, the curve of his cheekbones. His orange hair is an absolute mess, silky strands sticking up at random angles, but the sight of it fills Kageyama with a strange, strong fondness that starts from his chest and flows through his entire body, making him feel strangely giddy. 

"Yeah," he says. 

Yachi sighs fondly. " _That_ idiot." She looks at what she seems to think is Kageyama's face, but is actually his left shoulder. "I guess it shouldn't come as a surprise that Shou-chan knows one of your kind. His parents make it sound like he's about to die any minute."

Kageyama forces a laugh. _Shou-chan?_

He is suddenly struck with an urge to leave.

"It's been nice meeting you, Yachi," he says, as he makes his way to the door, sidestepping the piles of stuff on the ground. "But uh, I should probably go now, thanks."

"Oh, no, you shouldn't," Yachi insists, carefully dismounting the hammock. Her feet hit the floor with a soft thud. "Not when you haven't even talked to him yet. Here, I'll wake him up for you."

"No, no, it's okay, I don't need to talk to him-" _I don't need to find out if he remembers me or not._

But Yachi's already shaking Hinata, rousing him with a bright voice next to his ear. "Shou-chan! Shou-chan!" 

Kageyama has turned to stone, unable to move. The only thing that stirs is his rapidly beating heart, and the only thing he sees is the beautiful boy on the bed.

"Wake up," Yachi says, shaking Hinata harder. "Kageyama's here to see you."

Hinata finally stirs, gently pushing away Yachi's hands. He stretches like a cat, half-opens a brown eye. 

"Kageyama?" His words are slurred from sleep. "Kageyama..."

The dark-haired boy can't breathe, can't look away.

Hinata's eyes slowly open fully, blinking a few times. A slow, knowing smile illuminates his face. "Thank you for the flowers."

Kageyama is so happy it hurts.

 

He ends up staying until after the sun rises, much longer than he'd planned. They sit on the bed and talk - Yachi voices out Kageyama's words for Hinata. She likes to tell Kageyama stories about the other boy being stupid, much to his discomfort.

"Anyways," she says quietly, mischievously, ("I can hear you, you know!") "This one time, Shou-chan talked so loud in his sleep that he woke himself up-"

"Hitokaaaaa!"

"And he thought it was someone else talking, who snuck into his room, and he got so scared he couldn't sleep again-" 

Kageyama allows himself a rare giggle. Laughter comes easy with the both of them. 

"What an idiot," he says. 

Yachi laughs. "I knew I wasn't the only one who thought so!"

"What did you say, Tobio? What did you say? Why are you ganging up on me?" Hinata whines plaintively. 

"Be quiet!" Yachi hisses. "Your parents are going to wake up."

"You're pretty loud too-"

Kageyama listens to their banter, their familiarity and friendship so obvious, and he wishes. 

"He's your invisible friend, you take responsibility telling your mom about him-"

"You seem to be pretty friendly with him-"

He looks from blonde hair to orange hair, and asks. "Are you related?"

Yachi laughs, shakes her head. "No, we met at the hospital."

The hospital. He looks at her, the frailty of her limbs, her pale, almost translucent skin. So that's why she can hear him. His heart twists.

Yachi smiles a tiny bit mournfully, as if she knows what he's thinking, and changes the subject. 

"We haven't been outside for so long," she says mournfully, closing her eyes. "You have wings, don't you, Kageyama?"

"Big, ugly, black ones," Hinata says teasingly, sticking out his tongue at where he believes the other boy is sitting. 

"Rude," Kageyama grumbles, but his heart is fond. 

"Rude," Yachi repeats, smiling. She lies down on the bed. "So tell us about the sky, Tobio." 

 

It is late morning when Kageyama slips out again, with a full heart and a new friend. Their words echo in his ears, filling him with a wonderful contentedness. _Come again tomorrow, Tobio. Yeah, tomorrow._

He does. 

 

Kageyama finds himself at the Hinata residence more often than not, and it's so _strange_ , but wonderful, how seamlessly he fits into Hinata and Yachi's life. Hinata believes without hesitation that he's there, despite not being able to hear him or see him. It must come with being eight years old, and Kageyama is thankful for it. He often comes late in the afternoon, when Hinata and Yachi's parents are having tea in the living room, and the three of them talk and share pieces of their lives with each other. Sometimes they fight, mostly Hinata and Kageyama, but it all ends quickly when Yachi gets annoyed and stops broadcasting Kageyama's insults for him to hear. They keep the raven boy a secret from their parents - they know that they've got enough to worry about without what would certainly seem like an imaginary friend. In turn, they become his biggest secret, something precious that he does not feel like sharing with anyone.

 _Beautiful people_ ,  he thinks to himself, as he watches them begin to fall asleep on the couch, Yachi curled up small and gentle, Hinata splayed haphazardly at her back with a smile on his face that makes it hard for Kageyama to look away. They look so _natural_ together, a golden sun and a golden flower, and there is no place there for someone as dark as him. He can't help but feel a tiny bit of resentment towards Yachi, Yachi who looks so peaceful pressed back to back with Hinata, can't help but wish that it was him instead. Above all, he wishes that Hinata could see him, could hear him and touch him, despite knowing what all of that would mean. And then Kageyama hates himself, for wishing those awful wishes.

He rises quietly, without saying goodbye.

 Like usual, he will be gone when they wake up.

 

As the earth begins to lose its feverous heat and the days shorten and the leaves change colour, Hinata and Yachi are allowed outside again. Yachi's the one who pushes his wheelchair, talking with Kageyama who walks beside her, while Hinata takes in the outdoors, wordless with excitement. They go to the forest sometimes, as far in as they can without their parents yelling at them to come back, and on good days Hinata will stand up on his own and make his way into the sunlight. Kageyama loves watching him when he does that - the boy's head is tilted upwards to the sky, and the sun catches the edges of his hair and gilds them in gold. His eyes are closed in absolute bliss, his mouth curls into a small smile, and everything about him seems to say " _I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy._ " It is at moments like these that Kageyama can't look away.

"-Kageyama?" Yachi's voice has a hint of laughter in it.

"Yes?"

"You haven't heard a word I said, have you?"

He blinks, tears his eyes away from Hinata and looks at Yachi's strange knowing smile. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

Kageyama winces at the understanding in her voice. "I didn't mean to." He sighs. "I got distracted."

Yachi somehow finds his eyes. Kageyama doesn't know how she does it. Is her hearing that amazing? 

"Distracted, huh?" She looks from Kageyama to the oblivious Hinata, and she suddenly reminds Kageyama of Suga after piecing together the truth. There's still a smile on her face. "Okay."

Later, Kageyama finds himself lying on the grass with the two of them. There's a strange hush over the world, one that even manages to silence the orange-haired boy for the most part. The air is cool and sweet, the ground delightfully comfortable, and as they watch the sun fall slowly beyond the horizon and paint the sky, he thinks it feels like home.

"I wish I could stay like this forever," Yachi says, and there's a rare sadness in her voice.

"Forever," Hinata whispers contemplatively. "That would be nice, I think."

"Forever," Kageyama breathes, more to himself than anything. The word tastes impossible on his tongue.

They go back inside when the sun hides its face, and Kageyama returns to his flock.

 

In the spring, Yachi decides that they have done enough sitting around during the past winter, and once the crocuses poke their heads out of the soil, they are outside. They sit out on the front steps in the morning, the two of them, sometimes accompanied by an invisible Kageyama, and give out smiles like flowers to passers-by. Soon, the whole neighbourhood knows them, is enamoured by the two frail golden children with lovely greetings and a grin for everyone. The affectionate granny and her grandchildren across the street love them, the cantankerous old man who walks his dog every day grunts out a greeting to them, the obnoxious pretty boy with chestnut hair chirps out a "Yoo-hoo!" while walking with his girl for the day. Hinata and Yachi have found their way into everybody's hearts, be it children or adults or elders. 

Hinata grins from ear to ear whenever people stop for a moment to talk to them. Yachi gives out shy smiles and stuttered compliments. Kageyama watches.

 _Beautiful people_ , he thinks. He won't let himself feel sad.

 

When the sky turns deep and clear, when the stars barely begin to shine their calm cold light and the three of them lie on the grass and watch the heavens - it's times like these when Kageyama feels like he is laid bare to the world.

"I love the sky," he says. "I love it so much."

"The sky?" Hinata asks dubiously, after he hears. "But it's so empty."

"And big," Yachi adds.

_They don't understand. They don't have wings._

 

Once every so often, Kageyama visits on a day when Yachi isn't there, and it's just him and Hinata. It makes him uneasy, to be there while the other boy can't see him or hear him, so he perches on the desk or a shoulder, watching him quietly with sharp raven eyes. The first time they're alone together for the afternoon, he's uncomfortably nervous, fluttering his wings at the slightest sound or contact. But Hinata is blissfully oblivious, chattering away cheerfully. 

He's a surprisingly good liar - when his parents ask who he's talking to, he tells them he's on the phone with Izumi without batting an eye, and continues telling Kageyama whatever's on his mind. Hinata's full of stories, he seems to be made of them, and he spills them out to him while they both sit on the grass outside, Kageyama perched on his wheelchair.

"You know, Kageyama, when I was really young, I used to go to school. I remember it being pretty fun, except for the actual school part. But there were so many people, and I was just so happy to see them. I don't get to see a lot of people these days. Not that it isn't nice, being with you and Yachi. It was just a different type of nice, you know?" He looks at Kageyama with brown doe-eyes, wide and earnest, making sure he understands. "But eventually, I was just so tired all the time, and before I knew it, I was falling behind. So my parents took me out. It isn't like going to school is going to help me in the long run, you know? But it wasn't lonely. Sometimes it's lonely here, when you and Yachi both aren't here. I have my mom and dad and Natsu and the people who walk by, but that's different. Yachi brings me drawings, and you bring me flowers." His face lights up in a grin. "It's just more fun when you guys are around!"

Kageyama's raven heart skips a beat, and he realizes he's utterly gone.

 

The years blur together for Kageyama. Hinata's book of flowers gets too full and he has to get another. Yachi actually takes up proper drawing, and spends her free time sketching somewhat offensive but humorous caricatures of the orange-haired family. Kageyama collects souls, comes by almost every other day, returns to his flock by night. The flowers bloom and wilt, bloom and wilt, bloom and wilt again, and he is happy. Things change, they come and go like the blossoms, but through it all, Kageyama's heart stays the same.

 _It_ 's still there, whatever _it_ is, after all these years, like a melody playing in the background. It makes his days golden, makes them dark, tightens his chest when he hears Hinata laugh and makes it hard to breathe.

It's wonderful and terrible and absolutely pointless.

On the day before Hinata's twelfth birthday, Yachi doesn't fall asleep on the couch like she usually does. She waits for Hinata to knock himself out and both she and Kageyama plan out their presents for him - an actually pleasant drawing from her, a bouquet from him. He's about to leave when he sees Yachi get on the couch when they finish, but she strangely, she calls out to him.

"Don't go yet."

Her voice is serious and strange and Kageyama can't find it in himself to disobey her. She gestures to the spot between her and the sleeping Hinata, a pile of gangly limbs only a bit longer than before, in all its near-12-year-old glory. So Kageyama sits there, for what it's worth, feeling their warmth on either side. There's a smile on Yachi's face as she gazes at Hinata.

"He's an idiot," she says, and Kageyama is taken back to a time, around three years ago, where Hinata was asleep as well and Yachi had said something similar. She looks up, uncannily finding Kageyama's eyes. "But he's like a brother to me. And I'm like his sister. Well, his other sister." Her eyes are knowing, bright, like the autumn day she caught him staring at Hinata.

Kageyama lets the words sink in, barely beginning to hope.

"Tobio, you really like Shou-chan, don't you?" Yachi asks, and it's more of a statement than a question.

It's strange, to feel so many of his feelings summed up into a few words. But she's right, and it's true, so Kageyama lets his biggest secret slip out in a whisper. "Yes."

Yachi doesn’t even blink. "I thought so. For how long?"

"Since I met him."

Yachi sighs. They both look at Hinata, who smiles gently in his sleep.

"That idiot."

"That idiot," Kageyama agrees, and his voice is tight. They sit in silence for a bit.

"How could you stand it all these years?" Yachi finally asks, and her voice is as sad as he's ever heard it. There are even tears than shine too-bright in her brown eyes. "How could you stand being so close to him?" _And so far_ , her silence says.

Kageyama closes his eyes, remembers. "He called me beautiful."

There's a tear glistening on Yachi's face now, and Kageyama wants to reach out for her. He wonders how he could've ever sunk so low to even consider being resentful of her. "Please, Yachi." He swallows. "Hitoka. Please don't cry for me."

"You idiot," Yachi breathes. "I'm crying for both of you. Someone has to do it." But she wipes her tears anyways, takes a deep breath.

Kageyama doesn't know what to say, so he doesn't say anything.

"You keep so much inside of you, Tobio."

"I know."

"You don't have to."

"I don't know how not to. I'm not like Hinata."

Yachi's voice is thoughtful. "You know, you and Shou-chan are more alike than you think." She smiles, a bit tearfully. "He has his own share of secrets, too."

"I can't tell by looking at him," Kageyama says honestly.

"Most people can't," Yachi says. And then, "He adores you, you know. That's not a secret."

Kageyama can feel something warm and beautiful burst into bloom inside him. He swallows it down, closes his eyes. "Why would he?" He doesn't wait for Yachi to answer. "It doesn't matter anyways," he says, and his voice is cold. "It's all pointless, so pointless-"

"You're wrong," Yachi says fiercely. Her eyes are blazing. "I don't know a lot of things. I'm young and stupid and inexperienced. I've barely gone to school. But I do know that what you have is far from pointless."

Kageyama is grateful. "You're not stupid, Yachi." He cracks a small smile. "But thank you."

She laughs and wipes a stray tear. "It's just what I think."

"I wish you were right," Kageyama says.

"I think I am," Yachi responds.

A minute passes before Kageyama suddenly speaks again. "Hey, Yachi, how did you know that I-" He cuts himself off, embarrassed.

"Because," Yachi says. "Because when you talk about him, you sound like you're talking about the sky."

 

"You're growing, Kageyama," Suga notes to him one spring evening. 

Kageyama blinks. "Really?" 

The silver-haired boy nods, smiling. "You're almost as tall as me now. And you look older. Here," he says, leading him to the edge of the waters. "Look."

Kageyama does, staring intently at the reflection gazing back at him. It's still him, black feathers creeping along the side of his pale face, a dark fringe above blue eyes, but it's different - Suga's right. He looks older, no  longer the child he had been for so long. He's lost the cherubic roundness of his cheeks, replaced by the sharper angles and harder lines of adolescence. His eyes seem different too, a bit more slanted than they were before. Instinctively, he touches his face, tries to map out the changes.

"Does it look weird?" 

Suga's reflection laughs. "Don't worry, you're quite handsome. You've aged well, Kageyama."

"Thank you," says Kageyama. It's nice to hear.

"I don't think you can be the baby of the flock anymore if you keep this up," Suga says, grinning. "We're going to have to go back to spoiling Yamaguchi."

Kageyama allows himself a smile. "Tsukishima's going to be jealous. He doesn't like sharing him with anyone." He looks up at Suga, bemused. "It's strange, you know. I haven't aged for so long."

"Maybe you're trying to catch up with somebody," Suga says contemplatively. Kageyama shoots him a look. Sometimes he swears that the other boy _knows_ , but Suga never gives anything away. The only evidence Kageyama has is a hint of a smile on his lips as he stares out towards the sea. "Who are you trying to catch up with, Kageyama?"

He thinks of orange hair and barely growing limbs and twelfth birthdays. 

"Nobody," he says.


	4. feathers

"Tobio, do you happen to have black hair?"

Kageyama freezes.

It's exactly a month before Hinata's thirteenth birthday, and the three of them are out in the backyard as per usual. Kageyama sits beside Yachi on the back porch, watching Hinata lie on his stomach, studying the spring flowers intently. Usually, Yachi would join him, but she seems to get tired easily as of late.

"What did you say?"

"I asked you if you had black hair," Yachi says.

"Oh," says Kageyama. "I do."

They sit in silence for a moment.

"I think I can see you a bit," says Yachi carefully. Her voice is surprisingly steady. 

Kageyama shakes his head. "You're probably just seeing things." _Please, this can't be happening._

"Yes, I am," she says. "I see you."

"There are some people," Kageyama says, "Who can see us and hear us, even though they're not -" He coughs. "You might be one of them."

He doesn't mention that it's an ability that’s exhibited from birth.

"Maybe," Yachi says, but they know neither of them believes it. She sounds sad. "Don't tell Shou-chan yet, okay?"

_Another secret._

"Okay," Kageyama whispers. 

 

"I see you," Yachi says to Kageyama, one May afternoon. She's lying on her back on the couch, sketchbook clutched to her chest, too tired to draw. There's a hazy smile on her face as she looks directly at him. "Your eyes are lovely."

That day, Yachi is sent to the hospital.

 

Hinata's cries. He doesn't try to hide it - his face is blotchy and his eyes are swollen, and Kageyama lets the other boy hold him in his arms. He feels a bit cramped, and a lot of his feathers are sticking up the wrong way, but he doesn't squawk in protest. This wordless comfort is the only thing he can give. There's no Yachi to tell Hinata what he's saying.

They sit there together, and if ravens could cry Kageyama would weep.

 

Yachi lives.

Hinata's family visits her a week after, bringing enough drawing supplies to last her a decade. Kageyama trails behind them on quiet feet.

" _Hitokaaaaa_!" Shouyou all but wails, and his parents shush him, but it doesn't stop him from almost launching himself at his friend in the hospital bed. But Yachi doesn't seem to mind, she's tearfully happy too, smiles wide from ear to ear. But Kageyama notes the tubes and needles that are hooked up to her, the dark circles under her eyes, her even more prominent cheekbones, and his heart sinks.

Yachi catches his eye, blinks. "Tobio?"

"Who?" Hinata's father asks.

Yachi shakes her head. "Nobody, sorry," she says. Then she grins. "Everyone, get out. I need to talk to Shouyou."

They all comply, even though Yachi's mother is hesitant about leaving them alone for even a few minutes: "Press the button if you need the nurse, honey," but eventually they all leave. Yachi sighs contentedly, Hinata bursts into a bright bout of laughter and embraces her again.

They talk and laugh like nothing is wrong, like nothing has changed. But Kageyama can see the effort it takes Yachi to shout over Hinata, the sadness that comes into her eyes when he's not looking. At one point, she catches Kageyama's eye again meaningfully, and when Hinata's family leaves, he stays behind.

"You still see me?" he asks when everyone is gone.

"More clearly than before," she answers tiredly, and they both know what that means. "Come here, Tobio, you didn't give me a hug."

Kageyama embraces her, feeling her sharp bones under pale skin.

"I don't have as long as they thought I would," she murmurs into his ear, and for the first time, she sounds afraid. "I don't think I'll ever get to be thirteen."

They break apart, and Yachi smiles at him, brave and quiet.

"Does Hinata know?"

"If he doesn't, he will soon." She sighs. She looks so _tired_ , so frail. Gingerly, Kageyama reaches out and places his cool hand on hers.

"I'm sorry," he says, and he truly is.

"It's not your fault," she mumbles. Her eyes begin to close. "It's nobody's fault, really. But it still feels awful."

"You should rest," Kageyama tells her.

"There'll be a lot of time for that later," she says. Her brown eyes are glossy under the light. "Do you remember, Kageyama?"

"Remember what?" His voice is soft.

"That evening we lay under the sky, and I wished we could be there forever." Her eyes are almost completely closed now.

Kageyama thinks. "Yes, I remember."

"I don't think I'll be able to go out into the yard  very often now," she says. "And Shou-chan will be alone on the front steps in the morning." She draws a deep, shaky breath.

"Shhh, Hitoka," Kageyama hushes her.

"I have to tell him to promise me something… You'll watch over him, won't you, Tobio?"

"Yes," Kageyama says, and it hurts. "I will."

"Tobio?"

"Yes?"

"I'm glad I heard your footsteps that morning."

"Me too."

 

 The next time Hinata visits, Yachi holds him close and makes him promise her something. Kageyama doesn't know what it is; he walks out politely until they finish. He hears Hinata crying, Yachi whispering fiercely, but eventually the sniffling stops and he enters the room again. There are tear tracks on the boy's face, but they're talking to each other normally again, laughing and joking at one of Yachi's drawings.

The three of them don't have a lot of time left together, but there's still some left, and that's what counts.

 

Between visiting Yachi and visiting Hinata, Kageyama spends a lot less time with his flock, often coming back much later than usual. It's not something that goes unnoticed.

"Kageyama, where have you _been_?" becomes Daichi's favourite phrase, and Kageyama always mumbles something vague like "Flying," or "Around."

"What's up with you these days?" Nishinoya asks him bluntly one day, eyes narrowed.

"That's not nice, Noya," Asahi rebukes softly.

"I've got to agree," Kageyama says.

"You used to be so _cute_!" Noya exclaims. He quirks an eyebrow. "Now you're just - well, not so much. "

Kageyama doesn't know what makes him tell the truth, but he does. "Someone I know is dying." He hates the sound of his words.

"Huh," Noya tilts his head. "You talk to living people, Kageyama?"

"Well, yeah, I guess. Sometimes."

"Weird," the shorter boy comments, almost disinterestedly. His attention is snatched away in a moment by Tanaka yelling about how Kiyoko is nowhere to be found, and he's gone in a swish of feathers, dragging Asahi with him into the indigo sky.

"Why?" An all-too familiar voice comes from beside him. Kageyama turns to see Tsukishima, with his perpetual bored air, but there's a strange note of genuine curiosity in his voice. He has an arm wrapped around Yamaguchi, who's sleeping on him again, messy dark hair sticking up at seemingly impossible angles.

"What do you mean?" Kageyama asks irritably.

"Their lives are so short," the blonde boy says. "You're just setting yourself up for pain, so why do you talk to them?"

 _Setting myself up for pain? Is that what I'm doing?_  "Well, they're fun, I guess. And interesting."

" _Interesting_ ," Tsukishima smirks, and there's the familiar note of teasing that gets under Kageyama's skin so easily. "I'd have thought that the boy with the spiky hair and nice arms from your old flock would be _interesting_ enough. What was his name, Iwa-something?"

"Piss off," Kageyama says, turning away to hide the blush on his cheeks.

"But really," Tsukishima says. "You probably shouldn't waste your time with them. They'll either forget you, or worst of all, they'll die. It's not worth it becoming attached to things that die." He runs his hand through Yamaguchi's hair in an uncharacteristic show of tenderness.

Kageyama stiffens. "Don't say that."

"It's true."

"Doesn't mean you have to say it."

Tsukishima shoots him a glance, then lets out an exasperated sigh. "Fine, _king_." And then he adds, "I guess it's too late for you, anyways. "

For someone so obnoxious and antagonistic, Tsukishima can really be observant, sort of like a more sadistic, rude Sugawara. Kageyama scowls. He doesn't need this right now. Beside him, the blonde boy shifts, holding Yamaguchi a bit closer to him, and the freckled boy lets out a soft sigh in his sleep.

"He's gonna suffocate," Kageyama says, scoffing.

"Shut up." But he gives Yamaguchi a bit more breathing space anyways.

"He's not going anywhere, you know."

"I don't need you to tell me that," Tsukishima mutters, seemingly affronted and glaring at him through his glasses. "Go play with your wingless friends already. Or look for Shimizu like the rest of them, I don't care. I don't want to smell your angst polluting our air."

"You've got problems, Tsukishima," Kageyama tells him disdainfully. He makes a mental note to never try to talk to Tsukishima again and dons his feathers before the other boy can make a snide comment, letting the wind carry him away.

 

_Things that die._

Is that truly all Hinata and Yachi amount to? 

 _Are they really worth all that pain?_ A small voice in his head asks. _Maybe you should just fly away and leave them behind, before they have a chance to hurt you._

It's an ugly, ugly thought, and he hates it. He hates Tsukishima too, for putting it in his head.

_Things that die._

A lot of things die. He's just not one of them.

 

His wings take him to Yachi's hospital room. She's bound to be feeling lonely as of late, sleeping by herself in the bleak, blanched room, without a Hinata to liven it.

"Hitoka," he calls as he enters the room, "I'm here."

"She's sleeping," says a familiar, soft  voice that is most certainly not Yachi, and Kageyama stops in his tracks. Sitting in a chair next to the hospital bed is Shimizu, calm and poised, near ethereal in the moonlight. 

"Hello, Kageyama," she says.

"Hi," he says dumbly.

"She fell asleep an hour ago," Shimizu says, like there is nothing unusual about the situation.

"Oh," Kageyama says eloquently.

The dark-haired girl cracks a small smile, motions to the chair beside her. "Sit?"

Kageyama nods, wordless, and takes the offered chair. He feels like his two worlds that he has separated so efficiently up until now have collided, and in the process he's been stripped bare, his secrets lying blatantly out in the open for another to see. He looks at Shimizu, opens his mouth, discovers that he has lost the ability of speech, and closes it again.

"We met a few weeks ago," Shimizu says, by way of explanation. "Hitoka saw me when I was picking someone up. She's very interesting."

"Yes," Kageyama says. "Interesting." _Of all the people she takes an interest in, i_ _t had to be Yachi._  

"She talks about you quite a bit, you and this boy called Shouyou," Shimizu says. "Small world, huh?"

"Yeah," he says, almost robotically. "We're acquainted."

Shimizu raises an eyebrow. "For five years? Without any of the flock knowing?"

Kageyama feels his hands begin to sweat, and when he speaks, it's too fast and his words stumble over each other. "I-I didn't think it was that important, you know, and Suga would have probably been worried about it but it's nothing, so it really wasn't very necessary and I never got around to doing telling them-"

"Hey," Shimizu smiles, eyes gentle under her glasses. She reaches out and cradles his cheek in her hand, a strangely tender gesture from someone usually so reserved. "I'm not going to rat you out. Not that there's much to rat you out on. In my opinion, who you choose to spend your time is up to you."

Kageyama lets out a breath he doesn't know he'd been holding.

"Besides," Shimizu continues, "Look at me. Am I really in a position to judge you right now?" Her hand drops from Kageyama's face and falls into her lap.

Kageyama glances at Yachi. "I guess not."

Shimizu smiles, almost a bit sadly, and looks away for him. "You're right."

He looks at her, wondering. "Do you like her?"

"I'm quite fond of her," she says simply, and it's an answer that says more than it does.

"She's dying."

"I know that."

"Tsukishima says it's a waste of time." There's an unsaid question in his words, and Shimizu finally meets his eyes again.

"Tsukishima," she scoffs. "He shouldn't be talking. But I guess he would know."

It takes Kageyama a moment to realize the implications of what she's saying. "Wait - what?"

"You didn't know?" Shimizu looks at him curiously. "I thought everyone did."

Kageyama shakes his head violently.

"Well, I guess you could ask him about it one day," she says. Kageyama gives her a look, and she sighs. "Okay, maybe not. But I don't really like spreading painful secrets."

"Fine," he grumbles, still burningly curious.

"The thing is," Shimizu says, "He doesn't understand this anymore, or he's forgotten how to, ever since Yamaguchi came. Because he's happy, and he doesn't need anything else. The same goes for  the rest of them. They found someone, someone with wings and feathers who can be with them forever. They don't need to look twice at the living world - there's nothing for them there except the view and a job. And it's good, you know? It's how it's supposed to be."

Kageyama thinks of Daichi and Suga, of how they look at each other like they see the stars in each other's eyes, and he knows it's true.

"So they look at this world that they've seen so many times, and they're so far away now, it's like they're watching a game of chess. And then they'll look at me and ask, 'Why do you love the pawn?'"

She takes a breath, voice still low and calm.

"Because they don't understand, Kageyama. Even if someone doesn't have wings and a life that lasts thousands and thousands of years, it doesn't mean they're expendable. It doesn't mean their smiles and words worth less. It doesn't mean-" Her voice lowers, almost to a whisper. "It doesn't mean you shouldn't fall in love with them."

It's probably the most he's ever heard her speak at a time. Her eyes are bright, almost fierce. Kageyama can't look away.

"Won't it hurt?" He finally asks. "When she's gone, forever."

"I'm okay with a bit of pain," she answers. "So are you, if you're here."

"I guess," Kageyama says, and they just sit there in the silent dark for a few minutes. Suddenly, Kageyama remembers.

"Hey-"

"You know-"

They blink at each other. Shimizu is the first one to laugh, and Kageyama finds himself smiling as well. "You go first," he says.

There's a note of mischief in her voice. "Hitoka told me about you and Shouyou-"

"Never mind, I take that back," Kageyama says quickly, sending a glare at the sleeping Yachi. "I'm going first."

"You're blushing!" It's one of the first times he's ever seen Shimizu so amused. Her laughing would be lovely if it wasn't at his expense.

"Everyone's looking for you!" He says, louder and faster than is necessary. "So we should probably be heading back!"

"Oh," she says, and stops laughing.

They rush out of the hospital, not before Shimizu presses a kiss on Yachi's forehead, and take off into the night.

 

"I think Yachi likes someone," Hinata says to Kageyama a few days later. There's a pensive frown on his face. "But she won't tell me who!"

The raven boy can't help it. He lets out a croaky _quork_ of amusement, and Hinata turns to stare at him suspiciously.

"I bet you know," he says, narrowing his eyes. "Can't believe she told stupid Kageyama instead of me."

All he gets in response is another croak and a light fluttering of wings.

"Stop laughing! Tell me who it is!" Kageyama hops back in alarm as a pen and notepad are shoved in his face. "Ravens can write, right? Come back here, Tobio, you idiot! You've gotta tell me!"

Kageyama perches on his windowsill, letting out one last triumphant raven chuckle before launching himself out.

 

Hinata finds out soon enough, pieces it all together when he sees Yachi talking to what seems like thin air, just like she does with Kageyama. Getting him acquainted with Shimizu is a bit of a challenge, but he still has the unwavering faith of a child in the existence of the  unseeable and intangible, and he's properly excited that Yachi has a bird-girl friend to keep her company, like he has Kageyama.

"What do you look like, Kiyoko?" Hinata wonders on the day they meet. They sit around Yachi, who looks as happy as ever, even as she lies in a slightly drowsy state with her eyes half-open.

"She's beautiful!" Yachi bursts out, before anyone else can say anything, then flushes with embarrassment, sneaking a sideways glance at Shimizu. The black-haired girl smiles shyly, pink dusting her cheeks.

"Thank you, Hitoka," she says.

"But what do you look like?" Hinata asks insistently.

Yachi speaks for her, trying to recover from her debilitating mortification. "Black hair, blue eyes, the longest eyelashes ever, glasses-"

"Okay, okay! I'll try to imagine you." Hinata clenches his eyes shut. "Black hair, blue eyes… hey!" His eyes flutter open. "That's like Tobio!"

"I guess," Shimizu says, and looks at Kageyama, smiling. He just shrugs and rolls his eyes, trying to ignore the slight blush beginning to form on his cheeks.

"I'm sure you're much better looking though," Hinata continues. Kageyama glares at him, feels an urge to give him a good punch. Not that he would feel anything anyways.

"You haven't even seen Tobio for years, Shou-chan!" Yachi protests. She sneaks a glance at him. "He's grown up a bit. Really tall."

Hinata seems to stiffen at the mention of height. He scoffs, staring at Kageyama's left shoulder. "I bet he has wrinkles."

" _You_ -" Kageyama grits his teeth.  _  
_

Yachi blinks. "Shouyou, you are so lucky you can't see Tobio right now. He's terrifying."

"I don't have to see him to know that," Hinata says, indignantly.

"But he's still pretty handsome though," the golden-haired girl says, winking.  

"Yeah," Shimizu agrees. She casts a mischievous smile at Kageyama. "He's _heartbreakingly_ handsome."

"Perfect hair," Yachi adds, grinning. "Cute fringe, to be honest."

"Above average body," Shimizu says, beginning to giggle.

Kageyama can only gape. He feels very betrayed. 

"Bedroom eyes," Yachi says, before breaking down into peals of laughter.

"Perky-"

"That's _enough_!" Kageyama barks, his cheeks way too warm. The two girls are still laughing, Shimizu doubled over. He never would have guessed she had it in her. "Perky," huh.

Hinata looks absolutely perplexed, eyes wide and confused, mouth slightly open in what seems like intense thought.

"What?" He manages.

"Like what you don't see, Shou-chan?" Yachi says, through her giggles. "Because he sure likes-"

" _STOP!_ " Kageyama shouts, and before anyone can react, he's gone in a swirl of black feathers.

 

The days slip through his hands like water, quick and bittersweet in their passing. They're beautiful, happy summer days, brightened by the constant presence of friends, but there's always the overshadowing cloud of the inevitable, nagging insistently at the back of everyone's minds. Kageyama can see Yachi getting weaker with every laboured breath, can almost feel her beginning to cross over. It's tragic, it really is, because just as surely as he sees Yachi beginning to fade away, he sees her and Shimizu falling in love with each other. He sees it in the way they look at each other, the way they steal kisses when they don't know he's there, the way they love each other's voices. It's something that he can only describe as beautiful, and like all beautiful things, it is coming to an end.

One night, he finds Shimizu sitting alone, watching over the sleeping Yachi like a ghostly sentry. She doesn't move, even when she hears him sit down beside her. Her eyes seem drawn to the girl on the bed, etching every curve of her delicate face into memory. After a moment, she speaks, and it comes out as a whisper.

"I love her," she says simply. "I love her so much I didn't think it was possible."

"I know," Kageyama says, and thinks of Hinata. He sighs. "It hurts, doesn't it? I'm sorry."

She turns to look at him, and her eyes are shining with tears. "It's not your fault. I know what I signed up for. So does she, and she's brave."

"You're brave too," Kageyama says, "You're brave enough to love her."

Shimizu turns her gaze back to Yachi, soft and loving and pained. "She's so wonderful, so beautiful. She deserves the world, not _this_."

"Yeah," says Kageyama. "You're right."

"I can't imagine never seeing her again," Shimizu whispers, and a tear slides down her cheek. "I can't, I can't, I _can't_ -"

And she lets Kageyama hold her as she begins to cry, all sadness and love and drops of salty ocean.

 

Yachi's body weakens relentlessly as she fades away one day at a time, and it hurts to see how brave she is, for all her suffering. She has half a month left, give or take a few days, and she's scared, Kageyama can tell, scared and sad but tries not to let it show.

 "I don't want to go yet," he hears her say to Shimizu one day. "Not when everyone is still here." Her voice is quiet and flower-petal soft.

"They'll be with you soon enough," comes Shimizu's voice, steady and comforting.

"But you won't," Yachi murmurs, and she sounds close to tears.

"I'm sorry," Shimizu says. "I can't follow you to where you're going."

Yachi sighs. "Not your fault."

"I am so lucky to have met you," Shimizu says, so lowly that Kageyama almost can't catch the words. "Just remember that I love you, wherever you are and wherever you go."

Yachi's response is too quiet for him to hear, but he catches the sound of tears, a hitched breath, quiet weeping.

_Love._

What a terrifying thing.

 

It's an August evening when Yachi calls for Kageyama for the last time. She's a bit delirious, eyes glassy and voice too soft, waiting in the bed with her parents beside her. Shimizu is the one who fetches him, brings him before the moth-wing fragile, golden girl counting down to her last hours.

"Hitoka, Kageyama's here," she tells her softly.

Yachi blinks, finally sees him.

"Tobio," she breathes. She reaches out a too-slender hand to him, and Kageyama takes it gently without thinking.

She's shaking.

"I'm here," he says, and tries to keep his voice steady.

"I'm going to miss you," she says, and there's a dazed smile on her face, even as she coughs a bit. Her mother looks at her, concerned.

"Who are you talking to, Hitoka?" She asks.

"My friend," Yachi responds, still not looking away from Kageyama. Her mother glances quickly at her father, who shrugs wearily.

"I'm going to miss you, Tobio," she says again, and it comes out a tired whisper.

"Don't waste your breath, Hitoka," Kageyama says.

"I wish I could have stayed in the yard with you and Shou-chan and Kiyoko," she continues, voice so soft he has to lean in. He sees a tear shining in her eye. "I wish I could have drawn more, and sat out on the front porch with all of you again and again and again-" She draws a ragged breath, and the tear trickles down her cheek.

"Where you're going, you'll be able to sit on the front porch and in the backyard as many times as you want," Kageyama tells her, almost desperately. He doesn't  want Yachi's tears. "And eventually, you'll be with everyone you love: your parents, Shouyou, Natsu- it'll be beautiful, I promise."

"But you won't be there," Yachi says, and his heart hurts, because Yachi is sweet and wonderful and understanding and she is his friend, and she is dying. "You and -" her voice breaks. "Kiyoko."

Kageyama strokes her hand, feels something stinging behind his eyes. "No," he says. "We won't."

"I thought I would be okay," she says. "But I'm not - I'm so scared, so scared. I don't want to go, not yet, there's so much I want to do, please, not yet-"

She's gasping a bit, her mother rising to call the nurse as her father hushes her, stroking her hair.

"It's okay," Kageyama says, "It's okay." He doesn't know what else to say.

Yachi swallows, closes her eyes, and when they open again they are a bit more lucid, a bit more _Yachi_ than before.

"You and Shou-chan, you'll work that out, won't you?"

"I'll try," Kageyama says.

"Good," she says. "And Kiyoko - you'll stay close to each other, yes? Make sure she doesn't do anything stupid?"

Kageyama glances at the dark-haired girl standing in the corner who seems more sadness than girl, and he nods. "Of course."

"Promise?"

Kageyama swallows. "Promise."

Yachi lets out a deep sigh, closing her eyes again.

"Thank you, Tobio."

Kageyama thinks of all the quiet understanding she's shown him over the years, all the love and care, and he leans forward to press his lips to her forehead.

"Thank _you_ , Hitoka. For everything."

 

On his way out, he sees Hinata and his family, grim-faced and teary, waiting outside. The boy is red-eyed from shed tears, still more trickling down relentlessly as he sits quietly, shrunken into himself. Kageyama almost weeps then, but instead reaches out a hand to stroke his pale cheek ever so softly with his fingers, and even though Hinata can't feel the contact, his erratic breathing evens out.

Then Kageyama's gone, brushing past him and going outside. The wind is calling him, its familiar whisper still the same after hundreds of years, and it wraps him up, numbing the pain that sits heavy in his chest.

 

He feels it when Yachi dies - a slight pull at his heart, and within moments he sees the familiar gleaming, black shape of Shimizu in the distance, spiralling upwards and away.

 _She's gone,_ he thinks, dazed. _She's gone._

He doesn't sleep that night, and Shimizu is nowhere to be found.

 

Like he promised, he watches over Hinata as much as possible. The boy keeps up a façade of strength and acceptance, does everything that he's supposed to do, but when there is no one around him but Kageyama, he lets it all crumble and crash down. His tears are unnaturally quiet - drops of grief that stream down his face for hours through the night as he clutches one of Yachi's last drawings to his chest. At times like this, Kageyama sits close beside him, his side pressed against Hinata, whose tears eventually cease as he drifts into a dream-filled sleep.

In the morning, there will be flowers waiting for him.

 

"I miss her, Kageyama," Hinata sobs brokenly one night. "I miss her."

Beside him, Kageyama clenches his eyes shut, feeling the other boy's sobs rack his body over and over again, and waits. It is almost morning when Hinata falls asleep, tear tracks glistening on pale skin. The drawing in his hand flutters gently to the ground, catching Kageyama's eye as he gets up to leave.

It's the first time he's seen it, and he doesn't expect the sudden pain that shoots through his chest and makes it hard to breathe. It's a sketch of the four of them in what is unmistakeably Hinata's yard, intricate and realistic rather than comical. Hinata's laughing with unbridled joy, and beside him is Kageyama with a small smile on his lips, while Shimizu beams in her own quiet way. Yachi herself is grinning at him, eyes lucid and happy. It takes Kageyama a while to realize that the four of them have never actually been in Hinata's yard together. The sketch is a drawing of something that never happened, that never will happen. There's a bittersweet yearning in every line, every stroke, and he realizes that it's not only a fantasy but a wish, a wish on paper.

 _Oh, Yachi,_ Kageyama thinks as he looks at the curled-up Hinata on the bed, saturated with grief, _why did you have to die?_

  
The months pass, the world keeps turning. At first, it almost seems a bit too cruel. But the grief eventually recedes, becomes something less sharp, almost a bit muffled. Kageyama can see Hinata healing too - his laughs and smiles are less forced and more like before, the same ones that make the dark-haired boy's heart skip a beat instead of sink.

Spring comes again, as beautiful as he remembers it, all tulips and cherry blossoms and sun showers. Hinata sits alone on the front steps now, with nobody but a spectral Kageyama beside him, but his words are just as sweet, his grins just as bright as before. On the rare occasion when his eyes are downcast with grief, he'll talk out loud, remind himself: "I promised her. I promised her," and put on a brave, quiet smile.

The days go on, each much like the other, but soothing in their monotony. Kageyama occupies his time with watching over Hinata and looking for Shimizu, whom no one has heard from in months. After a week of the flock searching for her, Daichi sighs and tells them to stop, that if she wanted to be found, she would have let them find her. But even though his efforts are fruitless, it doesn't stop Kageyama - Hinata's not the only one who has a promise to keep.

So he keeps looking.

 

He perches on the branches of an immense tree that scrapes the underbelly of the heavens with its boughs, gazes up into the seemingly endless blue, and thinks. He thinks of Shimizu and Yachi, of the way they looked at each other, of Hinata and his brilliance.

 _I'll find her, Hitoka_ , he says silently. _I promise._

 


	5. sky

It's the first day of June when they meet the human storm with brown hair and a pretty face called Oikawa Tooru.

He's not exactly a stranger to Hinata - just one of the people who pass by in the mornings to go to school, perhaps a few years older than him, with a cheery wave and a girl at his side more often than not. Except on that fateful day, he's silent and alone, with tears streaming down his face. Kageyama wonders what's happened to him - perhaps one of his many girls decided she'd had enough? But the way he's crying - the way he's unable to stop and is past the point of trying to hide it - suggests something far worse. Kageyama watches Hinata's eyes widen, taking in the usually immaculate boy's dishevelled appearance as he passes by without a word.

"Are you okay?" He calls out from the front steps, concerned.

"No," the boy responds shortly, without even turning his head. "Mind your own business."

Unperturbed, Hinata keeps talking. "Do you want some tea?"

Of course Hinata would offer crying strangers tea - it's such a _Hinata_ thing to do, caring and kind and altogether too naïve. However, it seems like his altruism is lost on the boy, whose jaw clenches visibly, and Kageyama cringes, preparing for the worst.

"No." He walks past them swiftly in lengthy long strides, dabbing at his eyes clumsily with a sleeve.

"Are you sure?" Hinata calls earnestly. "It'll definitely make you feel better."

Without warning, the boy whips around and explodes. " _I don't want your damn tea!_ " His handsome face twists in something akin to agony, and he begins to sob right there on the sidewalk.

Hinata blinks, brown eyes wide and bright with surprise, but it only lasts a second before it's replaced by a strange glint of understanding. Before Kageyama can react, he stands up shakily and takes a few tentative steps towards the boy, whose tall, lithe frame makes him look smaller than ever.

" _Idiot_!" Kageyama shouts, as Hinata totters. "Get _back_ here!"

The crying boy's head jerks up, and for a fraction of a second he meets Kageyama's eyes, sending a jolt of shock through him. But then his attention is diverted to the unsteady Hinata a few feet away from him, and then to the wheelchair that Hinata is obviously supposed to _be in_ , and he lets out a yelp of shock through his tears.

"What the- _what are you doing_?"

"You should stop crying on the street," Hinata says, swaying. "Come have tea!"

Kageyama doesn't know what to do - why does Hinata have to be so goddamn  _selfless_? Doesn't he know that there are limits?

Thankfully, the brown-haired boy reaches out a steadying hand to Hinata. "No, no- you get back in your damn chair before you get hurt-"

"Trust me," Hinata says, clinging to him. "I know what you're feeling-"

"No, _you don't_!" The boy almost yells. He looks ready to explode again. Kageyama bristles, ready to materialize and peck a stranger to pieces at any second. "How _would_ you?" And another sob tears its way out from his body.

Hinata flinches, as if he's been slapped. But he regains his composure almost immediately, only for a teardrop to start trickling down his cheek as well.

"Wait-" the other boy says frantically, voice frantic and rough from sobbing. "Why are you crying? What the hell?"

It's been so long since Hinata has wept that it takes a while for Kageyama to register that he is indeed crying. But once he does, white-hot anger pools inside him, at this stupid, egocentric chestnut-haired stranger who has stumbled clumsily into their world only to put tears in Hinata's eyes, Hinata who still has Yachi's loss burnt into his heart like a painful brand. _It's because he tried to help you and you yelled at him, you asshole-_

"Because you look so sad," Hinata says quietly, sniffing, and Kageyama stops in his tracks. "And I know at least what it feels like, to be sad."

There's a moment of heavy silence as they stare each other down, until finally the taller boy's shoulders slump and he sighs and looks away. Kageyama's pretty sure that Hinata has won something, but he's not sure what.

"You're an idiot," the boy says after a minute, but there is no more bite in his voice. "A short idiot."

Hinata is visibly affronted at the comment on his lack of height, but manages a large if teary smile. "And you're a tall one. So come have some -"

" _I get it_! I'll have your freaking tea, alright?"

Hinata smiles again, one of those genuine, radiant smiles that take people's breaths away. Seeing it directed at the pretty boy makes Kageyama feel strangely uncomfortable. "I'm Hinata Shouyou!"

"Oikawa Tooru," the other boy says, with a resigned upwards quirk of the lips, and he supports Hinata as they make their way to his wheelchair. As he passes Kageyama, there's no mistaking it this time - he makes direct eye contact with him, before turning his attention back to Hinata. 

"Hey, chibi-chan, is your bird boy going to join us for tea?"

Hinata blinks. Kageyama stares, itching with questions.

"If he wants to, I guess," Hinata finally manages. "He usually does."

"Usually, huh?" Oikawa glances again at Kageyama, long and searching, before pushing Hinata's wheelchair into the house, and the black-haired boy can't help but wonder if he's imagining the blatant disdain in the other boy's long-lashed eyes.

 

They end up in Hinata's kitchen, where his mother is a bit taken aback at the tear tracks that glisten so obviously on their cheeks, but is delighted with Oikawa's presence after they reassure her that nothing overly terrible happened. It's strange, almost uncanny, how fast his temperament changes when Hinata's mother is there - gone is the weeping, miserable boy with his gaze on the ground, replaced by a confident young man with his head held high, polite and mature to the point of being suave. It isn't lost on Hinata, whose eyes are bright with curiosity, but he doesn't question the other boy's façade.

Oikawa's good with people, to be sure, but in a different way that Hinata's good with people - instead of endearing, bold innocence, he has an almost unsettling amount of charm. He's beautiful too, the kind of beauty that has girls infatuated from a single smile, maybe boys as well, and he knows it, uses it to his advantage whenever possible. By the time he's finished his first cup of tea, he's chatting with Hinata's mother like they've known each other for years, laughing at inside jokes they've established probably ten minutes ago. And he talks to Hinata too, who engages in conversation with him wholeheartedly, even though he sees through Oikawa's walls to the broken something inside of him.

Hinata's mother eventually leaves to go grocery shopping, leaving the three of them alone. Oikawa lets out a breath when he hears the door close, and the walls crumble down, all his bravado and poise disappearing into the air. He doesn't look terribly tormented anymore, just tired.

"You didn't have to fake it for my mom, you know," Hinata says first, breaking the silence. "She's a mom - she'll be alright with a bit of crying."

Oikawa gives him a small, tired smile, strange in its sincerity. "You're perceptive, aren't you, chibi-chan?" And Kageyama can't help but snort, because no, Hinata really isn't. Oikawa flicks him a glance from the corner of his eye.

Hinata crosses his arms and pouts. "My name is _not_ chibi-chan."

"Fine, then," Oikawa says, crossing his arms as well. He looks amused - there's a half-smirk on his lips. "Shou-chan."

Hinata stills visibly, and it's like the air in the room has gone cold. Kageyama thinks of golden hair and a sweet voice, and something like anger flares inside him. It feels _wrong_ , to have anyone but her say those words, to let anyone else use it after she's gone.

He can't help it. " _Don't_ call him that," he snarls at Oikawa, and the boy finally turns to look at him. His brown gaze is unflinching, almost cold, and Kageyama feels the hair on the back of his neck stand up but he wills himself not to back down.

"It's okay," says a quiet voice, and they both turn at the same time to look at Hinata, who smiles small and soft. "Tobio probably told you not to call me that, right?" Oikawa nods, silent. "It's because someone I used to know called me that all the time. But it's okay. Don't worry about it, Tobio. I don't mind."

 _But I do_ , Kageyama thinks, and clenches his jaw.

Oikawa's eyes lose their flintiness, warming into something close to concern. "Are you sure? I can think of a lot more nicknames."

"Yeah," says Hinata. Though his smile's a bit forced, he looks calmer. "Shou-chan is fine. As long as it's not chibi-chan."

Oikawa grins at that, real and unrestrained, and it would be dazzling if he wasn't so much of an ass. "Thank you, by the way." He motions at the tea. "For all this."

"No problem!" Hinata chirps, regaining his liveliness.

"And I was probably a bit of an idiot on the street-"

"Yeah," Hinata says, without hesitation. "You were."

Oikawa blinks. "Give me a chance to apologize, Shou-chan! Do you know how rare it is for me to do that?"

"Fine, fine," Hinata says, and he's smiling, brown eyes bright. "Keep going."

Oikawa puts on an exaggeratedly remorseful face, clears his throat, and takes a deep breath:

"I'm sorry."

After a few expectant seconds, Hinata giggles. "Seriously? That's it?"

The brown-haired boy looks offended. "What did you expect? A speech? Flowers?"

"Nah," Hinata says, still grinning. "Tobio's the one who gets me flowers."

Oikawa's eyes find Kageyama again, and it's unsettling how quickly they lose their warmth. "Nice, Tobio-chan."

Kageyama can feel himself flushing, and from the smirk on Oikawa's face, it's not lost on him. He doesn't know what he's done for the other boy to dislike him so openly, but he does. It's written all over his handsome features: _I don't like you, I don't like you, I don't like you._

 _Well, I don't like you either_ , Kageyama thinks, and glares back at him. He wishes that Hinata would just make him leave. He won't admit it to anyone else, but under the mutual disdain, there's something about Oikawa Tooru that scares him a little. In any case, there's a quickly growing desire to punch the brown-haired boy in the face.

"Hey, Oikawa-san," Hinata says. "Why-"

"Drop the honorific, Shou-chan," Oikawa says cheerfully. Kageyama really wants to punch him in the face.

Hinata complies. "Oikawa, why can you see Tobio? Are you-"

Oikawa shakes his head, chestnut curls catching the sunlight. "No, I'm not dying if that's what you're asking."

"Oh," Hinata says seriously. "That's good."

Oikawa laughs. "I'm glad you think so. But no, I just-" He shrugs. "I just see stuff, ever since I can remember. Dead-ish people, birds like Tobio-chan here, everything in between." There's a note of resentfulness in his voice.

"Oooh, you're _lucky_!" Hinata exclaims.

"Am I?" Oikawa's tawny gaze is unreadable.

"Yeah!" Hinata assures him. "There was this crow-girl, like Tobio, you know, and apparently she was _really_ pretty. I couldn't see her, but _you_ can!"

"I think I know who you're talking about," the other boy says.

"See? That's what I mean!" Hinata grins.

"It really threw me for a loop when I was younger," Oikawa admits. "Everyone thought I was crazy."

"I wouldn't have thought you were crazy," Hinata says earnestly.

Oikawa's voice is gentle. "Thank you, Shou-chan."

"Wait," Kageyama says. He feels a guilty but ardent satisfaction interrupting their exchange. "So every time you walked by in the morning, you saw me?"

"I had the pleasure of doing so, yes," the brown-haired boy says, turning to him. There's a barely audible bite in his voice. "You're _adorable_."

Kageyama swears he can feel his feathers standing on end.

Oikawa's eyes flit to the clock on the wall. "Anyways, I have to go. Thanks, Shou-chan. Thank your mom for me too, okay? Nice meeting you, Tobio."

"Are you going to school?" Hinata asks.

"Yeah," Oikawa says. He grins. "I have volleyball practice today."

The effect is immediate - Hinata's eyes fairly _shine_ , and then he's begging Oikawa not to leave, to please tell him about what it's like to play, what position he plays, how he plays. The admiration in his voice makes Kageyama bristle.

"I'm sorry, Shou-chan, I have to go-" Oikawa is soaking it up like sunshine, reluctant to leave but looking happier than they've ever seen him, because just as he has his charismatic charm, Hinata has his own effulgent allure that pulls others towards him, like planets to a sun. It's the same pull that made Kageyama stay by his side all these years, and judging by the smile on his face, Oikawa is being pulled in too, slow and sure.

"Then come back whenever, I'm not going anywhere anyways!"

The older boy gives him one last parting wave and runs onto the sidewalk, into the distance.

 

"Oikawa Tooru," Hinata says later on, tasting the name. "I like him."

 _Of course you do_ , Kageyama thinks, annoyed. _You like everyone, but he's an ass_. His fingers rake absentmindedly through the sparse glossy feathers on his arms, a bit more forceful than necessary.

"I wonder why he was so sad," Hinata continues, and his voice is thoughtful. "He really doesn't seem like the kind of person to be sad all the time, does he?"

Kageyama doesn't know, doesn't really care. What he does know is that Oikawa Tooru is a storm - beautiful from a distance, but dangerous and destructive - the kind of storm that can tear his carefully tended universe into shreds.

 

Oikawa comes the next day, and the next, and the next, until he's a regular guest at the house. At first, he often comes by with a pretty girl, who'll more likely than not fawn over Hinata for a few minutes like he's a child, and then start dropping hints that they want to be somewhere else. Later on, the brown-haired boy begins to come alone, hours' worth of volleyball recordings in hand, and Hinata becomes _ecstatic_. Oikawa wants to be part of Hinata's world, Kageyama can tell, wants the promising brilliance of the sun.  And he knows exactly how to get it: within weeks he's charmed the socks off the whole family, with little gifts and dazzling smiles and sweet, sweet words. Even Natsu adores him, puts colourful bows in the wisps of his cloudy chestnut hair whenever he's not looking.

It annoys Kageyama to no end - the easy way he worms himself into Hinata's life like he's been there forever, when he hasn't, he really hasn't. The annoyance builds up over time, accumulates in his veins in little sandy grains that clump together, forming something much more potent that slowly scrapes him raw from the inside. Sometimes, Kageyama wonders what he's done, if there's something wrong with him, because Oikawa is clearly loved and adored by so many, but there's something about the terrifyingly lovely boy that makes it impossible for Kageyama to feel anything towards him but wariness and deep dislike. Because he knows - he's always known that he's on the outside, looking in at the beautiful little world that is Hinata's, but when Oikawa is there, vibrant laugh ringing through the house, he _feels_ it. Because just as Yachi brought the two of them together, Oikawa does his utmost to keep them apart.

 

"Why?" Kageyama asks him one day when they are alone on the steps, waiting for Hinata to come home from a doctor's appointment.

The other boy barely flicks him a glance, preferring to flip through the pages of a worn book. "Why what?"

"Why do you hate me?" It's the right word to use, Kageyama supposes, for all the barbed words and contempt-filled almost-glares and fake smiles that have been thrown at him over the course of a month. 

Oikawa doesn't even look up, doesn't try to deny it. "Because," he says, smoothing out a wrinkled page.

Kageyama can feel his anger rising up his throat, salty and hot, but he forces it down. "That's not a proper answer. Give me a reason."

The long-lashed eyes look up from the book, finding Kageyama's. As usual, they're dark with the hardness reserved especially for him. "Because you're selfish. You're selfish and you're stupid and I wish you would leave."

It stings a bit, but it's Oikawa talking - he doesn't expect less. He's more confused than hurt. "What are you talking about?"

The brown-haired boy scoffs, looking back at his book. "That's exactly what I mean."

Kageyama doesn't understand, but Oikawa doesn't look like he's going to speak to him again anytime soon, and in a few minutes, Hinata's car rolls into the driveway. He and his parents shower Oikawa with affectionate greetings, and Oikawa picks him up gently in his arms as the smaller boy laughs, carries him into the house where they'll talk about volleyball animatedly for hours over homework and tea, while Kageyama stays beside them silently.

And like he's done so many times since Oikawa blew into Hinata's life, he'll watch them from the outside.

Always from the outside.

 

"Suga," Kageyama says suddenly, a few nights later, "Do you know somebody called Oikawa Tooru?"

The other boy blinks. He's lying on Daichi, head on the dark-haired boy's chest while Daichi glares at Tanaka for trying to sneak-tackle someone, probably Asahi.

"Oikawa Tooru?" Suga echoes. "Isn't that the boy with the eyes in this neighbourhood? The pretty one?"

"You're prettier," Kageyama says bluntly.

"Thank you, Kageyama," Suga says, grinning. "So you know him? Is he your friend?"

Kageyama shudders. " _No_. Friend of a friend… maybe?"

"What about him?" Suga asks.

"He hates me," Kageyama says. "And I think I might hate him, but I don't know why. So what do you think of him?"

The silver-haired boy shifts, prompting Daichi to wrap an arm around him supportively all the while maintaining an impressive glare at the unruly offenders. He frowns a bit in thought. "He's fairly young, isn't he? I think we all talked to him at one point when he was a child, made sure he knew that he wasn't crazy."

"I don’t remember," Kageyama says. "What was he like? As a kid?"

"Pretty cute," Suga admits. "He thought we were aliens. I think I talked to him a couple times, actually. Don't see him that much these days."

"Aliens?" Noya sneaks up behind them, making Kageyama jump. "Who are we talking about?"

"Probably that Tooru kid," Tanaka says, lingering at a careful distance from Daichi.

"He really was pretty cute," Noya says, almost a bit wistfully. "Too bad."

"Yeah," Tanaka agrees. "Too bad he aged like milk."

Kageyama perks up. It's wonderfully refreshing to hear Oikawa insulted for a change.

Daichi scoffs. "You're just jealous he gets more girls in his sixteen years of life than any of you do in your entire existence. He turned out alright."

Tanaka and Noya both look sorely wounded.

"I don't need _girls_ ," Noya proclaims. "I've got Asahi."

"I need girls," Tanaka says. "But for real though, that guy isn't as perfect as he looks. He's got some weird backstory or something."

Suga laughs. "I don't think we can believe your hot gossip anymore, not after you told us that Yamaguchi was _engaged_ _to someone_ last year."

There's a giggle from somewhere to their left.

"That guy flew in and gave him a ring! What the hell was I supposed to think?" Tanaka protests.

Kageyama sniggers at the memory. "Tsukishima almost cried."

" _Shut_ _up_ ," comes a different, very unamused voice, also to their left.

"You were saying?" Noya prompts Tanaka. "Give me all the dirt on Mr. I'm Pretty And I See Dead People."

Daichi rolls his eyes. "You guys are terrible."

"Anyways," Tanaka says, in a conspiratorial whisper, "I heard that he has some intense history with some guy from another flock, you know. I think they didn't see eye-to-eye or something? And then that Oikawa kid messed with that crowkid so badly that he left the area."

Suga is laughing. "Thank you for your extremely reliable narrative, Tanaka."

Tanaka huffs. "I heard it from Ennoshita."

"Who probably heard it from Futakachi," Noya says.

"Are they a _thing_ now?" Tanaka asks. "Maybe we can finally discover a way to embarrass him."

"Let's find out," Noya says, grinning, and they scramble away to where their target lies alone on the grass.

Daichi sighs before closing his eyes, muttering something that sounded vaguely like _I'm sorry, Ennoshita._

Suga turns to Kageyama. "Well, there's some gossip that you didn't ask for. But to answer your question, I think he's alright. He hasn't done anything to us, and Tanaka's story is most likely just a rumour."

"Oh," Kageyama says, a bit disappointed.

"But I think I can understand why you wouldn't like someone like him," Suga says. "It's probably just both your personalities. They're not meant to get along, I don't think."

"Our personalities," Kageyama echoes. "I guess." It's probably true, but that's not a reason to hate each other, is it?

"Yeah," Suga says. "You could just avoid him, if it gets to be too much. Or if you don't want to, you can just wait it out." He shrugs. "Eighty or ninety years - he'll be gone before you know it."

Kageyama knows that Suga's just trying to reassure him, but he thinks of Hinata, who probably won't even live past twenty, and he shivers. "Okay."

"Hey," Suga says, concerned. "You alright?"

"Yeah," Kageyama says, getting to his feet.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm gonna go look for Shimizu," he answers.

Daichi and Suga glance at each other, so quickly that he almost misses it.

"Okay," Suga says. "See you. Be careful."

"I will," Kageyama says, and in moments he's left them behind on the ground.

He finds nothing but the wind that night.

 

Hinata is _not_ a very perceptive person.

Kageyama knows this from all the years he's been beside the orange-haired boy. It's extremely obvious. Hinata is many things, but _perceptive_ is not one of them. Most of the time he's amazingly oblivious to anything not visible on the surface, feelings included.

So it's really quite strange, how he's able to read Oikawa like a book. As if on instinct, he can tell the older boy's fake smiles from the real, can tell when he's had a rough day and is trying to keep everything inside, and most importantly, he knows what to _do_. Kageyama doesn't understand at first how Hinata does it. It's only later that month, when the brown-haired boy's knee gives out and he's so miserable he almost limps past Hinata's house without acknowledging him like the first day they met, when Kageyama understands.

"You're not allowed to ignore me, you idiot!" Hinata calls out to him fiercely, and Kageyama is worried that he's going to get up and pull some stupid stunt like last time, but instead he takes out a loaf of milk bread seemingly from nowhere and hurls it with surprising force and accuracy at Oikawa's head.

It hits him on the side of his face and falls to the pavement with a soft thud. Oikawa freezes, blinks, then turns to look at Hinata, then the milk bread on the ground, then to Hinata again, his expression unreadable. He bends down to pick the package of bread off the ground, then limps steadily towards the front steps, face still indecipherable. Kageyama stiffens and moves closer to the orange-haired boy, prepares for the worst.

Before he can even react, Oikawa flings himself towards Hinata, and it takes Kageyama a second to realize that he's wrapping his arms around the smaller boy in an embrace. The milk bread falls unceremoniously onto the ground and Oikawa is laughing and tearing up all at once, hands fisting in the material of Hinata's shirt, and Hinata's laughing too, with tears in his eyes, holding the other boy close. It looks like it's an awkward hug, what with Hinata being in a wheelchair and Oikawa being so tall, but they stay like that for a long time.

When they do come apart, Oikawa falls into a half-kneeling position, careful not to put too much pressure on his bad leg, clasping Hinata's hands in his. He looks up at the other boy with shining, honest eyes, and he's smiling.

"Shou-chan," he whispers, almost hoarsely. "Where have you _been_ all my life?"

"In a wheelchair," Hinata chirps, and they laugh like they're never going to stop.

Kageyama doesn't realize until later that he's ripped out a handful of feathers from his skin by accident.

 

It comes down to this: Hinata and Oikawa perfect for each other. They are wonderfully attuned, wonderfully in sync. It took a while for Kageyama to understand, but now it's clear and obvious and in his face.

It hurts like hell and he hates it. It's like he's watching a game, not playing in it, but knowing he's already lost. Even Hinata, pouring out his stories to Kageyama when they're alone doesn't help, and every time he says the name Oikawa with a smile on his face, the sharp stones inside his veins scrape his flesh like they're trying to get out. He wants to leave, to never see the two of them again. But Hinata has him too tightly in his grip, luring him into a fiery, beautiful end with everything he does. He's hurting Kageyama more than Kageyama has ever been hurt in his life and he doesn't know it, because Hinata Shouyou is many things but perceptive is not one of them.

 

After the milk bread incident, there's a slight shift in the way Oikawa acts. It's almost imperceptible to Kageyama, and for some reason Hinata doesn't notice it, but it's there. It's in the way he seems to be touching Hinata more often than not, nothing invasive, just light touches of slender fingers on sunset hair or pressing close to him while watching volleyball videos, which is the first thing Kageyama notices. There's also the way he seems to be at a loss for words at times, as well as a rarely-seen tenderness that seeps into his gaze whenever he thinks others aren't looking, just tiny little changes that Kageyama would miss if he blinked.

And then one evening, Hinata falls asleep while watching a particularly long documentary on possible Martian life, and Oikawa picks him up gently from his chair and places him on the bed, his eyes so focused on the sleeping boy in front of him it's as if Kageyama doesn't exist at all. Hinata's sweat-slicked orange hair sticks to his forehead in endearing orange-gold curls, and the older boy brushes them carefully away from his eyes.

Kageyama squints at Oikawa's expression, which is strangely familiar - it reminds him a bit of himself when Hinata is involved, all affection and adoration and reluctant fondness and - _oh._

" _Oh_ ," he breathes, finally understanding, and Oikawa jolts suddenly out of his reverie to look away from Hinata and at Kageyama instead. Their eyes meet, and the brown-haired boy's lips quirk upwards slightly into a bitter, challenging smile.

 

The confessions come no later than a week afterwards, the only problem being that Hinata doesn't actually know they're confessions. Kageyama has never been so grateful for Hinata's ignorance towards the functions of feelings. It's unspeakably amusing to watch Oikawa pluck up his courage to say "I like you," only for Hinata to say "I like you too," with an earnestly wide smile and no idea what the other boy actually means. It happens twice, and Kageyama enjoys every second of the brown-haired boy's frustration and nervousness. At this point, he's ready to take the smallest victories anything can offer him.

However, the third time Oikawa confesses, Kageyama can tell that something's different. Perhaps Oikawa's been pushed to desperation, he doesn't know. But instead of the usual amusement at Hinata's wide-eyed, slightly confused, "I like you too, Oikawa," he feels a tingle of dread. There's something in the way that the older boy looks, wide-eyed and almost panicked, that says he's not going to stop there.

"No," Oikawa says, slowly. "I _like_ you."

"I know," Hinata says, looking up at him, a frown of concern on his face. "You just told me."

"Oh, for _fuck's_ sake," Oikawa says, exasperated, and promptly reaches out to cradle Hinata's face in his hand and press a kiss on his cheek.

Kageyama feels like his heart is being picked apart, because it all feels so _wrong_ , and he doesn't know whether to scream or cry. _Don’t touch him_ , he thinks, again and again and again. _Don't touch him, don't touch him, don't touch him, he's not yours, he's mine-_

Oikawa pulls back from Hinata, but keeps his hand on his face. "I like you," he repeats.

Hinata is gazing at Oikawa with wide brown eyes like he's seeing him for the first time, surprise and confusion etched into his expression. He doesn't speak at first, and Kageyama can feel the charge in the air, in the silence.

"I'm sorry," Hinata finally says, and his voice is small and soft. "I do like you, Oikawa, I like you a lot, but not in that way." He places his own small hand on Oikawa's, moves it away from his face.

The older boy looks broken, and through Kageyama's sheer relief, he feels a bit of sympathy for him.

"Why?" Oikawa asks, almost wretchedly. A tear slides down his face. "Am I doing something wrong? Tell me, Shou-chan. I'll fix it."

"No, no," Hinata says fiercely. "You did nothing wrong. You're wonderful, you're one of my best friends-"

"Then _why_?" Oikawa's voice breaks a little. "Is it because we're both boys?"

"Of course not," Hinata says, and he's tearing up a bit too, even as he reaches out to wipe Oikawa's tears from his face. "Please don't cry, Oikawa, please don’t cry."

"There's someone else," the brown-haired boy says miserably. "Isn't there?"

"Yeah," Hinata whispers, after a moment. "There's been someone else for a long time." And then, "I'm sorry."

Oikawa's face is a mixture of despair and anger and hopelessness, and it occurs to Kageyama that this is not the first time his heart has been broken. The other boy finds his eyes, and there is so much loathing in his stormy gaze that he almost flinches.

"Not your fault," Oikawa says softly to Hinata. There's a shaky smile on his face when he turns back to look at him, threatening to fall apart at the edges. "I-I think that I should go home now."

"Okay," Hinata says. "Okay."

He helps Oikawa gather his things and watches him leave. But before he steps out the bedroom door, the brown-haired boy turns around, looks at Hinata with a gaze that's almost impossibly intense.

"I'll always be waiting, Shou-chan," he says quietly. "If you change your mind."

Then he's gone, closing the door gently behind him.

Hinata makes sure that he's definitely gone before he collapses onto his bed and buries his face in his pillow.

"I didn't want to hurt him, Kageyama," he says, and his muffled voice is miserable. "I never wanted to hurt him. But I couldn't lie." He begins to cry, softly at first, and then more desperately.

Kageyama comes into existence in a swirl of black feathers, presses his downy warmth to Hinata's shivering body, who holds him close to his chest. He should feel triumphant, he knows, because he's weathered the storm and made it through, but right now all he can feel is his dearest friend shaking like a leaf in the wind.


	6. wings

The air is thin and clear in Kageyama's lungs, and his wings cut through it with a practiced ease. He doesn't think he's ever been here before in his entire existence, or maybe it's been so long ago he's forgotten. It's a majestic mountain, beautiful in its bleakness, seemingly lifeless and stony with snow dusting the sharp gray rocks near the summit. The breeze is cold, almost frigid, but Kageyama doesn't mind it - there isn't much to mind when it's harmless.

He's almost certain that Shimizu is here somewhere: he's seen a suspiciously humanoid shape from a distance among the sparse, mountainous foliage, seen what seems like is her crow body, small but quick, darting through the sky. So Kageyama lingers there for a few days, quiet and unobtrusive, waiting patiently on a precipice. It's a wonderfully tranquil place that's hidden away from the majority of life, with only the music of the wind to keep him company. The old Kageyama would have loved it, all peace and solitude and stillness. But at the moment, he can't help but think that it's almost a bit sad in its isolation, with no words or laughter ringing through the air.

He doesn't realize that he's fallen asleep, back pressed against a smooth rock, until someone rouses him with a soft calling of his name.

"Kageyama?" The voice is familiar, quiet.

He opens his eyes slowly, blinking several times before seeing a blurry face hovering in front of him. Rubbing his eyes, Kageyama blinks again, waits for his vision to focus. And for the first time in months, he sees Shimizu, and memories of Yachi come flooding back like an overflowing river. He has to take a couple of deep breaths to keep them from spilling out from his eyes.

"What are you doing here?" Shimizu asks, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

She's still strikingly pretty, with her raven hair and eyes so full of lustre that Kageyama can see the night sky reflected in them, but there's something a bit _off_ , something different that he can't quite place his finger on.

"Yachi told me to keep an eye on you," Kageyama says, after a moment. It's a bit strange to talk to someone who's gone missing for months like everything's normal.

Shimizu gives a barely visible shiver at the mention of Yachi's name. "Of course she did," she says, and her face is unreadable. "Well, I'm here."

"Yeah," says Kageyama, and they look at each other awkwardly, like _now what_? Because Kageyama's been looking for her for so long, he hasn't given any thought to what he was actually going to do when they were reunited. "So, um, are you alright?"

Shimizu shrugs. "Are you?"

"I guess," he says.

"That's good, then," she says, and stands up, offering a hand to him. "Do you want to take a walk?"

 

She's been moving around a lot, which is why nobody was able to find her. The mountain is the place she's stayed at the longest, almost a month, just flying and not doing anything in particular. _And grieving_ , Kageyama knows, but doesn't say it. They talk about trivial things and eventually fall into an amicable silence, stepping lightly over gray rock. He pauses and looks out into the star-swathed night - there aren't as many stars at home - and sighs.

Shimizu stops beside him. "It's nice, isn't it?"

"Pretty," Kageyama agrees. He turns to look at her. "But aren't you lonely out here? Everyone misses you at home, you know."

"I am lonely," Shimizu admits. "But I don't think I'd be any less lonelier at home."

"I don't think I understand," says Kageyama.

"I didn't expect you to," says Shimizu. "Not yet." She sits down on the ledge, hugging her knees to her chest. After a moment, Kageyama joins her, and they gaze out at the millions of little lights burning coldly in the sky.

"I missed you," he says finally. "You were right, they all don't understand."

She nods. "Have you talked to Tsukishima?"

" _Ugh_ , no," Kageyama says, rolling his eyes, and Shimizu smiles. It's the first time she's smiled that day.

"How's Shouyou?" she asks, almost cautiously, and Kageyama launches into a narrative of everything they've gone through while she's been away, Oikawa included. When he's done, she looks sad. Hinata, Oikawa, the life back home all probably remind her of Yachi.

"Are you planning to just keep waiting?" she asks him.

"Not much I can do," he answers.

"No," she agrees. "There really isn't." They fall into silence again, and Kageyama lies down on his back. It really is beautiful.

He's almost asleep again when Shimizu speaks, soft but clear. "Do you ever wonder what the universe was thinking when it made us?"

"Not really," Kageyama admits. "But it probably wasn't thinking that much."

"Yeah," she says, giving a small laugh. "It seemed nice enough, at the beginning. Lose a life, get another, and a pair of wings too. Eight years on earth wasn't enough? Here, stay forever." She laughs again, but it's closer to sadness than humour.

Kageyama doesn't speak. He doesn't have to.

"But what if I don't want to stay forever?" she says. "What if I want to go to the place in the sky just like everyone else?" The question hangs in the air like a cloud.

"I guess there's nothing to be done, then," he murmurs.

"There isn't," Shimizu says. "Because the universe doesn't care." Kageyama doesn't know what to say to that, so he doesn't say anything.

Later, he hears Shimizu speak again. "You know," she says quietly, "In all the years I've been here, she was the first person I really loved."

He doesn't have to ask who she's talking about. "I know," is all he says.

"It still hurts so much." Her voice is a whisper.

"I know," he says again. "I can tell."

 

"I have to go now," he says, early in the morning.

"Oh," Shimizu says, and she's trying to look disappointed but he can hear the note of relief in her voice. Coming to visit her probably hurt her with all their shared memories. But at least he's fulfilled his promise, if only a little bit. "Okay."

"Are you ever coming back?" he asks.

"I think so," she answers. "I just need some more time. Alone."

"Stay safe," he tells her.

"What for?" she asks, smiling sadly, and Kageyama doesn't have an answer. So he just stands there, feeling a bit awkward to walk or fly away without doing anything. As if she senses his discomfort, she offers him her hand, and they shake. It's a strange farewell, to be sure, but they've never been a very ordinary duo. 

When he lets go of her hand, a handful of glossy black feathers begin to float lazily to the ground, and he recoils, shocked. They're not his, he realizes a second later, way too blue-tinted in the sunlight to belong to him. And then it hits him: _that's_ why Shimizu looks different, her feathers are sparse on her skin, too sparse.

"Shimizu-"

Kageyama doesn't know what it means, but he knows it's nothing good. The girl's eyes are sad, sadder than he's ever seen them, and he realizes that she knows it too.

"It's okay," she tells him, hiding her too-bare hands almost apologetically behind her back. "Tell everyone I'm sorry, alright?" And with that, she turns and walks away.

"I'm going to tell Daichi and Suga where you are," Kageyama calls out to her retreating figure, his voice loud in the stillness of the mountain. She gives no sign that she's heard and eventually disappears under a crevice, leaving no evidence that she was ever there except for a downy blue-black feather caught on the sharp edge of a stone.

 

Daichi doesn't seem surprised when Kageyama tells him about Shimizu; on the contrary he looks resigned.

"Her feathers are _falling off_ ," Kageyama tells him. "Shouldn't we try to help her or something?"

The other boy sighs. "How? There's nothing we can do." He runs a hand through his short dark hair. "And she wants to be alone, she's made that very clear."

"Being alone is probably what caused this in the first place," Kageyama says. "She needs us."

Daichi's eyes are kind as he reaches out to steady him. "It's just a small heartbreak," he tells Kageyama reassuringly. "She just needs time, and she'll be okay."

Kageyama thinks of the way Shimizu used to look at Yachi, like she held the world in her eyes. _There are no such things as small heartbreaks._

"I guess you're right," he hears himself say. There's no point in arguing.

Daichi smiles, ruffles Kageyama's hair like a proud parent. "Don't worry about her," he says. "Worry about yourself. You look old enough to have some fun now, so why don't you?"

Kageyama blinks, suspicious. "What kind of fun?"

"You know," Daichi says. "Mingling and stuff? There are a couple of flocks that pass through every so often."

"Oh," says Kageyama, a bit embarrassed. "I'm not that- well, I just don't feel like doing that kind of stuff right now."

"Suit yourself." The other boy shrugs. "But still, it wouldn't hurt to have a fling or two. Give it a try, if you're curious. We're gonna be here forever, anyways - might as well find someone to spend it with." Then he grins, and it's a bit unnerving. "Iwaizumi's probably passing by in a couple weeks-"

" _Thank you_ , Daichi," Kageyama says, getting up to leave. It's been forever since his puppy crush, not that anyone ever seems to want to let it go. He's barely thought of it lately, ever since he met Hinata. "But I think I'll pass for now."

"Where are you going?" Daichi asks.

"Flying." _To Hinata's._ He waits expectantly for the other boy's approval.

 "Okay," says Daichi, and Kageyama bursts into the sky almost immediately. He can hear a shout from the surface: "Be back before the moon's up!"

 

Oikawa still comes to visit pretty often, acting like nothing has happened, but puts a respectful distance between him and Hinata, which Kageyama is thankful for. And even though Hinata can see right through Oikawa's pretend - they are still on the same wavelength, after all - he's at a loss to what to do. So Kageyama sees him play along, responding to fake smiles with fake smiles of his own, but he doesn't miss the way Hinata swallows nervously when he senses Oikawa looking at him for too long. It's straining both of them, this fake normalcy, and Kageyama can tell at once that it won't last.

They manage a few weeks of peace and pretense, sleepy spring-summer days where Hinata sleepily murmurs his stories to Kageyama for hours on end, and Kageyama drinks in every minute of it - since they met Oikawa, he's barely had any opportunity to properly enjoy something like this, and ends up going home late almost every night.

"You're serious?" Daichi says to him one night, when it's closer to sunrise than nightfall, eyebrow quirked.

"Sorry," Kageyama mutters, wary of the other boy's intimidating gaze.

"I thought you weren't interested in having fun."

Kageyama winces. "I'm not. Having fun."

To his relief but embarrassment, Daichi just looks amused. "Look," he says. "I'm not Suga, so you don't have to tell me everything, but I'm just saying, it's okay. It's all okay."

"Thanks, I guess," Kageyama says awkwardly, not really getting what the other boy is implying.

"As long as you know that," Daichi says, and leaves him alone after a knowing smile.

But the period of late nights and whispers and muted Oikawa is cut short, just like he predicted. It happens when the brown-haired boy is tickling Hinata like he often does, and Hinata is laughing so hard he curls up into a ball of mirth on the bed. But then Oikawa leans forward, so that their faces are close, too close, and moves both his hands to cup Hinata's small face, Kageyama's heart clenching.

Hinata stops laughing almost immediately, eyes widening in nervousness. Oikawa's just looking at him, looking at him, and breathing heavy.

"Shou-chan-" he whispers, and tilts his face closer to Hinata's.

The younger boy looks frozen, frightened, and it's enough to bring Kageyama out of his stupor.

"Don't," he snarls, and Oikawa whips around to glare at him, but he's done enough damage - Hinata frees himself from the older boy's hands and backs up to the wall, where he sits, tears welling in his eyes.

"Didn't anyone ever teach you-" Oikawa's voice is shaking with fury, and his eyes are narrowed until they are nothing but flinty brown slits, piercing Kageyama like glass. "- _to mind your own business, you little bastard_?"

Kageyama wills his gaze and voice to be steady. " _Look_ at him!" he hisses. "Can't you tell he doesn't want to?"

And Oikawa does, his eyes finding Hinata, scared and sad against the wall, almost shaking. Something in the older boy's face crumples, and he makes a move as if to reach out and reassure Hinata, but after a second's thought lets his hand fall to his side instead.

"I'm sorry, Shou-chan," he finally says to Hinata, impossibly gentle. "I really am. It won't happen again, okay?" His eyes are wide and pleading. "Just tell me that we're going to be alright, Shou-chan. I won't ask for anything more than friends ever again."

Hinata doesn't say anything, just gazes back with tears in his eyes, and Kageyama's heart aches for him. Because Hinata's the boy who cries for strangers on the sidewalk, the rare kind of boy that would rather be hurt a million times over than hurt someone else, but here he is, breaking his friend's heart and being unable to do anything about it.

"Just tell me - one word, Shou-chan," Oikawa is saying, sounding almost desperate. "One word-"

"Shouyou!" A voice cuts through the almost-silence, making them jump. "Get ready! It's time to go!"

Hinata is still silent. Oikawa clenches his eyes shut for a second, and then quietly stands up and helps Hinata into his wheelchair. He pushes him outside and down the front steps, the sound of wheels on pavement strangely loud. The car is waiting for him outside, and Kageyama, trailing behind them, can see the darkened shapes of Natsu and Hinata's mother inside. _Another hospital visit, then._

Hinata's father steps in and takes Oikawa's place, thanking the other boy for his help and oblivious to the strained atmosphere. Just as he's being pushed away, Hinata turns around, still teary-eyed, and finally speaks.

"Oikawa-"

His eyes say a thousand times more than his words, and Oikawa watches the car drive away, engine purring, before walking up the front steps and sliding down the wall miserably, then buries his face in his hands in either relief or despair, maybe both. For some strange reason, Kageyama can't find it in him to leave him there alone, broken and sad; he wants to reach out to him, comfort him like Hinata would. It's a mistake he'll regret later.

"I'm sorry," he manages to say after a few minutes.

There's a strange noise coming from behind Oikawa, muffled slightly by his strong, long-fingered hands. "You're _sorry_?" His voice sounds twisted, mangled, and Kageyama realizes that he's crying.

"Yeah, I-"

" _Good_ ," Oikawa snarls, letting his hands drop and fixing Kageyama with an icy glare that pins him to the spot. His face is contorted. "Because it's all _your fault_."

Kageyama takes an unconscious step backwards. This is not what he was expecting. "I- I don't understand-"

" _Of course you don't_ ," Oikawa hisses. " _Hundreds_ of years old, living for no one but yourself, how _would_ you understand?" He's standing now, barely taller than Kageyama but towering over him, "You think you're doing him a favour by having feelings for him? By letting him have feelings for you? _You_?"

"I don't-" Kageyama says, shocked, taking another step backwards as Oikawa takes one forwards. "I-I don't, really-"

" _Don't_ try to lie to me," the other boy sneers. "You might as well _not exist_ , for all it matters, but he likes you, God knows why, because _I_ certainly don't. And then what? You see him for a day or two when he's dying, mess around a bit, and then never see each other again? You're _wasting_  his precious little life, Tobio-chan, you stupid, selfish birdboy, and in the end you'll forget about him in about a hundred years - so _why are you even here_?"

Kageyama feels defenseless as Oikawa hurls sharp, painful words at him, pinned in place by the terrible brown eyes. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, because he can see the truth behind the other boy's anger, and that cuts him more than his insults.

"I might not be what he wants," Oikawa continues, all rage and despair and tears, "But at least he can see me and hear me and touch me - and I like him so much; I'd like him more if he let me. I can give him what he needs. What can _you_ give? Huh, Tobio? You don't even belong in his life. What could _you_ possibly give him?"

Kageyama's back has ended up pressed against the wall, the surface rough through his shirt. Oikawa glares down at him, almost crazed, face inches away from his own.

"I hate you," Oikawa breathes. "God, I hate you."

Kageyama musters his courage, doesn't look away. "Did you hate the other crowchild too?" he asks. His voice is surprisingly steady. "So much that you drove him out? Because that's what you're trying to do right now, isn't it? Drive me out?"

Oikawa recoils. He looks like he's been slapped, and Kageyama knows for sure that Tanaka's story was no mere rumour. The brown-haired boy closes his eyes, and when he opens them they are cold and furious. "You have _no idea_ ," he says through gritted teeth. " _No idea_ what happened. He's the damned bastard that taught me all of this in the first place."

Kageyama's eyes widen at the implications of what he's saying. "What do you mean?"

A mixture of agony and contempt and dejection flit across Oikawa's face, and he turns away from him. "I hate you," he says again. "Leave." Kageyama stares at him, stunned and afraid. "Just _leave_."

And then he's gone, running down the road but he doesn't know why he's running, with no destination in his head except away. His body hurts with every stride, and he can imagine black-blue bruises left on his skin from the brutal truth of Oikawa's words, hidden under patches of shimmering dark feathers. There's something warm and wet on his face, trickling down his cheek like a miniscule river. Kageyama realizes dimly that it's raining.

_It's just rain. Just rain._

But it keeps coming down, with sky-splitting sounds of thunder and occasional blinding lightning, a true summer storm, heavier and heavier until he's soaked to the bone, and all he can see is gray, gray, gray. Kageyama runs until he can't run anymore, falling to the ground and curling up small and shivering under an immense, dripping tree.

It's the same place Sugawara finds him the next morning.

 

Oikawa's words stay lodged somewhere deep inside him for days, painful and destructive but _true_ , and that's what hurts the most. He has been selfish, hasn't given a second thought to what Hinata needs in his life, probably because he knew in his heart of hearts, that as a sometimes-tangible grim reaper, he is not very high on the list.

"He doesn't need me," he whispers dully to himself, and the words scrape coming out. Kageyama puts his head in his hands. Vaguely, he wonders how many hours of being with his other friends Hinata has missed because he opted to talk to a bird. _It took me five years to realize. I really am stupid._

Hinata needs someone warm and real and alive, someone who can talk back to him during conversations and hold him at night when he cries, someone who won't forget him after a hundred years, someone who'll join him in the city in the sky when everything is said and done.

 

Kageyama doesn't visit Hinata the next day, or even once that week. His days pass in a swirl of glossy blacks and muted grays, but not a single hint of vibrant orange. They're the same kind of days he used to live through before all this, peaceful and placid, but they're not enough anymore, too empty. _Hinata's really done a number on me, hasn't he,_ he thinks despairingly.

The earth turns relentlessly, time dragging the sun up and then pulling it below the horizon, and Kageyama keeps to himself, working and flying. _I'll visit him tomorrow,_  he thinks, again and again, but tomorrow becomes today and he's thousands of miles away, as far as his wings can take him. Vaguely, he wonders if Hinata's with his other friends more often now, and clenches his teeth when he thinks of Oikawa.

_It could be worse_ , he hears a voice in his head tell him, over and over. Suga is a wonderful comfort, reliable and soothing, always at his back. He is safe and cared for in his flock - he should be content, and yet.

_Being away isn't that bad_ , he lies to himself. _Not at all._

_It's easy._

He doesn't know how wrong he is.

 

It's a strangely cool day in the height of summer, the sun just beginning to peek over the horizon and tinting everything a muted gold. Kageyama can feel the breeze run its gentle fingers through his feathers as he's on his way back from the city in the sky. The air is delicious, invigorating, and for the first time in weeks he feels himself letting go, allowing the muddled thoughts and emotions be swept away by the rush of the wind, if only momentarily. He flies in a graceful arc, flitting on the edge of the sky with his wingtip tracing the now-glowing horizon, eyes closing in bliss-

Something large and solid barrels into him, and he barely has time to register _wings, big, another bird_ \- before the offending creature lets out an undignified squawk, scrabbling desperately at Kageyama's claws for something to grasp due to the sudden imbalance. Their feet connect, tangle together, and Kageyama's eyes open, seeing familiar golden-white plumage before he's knocked upside down and realizes he has other things to worry about at the moment. They plummet, spinning almost wildly towards the rapidly nearing sidewalk, a feathery, panicked mess. Instinctively, Kageyama moults his feathers, leaving them swirling black and thick in the sky and lands inelegantly on his stomach, winded but unhurt. Beside him lies an all-too-familiar blonde, wincing in a sitting position and groggily looking around for his glasses which are a few feet behind him. Behind the other boy is presumably a soul, curled up in a fetal position and mumbling something incoherent.

Kageyama huffs. Trust Tsukishima to ruin his morning. He gingerly picks up the black-rimmed glasses, shoves it in front of the taller boy's face. "Here."

The blonde snatches them out of his hand and puts them on, blinking a bit. "Ugh," he mutters, taking in Kageyama. "It's _you_."

"Says the guy who knocked me out of the sky," Kageyama shoots back.

"Says the guy who flies with his eyes closed," Tsukishima snaps.

"You should've seen me coming anyways!"

"I was in a hurry, okay? Do you know how _long_ it took me to calm this guy down?" He gestures to the unconscious form on the ground. His voice drips with annoyance. "And now I have to do it again. What a _pain_."

"You literally have one job," Kageyama tells him. "How lazy are you?" Then he frowns, looks around. "Where's Yamaguchi today?"

Tsukishima blinks at the change of subject. "I don't know." He sounds disgruntled.

"Did you fight or something?" Kageyama asks, curious. The blonde glares at him. "That's why you were distracted while flying, right?"

"None of your business, King," Tsukishima says icily. "And _no_." He stands up, dusting himself off and plucking a stray pearly feather from his arm. Kageyama looks wistfully skyward, at the now too-bright blue, all the wonderful dawn air gone to waste.

"I'm gonna go," he says.

"You do that," mutters Tsukishima, and turns away from him to gently shake the soul on the ground.

Kageyama stands, takes a few steps away from the other boy. He can hear Tsukishima talking in his strangely soothing voice reserved for souls, almost melodious, so different from the bored, flat tone used for those close to him.

"Shhh," the blonde is murmuring softly. "Just relax, it's time for you to go-"

Then a different voice, high and sweet, cuts through the morning silence, and Kageyama feels himself shiver, feels goosebumps on his skin and a too-quick beat of his heart, because he knows that voice, he's known it for years, and after all he's done to be away, it's chased him by some strange quirk of the universe, wrapping itself around familiar words:

"I don't want to go."

He whips around, and there, in all his glory sits Hinata Shouyou, looking up defiantly at the towering Tsukishima, who has a hand wrapped around his wrist.

"Almost no one does," the blonde boy coos, and Hinata blinks, a bit confused. Tsukishima's dulcet tones have a way of messing with people's heads. "But that's not something you get to choose."

Hinata shakes his head. "No. I'm not going."

"Oh, for goodness' sake," Tsukishima mutters under his breath, and manages to scoop the smaller boy into his arms, feathers beginning to ripple down his skin.

"No, _no_ , I don't want to-" Hinata kicks and struggles, and Kageyama unfreezes.

"Tsukishima, _stop_!" His voice is hoarse with desperation, both of them turning towards him, and the surprised elation that spreads over Hinata's face would be priceless if he weren't so panicked.

"Tobio?" Hinata's voice is bright with relief, brimming with something like affection, and his eyes take in Kageyama almost hungrily.

Tsukishima's eyebrows raise, and his gaze is sharp and questioning, making Kageyama blush a little. "Did he just call you-"

Ignoring the warmth in his cheeks, the dark-haired boy makes his way over to them in a few rushed strides, prying Hinata from the blonde's hold, letting him stand.

" _What_ are you doing?" Tsukishima demands flatly, even though he gives little resistance.

"He said _no_ ," Kageyama hisses, and almost instinctively shields Hinata from the other boy.

"It's not his decision," Tsukishima says. "His body's too weak. He'll be in pain."

"He'll pull through," Kageyama says stubbornly. "He has before."

"Before, huh?" Tsukishima's eyes glint, and Kageyama knows that he's been seen through. "Well, you would know." His voice turns curious, and he tilts his head to get a better look at Hinata. "So this is the reason behind all your late nights."

Kageyama glares at him. "You can go now."

"Relax, King," Tsukishima says, smirking. "I won't touch him." He peers at Hinata, who sticks out his tongue at him. "Cute."

Flushing, Kageyama blocks his view. "Leave."

Tsukishima shrugs. "Fine. Good luck. I hope you have fun."

He can feel Hinata's insistent gaze on him, and he almost splutters at the implications of Tsukishima's comment. "Go make up with Yamaguchi already, you prick."

As always, anything involving the freckled boy is Tsukishima's weak spot. His teasing calmness gives way to a hint of irritation. "Don't tell me what to do," he mutters, and striking gold-white feathers begin to cascade down his body before he launches himself into the air with a few beats of his wings and flies off.

The street goes silent; only the two of them remain, and Kageyama is suddenly afraid to look at the boy on his side. So he doesn't, and mumbles the first thing in his mind.

"Uh," he starts off, licking his lips and looking anywhere but Hinata, "Why are you-"

Hinata doesn't let him finish. There's a strange huffing noise that Kageyama makes when the other boy collides into his stomach and knocks the wind out of him, and he's shocked when he feels himself being wrapped into an embrace. _It's just a hug,_ he tells himself, _just a hug_ , but his body won't listen and he can feel his heart flutter, hummingbird-quick. Hinata has his face buried in Kageyama's chest and Kageyama can feel his soft laughter, can feel his warm breath through the fabric of his shirt when Hinata says his name.

"Kageyama Tobio," the shorter boy chirps, voice a bit muffled. "You idiot."

"Excuse me?" Kageyama says, affronted.

Hinata looks up at him with earnest, joyous brown eyes, and a tingle runs down his spine. "You're supposed to hug people back when they hug you, you know?"

"Shut up," Kageyama mutters, trying to mask the storm of emotions inside of him, and almost gingerly wraps his arms around the other boy, who feels wonderfully warm under his touch, heart still beating wildly. He wonders if Hinata can hear it.

It's been so long since they've held each other like this, so Kageyama closes his eyes and rests his chin on top of Hinata's head, loses himself in the yearned-for contact. To hell with all the _being away_ business, to hell with Oikawa, this is Hinata Shouyou in his arms and he doesn't want to be anywhere else. He breathes in, long and quiet - Hinata's soul smells the same as his body, almost imperceptibly sweet.

They break apart after a few moments, Hinata shifting so that he can get a better look at Kageyama's face. Without warning, he reaches out a tentative hand and runs it down the side it, barely grazing the outside corner of his eye and trailing over his feathered cheekbone. Kageyama stills, a thrill coursing through him. Hinata's smile has disappeared, replaced with an expression on his face that approaches admiration. Their eyes never leave each other's.

But then Hinata's touch reaches his neck and Kageyama jumps, panicked at the jolt that runs through him so suddenly. "What are you-"

Hinata jerks his hand away. "Sorry," he exclaims, blushing a little. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." He smiles again, radiant. "I just haven't seen you for so long! It's nice to know that you're something I can touch."

Kageyama tries to cover up his embarrassment by rolling his eyes. It doesn't work. "Stupid."

Hinata laughs, looks him over. "You really did grow up!"

"And you didn't," Kageyama says dryly, smirking.

" _I'll grow_!" Hinata says indignantly. "And that's rude. You haven't changed at all." He frowns. "Where have you been all this time? You haven't visited in weeks!"

Kageyama shrugs nervously. "I had to… figure something out," he half-lies. "But I'm done now. Never mind that," he says, annoyance creeping into his voice. "What did you do to end up half-dead again? I thought I told you to keep living?"

"It's not like I can help it," Hinata protests. "It was really hot a few days ago, and then I started feeling terrible and coughing up blood, and before I knew it I ended up in the hospital again." He sighs. "And I thought I was getting better, too! But no, I open my eyes and all I see is tall glasses bird-boy telling me I had to go."

"Tsukishima," Kageyama mutters. Then he feels a sudden concern. "How are you feeling? You're staying, right?" He didn't notice before, but Hinata's skin is unnaturally pale.

"Not the best, but better than last time," the other boy says with a grimace. "And yeah, Natsu was making cookies for me, so I have to come back."

"It's good that you've decided," Kageyama says. "So you can just stay like this until your body is strong enough to contain you. But you might have to wait awhile."

"That's fine," Hinata says, bouncing a bit on his toes. "It's pretty fun to be like this, even if it does hurt a bit sometimes. And I can finally talk to you!"

Kageyama ignores the swooping sensation in his stomach at the other boy's blinding smile. "You talk to me all the time," he mutters, hoping his ears aren't too red.

"You know what I mean," Hinata says, still smiling. "We have time to talk _normally_ , and you can actually talk back!"

Kageyama blinks, feeling the impact of the realisation. He has _time_ , quality time to spend with Hinata, his crush of five years. His brain almost short-circuits. It must show, because the orange-haired boy looks a bit concerned. "Are you alright, Tobio?" he asks.

Kageyama feels a stupidly large grin on his face. "You like running, don't you?" he demands suddenly.

Hinata looks down at his legs, slender but strong and reliable. He wiggles his toes, seemingly revelling in his newfound robustness, and smiles. "Yeah!"

"Good," Kageyama says, and instead of taking to the sky like he usually would, he grabs Hinata's hand and begins to run. Hinata gives a little gasp of surprise at first, but then a sweet burst of laughter bubbles its way out of his chest at the exhilaration. Kageyama can't stop smiling.

There is so much he has to show him.

 

They make their first stop at a high school volleyball game between two powerhouse schools. Kageyama and Hinata stand close to the court ("No one's going to see us anyways," Kageyama tells the overly excited boy. "Might as well get a good view.") Hinata watches the players with a mixture of intense admiration and excitement, leaping up at every point just because he can and barraging Kageyama with countless "Did you _see_? _Did you see that_?"s. Kageyama tries to be annoyed, but fails - his happiness and delight are too earnest to tick him off. In the back of his mind, he's fervently thankful that Oikawa isn't part of either team. They should be pretty far away, but there was always the risk.

After the match ends, Hinata is content to sit there on the wooden floor in a slight daze. He probably would be happy to do so for the next few hours, just inhaling the smell of the gymnasium, but Kageyama gently persuades him to leave. They do, but not before the orange-haired boy gives one last loving glance at the net that hasn't been taken down yet. Kageyama gives a little tug at his hand, and then they're off again, bounding over anything in their way, the wind rushing wonderfully. He takes Hinata to the city - the other boy's never been, as it's always been deemed too hazardous for his health. But he's impervious to the emissions and crowds at the moment, and they take advantage of that - running recklessly through packed shopping centres, riding the elevator to the roof of skyscrapers and having Kageyama fly them down. Strangely, however, Hinata's favourite part of it all is the train station.

"The train?" Kageyama asks dubiously. "Sure, but why?"

Hinata shrugs, almost a little shyly, in Kageyama's opinion. But he doesn't push for an answer, and they make their way to the station to wait for the train. It doesn't take long, and soon they step on, unnoticed. Hinata takes a seat at the window and kneels, looking out wide-eyed at the landscape going by, Kageyama beside him.

"I've never been on a train before," he murmurs. Kageyama blinks at him, surprised.

"Not once?" He asks.

"I've never had to," Hinata answers, and he sounds a little sad.

Kageyama feels something prick at his heart. He reaches out and ruffles the silky orange curls, a bit too aggressively. "Idiot." To his horror, his voice sounds almost fond.

"Hey!" Hinata protests, and tries to ward him off.

"We'll ride this train to the end of the line, then," Kageyama says, withdrawing his hand.

Hinata's eyes widen. "Really?"

"If you like," Kageyama answers, a bit gruffly. "And all the way back, if that's what you want." He shrugs. "It's up to you, you know. You're the one with limited time."

"Oooooh!" Hinata exclaims excitedly, leaping up again just as the train lurches forward, unbalancing him and forcing him to tumble back into the seat. Kageyama laughs then, loud and full, at the other boy's offended expression. It's been awhile since that's happened, and he's grateful for it. And Hinata laughs too, after a moment; he's the kind of boy to laugh because someone else does.

 

In the end, they ride the train as far as it goes, getting off near the middle of nowhere.

"Where are we?" Hinata asks, looking around at the rustic homes of what seems to be a small town or village.

"Does it matter?" Kageyama asks. He's excited, way too excited, but there's just so much to see and do with Hinata by his side. "The real question is, where do you want to go?"

Hinata giggles. "I didn't know you had such a great sense of fun, Tobio. I never would have guessed."

"Because you're with me," Kageyama blurts out, before he can stop himself, and then he realizes what he's just said out loud. His cheeks fairly _burn_. "I-I mean-"

"I think I know what you meant," Hinata says, looking at the ground. His face is pink, but he doesn't look unhappy.

"Okay," Kageyama says, and changes the subject before he can reflect more on his mortification. "So where do you want to go? Tell me, and I'll bring you there."

Hinata looks up at him through his lashes, and it should barely be anything, but it's enough to render Kageyama breathless for a moment. "Somewhere pretty," he says finally, a small smile on his face.

Kageyama takes his hand and grins. He's doing a lot of grinning today. "I can do that for you."

 

The sun hangs high and bright in the almost too-blue summer sky as they race each other giddily along the side of dirt roads, veering off into a hidden footpath that leads into the light-dappled woods. Hinata is startlingly competitive, which suits Kageyama just fine. Their bare feet scarcely skim the cool forest ground while they travel, running, always running. Sometimes they stop for short breaks, but before long they're trying to outrun each other again, two exuberant spectral children with nothing on their mind but the forest air and sweet, sweet victory. Hinata is surprisingly nimble, able to leap over large boulders with a single jump, but Kageyama is better at flat out sprinting on level ground, which makes them pretty much even. After a while, the ground begins to slope upwards and the footpath disappears, leaving them to traverse the undergrowth, but they still try to run, which is admittedly not a very good decision on their part.

"Maybe we should just walk," Kageyama says, winded, after they both trip spectacularly on the same tree root. It's probably the third time that at least one of them has ended up face-down on the ground. Hinata lies panting beside him, spread-eagled, chest fluttering.

Hinata turns to look at him, smiling wickedly. "Are you giving up, Tobio? Does that mean I win?"

Kageyama bristles. " _No_." A droplet of sweat glimmers distractingly on Hinata's eyelashes, before the other boy blinks it away.

"I'm just joking," Hinata laughs. "I think we should probably walk, too. How much longer will it take?"

The black-haired boy tries to remember the last time he's been here. "A few hours? Depending on how fast we walk." He squints up towards the leafy canopy that shades them from the full afternoon sun, then suddenly looks back at Hinata. "Are you tired? Do you want me to fly us there?"

Hinata shakes his head. "I want to be on my feet for as long as possible, if that's alright."

"Okay," Kageyama says, and stands up, dusting himself off. He reaches out to Hinata, who takes his hand without hesitation, and helps him to his feet. The air smells uniquely earthy, a soothing sort of scent that is leaves and soil and sky and life all at once. Even though walking isn't as exhilarating as running or flying, they see more: the pretty blue-and-white flowers underfoot, a songbird overhead. Their hands brush as they walk side by side. It's lovely.

"You know," Hinata says eventually, "I'm pretty sure I won that back there."

Kageyama doesn't cast him a sideways glance. "No, you really didn't."

"You're just jealous 'cause you're _slow_ ," Hinata says, sing-song.

Kageyama takes the bait. "Faster than you," he says, and proves his point by dashing away and rounding the bend, leaving Hinata behind. It isn't long before he hears the telltale sounds of Hinata's quick, light footsteps, and the other boy hurls himself at Kageyama in a jaw-dropping bound in an effort to close the distance between them, laughing loud and bright. Kageyama vainly tries to dodge his outstretched hand, but it grasps onto his shirt, pulling him down, and then they're falling, both of them, tumbling over roots and prickly branches, holding onto each other for dear life. Eventually, they come to a stop. The forest floor is cool against Kageyama's back, and there's a strangely solid, warm weight on his chest. He winces and opens his eyes, only to see Hinata's face mere inches away from his own.

The insult he had prepared dies quickly in his mouth, and he swallows. They're close, too close, and all of a sudden he doesn't know how to speak. Hinata has a strange look on his face: his cheeks are dusted with pink, his eyes wide, and his mouth is slightly open. Kageyama is suddenly conscious of every part of them that touches, and he panics.

"Sh-Shouyou-" he stutters, and Hinata blinks, shakes himself, then rolls off of Kageyama onto the ground beside him.

"Sorry," the orange-haired boy says. Kageyama curses himself. They both get up, not looking at each other. "Sorry," Hinata says again. "I'm being weird." He almost looks a bit disappointed.

Perhaps that's what makes Kageyama say what he says next. "No," he almost whispers. Hinata turns towards him, a bit too quickly, and their eyes meet. He clears his throat, speaks more clearly, even as he runs his fingers nervously through his feathers. "No. It's not weird. Not if it's you. And this morning, too. When you-" He coughs. "I don't mind, is all I'm saying."

It's probably the boldest thing he's ever said up until now. His face still burns. But through it all, Hinata begins to smile again, disarmingly bright. "Stupid Tobio."

Kageyama can not believe him. " _Excuse me_?"

"Stupid, stupid Kageyama Tobio," Hinata chirps, and all Kageyama can do is huff in indignation.

" _I'm_ stupid?" he demands. He walks past Hinata to look up at the slope they've fallen down. "Thanks to you, we have to climb this whole thing again." Sighing, he begins to make his way up the incline.

A rustle of leaves gives away Hinata's presence close behind him, but before he can turn, he feels the other boy's fingers intertwine with his. Hinata's hand is small and cool and perfect for holding, and Kageyama's heart skips a beat in his chest.

Neither of them say anything, but Kageyama blushes furiously for what seems like the umpteenth time that day, and when he looks at Hinata out of the corner of his eye, he can see the other boy smiling softly.

 

"Close your eyes," Kageyma says softly to Hinata as they approach the summit.

"Why?" Hinata asks, curious.

"Just do it."

So he does, allowing Kageyama to guide him, pulling him along gently by his hand, making sure he doesn't trip. The woods become thinner and thinner, until they finally come out into the almost-dazzling sunlight. It's much cooler up here, more like an early spring day than that of midsummer, and a breeze swirls playfully around them. "Okay," Kageyama says. "You can open your eyes now."

Hinata gasps.

They are high up, so high up that the houses of the town below look like miniature toys and the rivers look like sparkling little streams. This is Kageyama's favourite mountain, not bleak and icily majestic like the one Shimizu resides in, but vibrant green and teeming with life. Below it are the forests they trekked through, and nestled at its base are clusters of villages on rolling hills; a lake shimmers in the distance. They stand in a clearing at the very top, hand-in-hand, and if he tries hard enough, he can imagine that he's on top of the world.

"Pretty enough for you?" He asks Hinata, who hasn't said a word and merely gazes out into the distance.

"More than enough," the other boy breathes, and Kageyama can't help but smile. "Oh, it's _beautiful_!"

"That's good," Kageyama says.

Another breeze whispers through the grass, and Hinata closes his eyes, savouring it. "I feel invincible," he murmurs.

Kageyama understands. He feels it too - it's a strange emotion, exhilarating and almost too much at the same time, running along his nerves and through his veins, born from sore legs and falls and mountain air, from birdsong and stuttered words and interlaced fingers. "Yeah," he says. "I know."

"If things were different," Hinata says, turning to look at him, "I think I'd like for us to stay here forever."

 Kageyama hums, agreeing. "We can stay here for the night," he says. "So you can see the sunset, and the stars."

"Oooh!" Hinata exclaims, pleased. "So what do we do now?"

"Wait for the sunset, I guess," Kageyama answers. "I'm tired. I'm gonna go sit down."

"Okay!" Hinata says. "I'm gonna go look around for a bit, but I'll come back."

"Alright," Kageyama says, and watches him run off to the other side of the lookout, almost bouncing with excitement. He sinks to the ground with a contented sigh and watches the sky. It's been a while since he's walked so much - he's pretty much flown his whole life. _Walking is nice too_ , he thinks, remembering the way Hinata's hand fit so wonderfully in his.

A few minutes later, the orange-haired boy reappears and joins him sitting on the grass. They sit close together, so close that their shoulders almost brush.

"I missed you, you know," Hinata says suddenly. "When you didn't come. I thought you were angry. I even asked Oikawa where you were. He said he didn't know."

Kageyama bristles, almost instinctively. _Of course he did._ "I wasn't mad at you," he tells Hinata. "Why would you even think that?"

Hinata shrugs. "Your face is scary."

Kageyama glares at him.

"See?" The other boy flinches. "That's what I mean."

"Idiot," Kageyama grumbles, pulling out a loose black feather absently from his forearm.

"And when you were gone, I realized I never even thanked you for everything," Hinata continues. "For the nights after Yachi passed, for when Oikawa tried to kiss me, for the flowers."

"Oh," Kageyama says. He shrugs. "You didn't have to. We're best friends, right? Best friends do that kind of thing all the time."

"I guess…" Hinata sounds dubious, absorbed in running his fingers through the grass.

"Really," Kageyama says, insistently. "You don't have to thank me for stuff like that."

"It's just that you've done so much for me," says Hinata. "What have I done for you?"

"So much," Kageyama tells him honestly. "So shut it."

For a moment, he's worried that he was too harsh, but then Hinata laughs. "That's so like you, Tobio. Just when I thought we were getting somewhere."

 Kageyama almost argues back, but sees the sparkle in the other boy's eyes and laughs with him instead. He feels a bit giddy - there's an insistent feeling that something is going to happen. It sets him on edge, but it's not unpleasant. Hinata's a bit restless too, fingers drumming on his knee.

The sun slowly dips lower and lower towards the horizon, losing some of its blinding brightness as it does so. The shadows lengthen while everything becomes illuminated in a soft gold. Kageyama watches as the sunlight hits Hinata's hair and sets its edges alight, gilding it. On a sudden impulse, he takes the feather he's been twirling in his fingers and places it carefully in the boy's hair, behind his ear. It stands out quite a bit, glossy black against fiery golden orange.

Just as Kageyama withdraws his hand, Hinata turns to face him, expression strangely unreadable. They're so close that Kageyama can see a small spray of faint freckles on his cheekbone that he has never noticed before, and it somehow takes his breath away. The air around them is charged, expectant, and it feels like everything so far has led up to this moment.

Reaching out, Kageyama traces the shell of Hinata's ear lightly, then cradles his small face gently in his hand, feeling the other boy leaning into the contact. There's a familiar feeling in his chest, only amplified a thousand times, half-ecstatic, half-painful. He thinks he might be trembling.

It takes a fraction of a second for them to close the distance between them, and then their lips touch, gentle and soft as a feather. The kiss is chaste but sweet beyond imagining, and even without wings, Kageyama feels like he's flying. Hinata's hand finds its way to the nape of his neck, and they pull each other closer, gasping softly against warm mouths.

When they break apart for air, Kageyama shivers with the thrill of it - his heart feels impossibly full, his body impossibly light. He feels like he could run forever and ever. Hinata's face is flushed, his eyes almost feverishly bright, and he looks so beautiful Kageyama almost forgets to breathe.

"I like you," Kageyama whispers, almost hoarsely. "I've liked you ever since I met you in the hospital, even though I didn't know it until you kissed me - when you were sleeping, I told Yachi-"

"I know," Hinata breathes. "I wasn't sleeping, I heard her, and I was so happy but I was so sad because I couldn't see you or talk to you - oh, I like you too, Tobio, so much."

And Kageyama feels everything bubbling up inside of him until he can't contain it anymore, and he's smiling so hard it hurts, but he can't stop. Hinata's laughing softly, stroking his hair. He doesn't know which one of them leans in once more, only that they are kissing, and it's wonderful how _natural_ it feels, how sweet Hinata's mouth tastes, and they kiss again, again, again, as the sun sets and the stars peek out.

 

"Look," Hinata says, hours later, when the night has set in. They lie on their backs, pressing close to each other, pointing at the swathes of brilliant stars. "If you connect that one to this one, then to those three over there, then there, you can make a volleyball."

Kageyama laughs, finds Hinata's hand with his own and laces their fingers together. "Well, you're not wrong."

"Of course I'm not," the other boy says, almost proudly.

"Whatever you say," Kageyama says, and kisses his hand.

Hinata giggles. "That tickles."

"My turn," Kageyama says, pointing upwards. "If you take the sixty stars next to your volleyball constellation, you can make a Hinata Shouyou getting hit in the face."

"You are so _rude_!" Hinata exclaims, kicking Kageyama for good measure, but he's chortling.

"I'm just kidding," Kageyama says. "To be honest, I don't really see anything. Just stars. But that's enough, I think."

Hinata hums contemplatively. "It is." Kageyama sees him smile. "When I was younger, I used to think the stars could sing."

"Maybe they can," says Kageyama.

"Maybe," Hinata says. "If we listen hard enough."

They fall asleep like that, side by side, trying to hear the music of faraway suns.


	7. fall

Waking up to Hinata is a dream.

Kageyama watches as the sunlight catches onto the boy's long golden lashes and softly illuminates the curve of his neck, skinny chest fluttering. His heart is still full, almost overflowing with everything he feels as he gazes down at Hinata's sleeping form, and he is content to do nothing but look. It doesn't take long for Hinata to stir; he sleeps less soundly in his soul-body than his physical one, lazily blinking open an eye before the other. A slow smile appears on his face as he takes in Kageyama.

"Hi," he murmurs drowsily.

"Hi," Kageyama responds, smiling back. "How are you feel- "

Hinata cuts him off with a kiss, pulling him down to capture his lips, and Kageyama's heartbeat spikes. He doesn't think he'll ever get used to something as wonderful as this. It's a slow, gentle affair, almost a bit lazy, but affectionate all the same, making him lose his train of thought. When they break apart he is almost dizzy.

"I feel good," Hinata tells him, grinning. "As good as I'll ever be, seeing as I'm half-dead."

"Okay," Kageyama manages. "That's alright, then."

Hinata gets to his feet, stretches. His toes curl in the grass, and he bounces a bit on the balls of his feet, like he's enjoying it while he can. His hair is adorably messy, stray curls and half-ringlets sticking every which way, and Kageyama stands up just to run his fingers through the silky locks. Hinata closes his eyes at the contact, pressing into it ever so gently.

"I want to check on the people at home," the shorter boy says, eyes still closed. "I hope they haven't done anything stupid. Natsu and Oikawa, especially."

Kageyama doesn't even blink at Oikawa's name. "That's rich," he says lightly, "Coming from you."

"Rude, Tobio," Hinata says, without any heat behind the words.  
"Come on, then," Kageyama says, reaching for Hinata's hand and tangling their fingers together. The morning is cool and full of life, the swell of birdsong ringing through the air as they make their way back down, flush with barely-contained excitement and adoration. Even the mountain itself looks different as Hinata chatters on - the flowers more vivid, the sky more lovely.

Kageyama takes this moment, remembers everything in it - Hinata's sweet voice mingling with that of the birds, the air in his lungs, the cool ground under his feet - and locks it up somewhere deep inside him so he can keep it forever and ever.

 

When they reach the hospital where Hinata lies, sleeping and healing, the boy checks up on his family and friends lovingly, with feather-soft kisses on their worried, tight faces. Kageyama stands off to the side, watching, almost feeling a bit wistful. This is a part of Hinata's life he can never be a part of.

Eventually, Hinata returns to his side. His eyes are soft, a bit faraway. "I love being alive," he says.

Kageyama blinks, looks at him, surprised.

"I realized it a few years ago," Hinata continues, a small smile on his face. "Before that, I was just surviving because I didn't want to let people down. But this is the only world that I'm sure of, you know? And there are so many wonderful people to talk to and things to do, and it only lasts for so long."

Kageyama hums, understanding.

"Almost everyone's afraid of dying," murmurs Hinata. "But not a lot of people actually love living." He sighs.

"It's good that you do," Kageyama says. And then, "I think I would've loved it too. Maybe that's why we chose to stay behind - because we loved it too much." He thinks of the other crowchildren, all forced to give up their last breaths before they'd truly done anything in their short, ephemeral lives, so enamored with living that the universe seemed to have let them stay out of pity.

"Oh," says Hinata. "I'm sorry." They leave the hospital slowly, side by side.

"Don't be," says Kageyama. "It's not your fault." He swallows. "I lied, you know."

Hinata turns to look at him, eyes bright with interest. "About what?"

Kageyama looks at the floor. "About why I didn't come see you for the last few weeks." They step outside, into the afternoon sun. "It was because I thought you didn't need me. I was wasting your time, you know, your time and your life. I still am, but I can't help it - I'm selfish, and I like you too much." He smiles dryly at the ground. "So I'm sorry."

Hinata punches him.

" _Ow_!" Kageyama exclaims, putting his hand protectively on his side. "What the hell, Shouyou?"

"Stupid!" the orange-haired boy whirls on him, almost scolding. "You left me alone because of _that_?"

"Well, I-"

"You don't get to decide stuff like that for yourself!" Hinata says firmly. "If I didn't want you to stay, I would tell you, believe me. But I do, I want you here, with me, until the end of things. We'll deal with that when we get to it." He stares up indignantly at the perplexed Kageyama. "The only reason for us not being together is if either of us doesn't want to, and I don't think that's very likely right now, is it?"

Kageyama gapes at him, something wonderfully warm racing through his veins, silvery and lightning-quick. "Yeah," he breathes, and leans down to kiss Hinata, deep and warm and _happy_. The other boy returns the gesture, looping his arms around Kageyama's neck.

"You left me after staying with me for _years_ ," Hinata accuses afterwards, a bit breathlessly, forehead leaning against Kageyama's. "Who _does_ that, anyways?"

"I'm stupid," Kageyama says honestly, swooping in to kiss the other boy on the cheek. "Forgive me."

"Kiss me again and I will," Hinata says, laughing. So Kageyama does, fingers running through the orange curls near the nape of the shorter boy's neck, and he feels like they might as well be the only two people on the planet -

" _Nice_ , Kageyama!" Someone hoots loudly, and both of them break apart so quickly they almost fall. Kageyama grits his teeth - he'd forgotten that the hospital is a hot spot for the other crowchildren. Standing on a bench a few feet away from them is Nishinoya, balancing precariously on the edge and wearing a huge shit-eating grin. At his side, still taller than him without the bench, stands Asahi, blushing madly.

"That's rude, Noya," he reprimands quietly, scratching anxiously at brownish-black feathers at the base of his neck, giving Kageyama an awkward smile. Kageyama's cheeks are so hot he thinks he'll burn himself if he puts his face in his hands like he wants to. Hinata, on the other hand, has seemingly overcome his mortification, and peers curiously at the two other feathered children.

"Hi!" He chirps, grinning. "I'm Hinata Shouyou!"

Nishinoya jumps off the bench and lands on the pavement with the grace of a cat. "So _you're_ Kageyama's secret crush, huh?" He grins. "Nice to meet you!"

Hinata suddenly seems at a loss for words. He looks Nishinoya up and down, then up and down again.

"What's wrong?" Nishinoya asks, frowning. "What did I say?" He looks at Kageyama. "Did I break him?"

Hinata blinks. "You're shorter than me," he says quietly, almost dazedly. "Which means… which means that I'm taller than you."

 _Oh_ _no_ , Kageyama thinks desperately, as Nishinoya seems to swell up and quiver with indignation. Asahi shoots Kageyama a panicked glance, but Nishinoya speaks before either of them can move.

"Excuse me?" he says, voice dangerously low.

"I'm taller than you," Hinata says again, incredulous, seemingly unable to sense the imminent danger he's in. And then, "Your hair is amazing."

The tension in the air almost completely dissipates. Nishinoya reaches out and playfully punches Hinata on the shoulder. "I like you," he says, voice back to the usual loudness, and a huge smile spreads across Hinata's face. Asahi visibly lets out a breath of relief. "You're smart, and you're cute." He looks at Kageyama again. "You've got good taste, Kageyama! He's cute!"

"Yeah, I got that," Kageyama mutters.

"I'm Nishinoya Yuu!" Nishinoya proclaims, to the awed Hinata. "And that guy there is Asahi."

"Nice to meet you!" Hinata says cheerily. He looks around them. "Are there more of you?"

"Back home there is," Asahi says amiably.

"Yeah!" Nishinoya says. "Wanna come see?"

Hinata's eyes shine. "Yeah!" Then he looks almost shyly at Kageyama, who shrugs, sighing.

"Your choice," he says.

Nishinoya reaches out to clap him on the back, hard. "Aww, there's the cute baby Kageyama I used to know! Don't be shy, basically everyone knows about you and him, thanks to Tsukishima."

Kageyama rolls his eyes. "Tsukishima's a prick."

"You're damn right he is!" Nishinoya exclaims. "I don't mean to be rude, but thank the gods that Yamaguchi joined us. Pre-Yamaguchi Tsukishima was _unholy_."

"He was alright," Asahi says. "But it's true, he is nicer now."

"You are incapable of disliking anyone," Nishinoya says to him.

"Let's go, then," Kageyama says, taking Hinata by the hand. "He doesn't have forever like this."

They make their way to the flock's hangout, Nishinoya and Hinata borderline yelling at each other in shared excitement. Kageyama rolls his eyes but there's a warmth in his chest that he can't get rid of, and when Asahi catches his eye and smiles meaningfully, he can't help but smile back.

 

"Oooh!" exclaims Tanaka, when he sees them coming. "Who's this? A newbie?" Then he squints at Hinata, searching. "No, he's not. Where are your feathers?"

"This is Shouyou, Ryuu!" Nishinoya exclaims. "He's half-dead right now but he came to meet us because he's Kageyama's closet fiancé and he wants to learn how to party!"

"Seriously?" Tanaka asks, joyous.

"Yeah!" Hinata says, grinning. "Nice to meet you!"

Tanaka puts a hand over Hinata's head like he's blessing him. "Fear not, young fiancé! We'll teach you everything you need to know about partying!"

"No, you won't," someone says drily. It's Tsukishima walking towards them, probably attracted by the ruckus. Yamaguchi peers at Hinata curiously from his side. He smiles, giving a small wave, and Hinata waves back like they've known each other for years.

Nishinoya glares at Tsukishima. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," the blonde says drily, looking at something in the sky, "That Daichi is coming."

"Well, shit," says Tanaka. Sure enough, the shapes of two ravens, one black and broad-winged, the other more slender and with a head and chest of grey, light down near them, moulting away their plumage until they become boys.

"Just _what_ ," says Daichi, plucking out loose feathers from his forearm and looking suspiciously at the two troublemakers hovering around Hinata, "Are you two planning to do with that poor soul?"

"It's for his own good," Nishinoya says quickly. "He needs to enjoy everything the world has to offer -"

"You're going to corrupt him," Daichi says flatly.

"He's Kageyama's fiancé!" Tanaka protests. "We wouldn't!" Kageyama puts a hand to his face, defeated.

"Him being Kageyama's friend means that you are obligated to _take care_ of him," Suga tells them firmly, "Not bring him to a strip club."

"Well, shit," Nishinoya says, disappointed.

"But I guess it's okay to have some fun," Suga says thoughtfully.

"Suga!" Daichi exclaims, betrayed.

"Come on, Daichi," Suga says, eyes wide and imploring, and Kageyama knows immediately that he's won. "It's not everyday you get to meet Kageyama's fiancé."

"Not you too, Suga," Kageyama says, horrified. Suga winks at him and grins.

" _Fine_ ," Daichi says, to Tanaka, Nishinoya, and Hinata's unbridled delight.

 

"The ground is lavaaaa," Nishinoya singsongs, standing precariously on a branch.

"It's also twenty feet below us," Yamaguchi notes.

"This is such a bad idea," Tsukishima mutters. He turns to face Kageyama standing on a branch close to him. "Tell me this isn't a bad idea."

Kageyama sees Hinata laughing out of the corner of his eye, and shrugs. "Well…"

Tsukishima rolls his eyes. "You're _whipped_ , Kageyama."

" _What_ did you say?" Kageyama demands.

"It's not _that_ bad, Tsukki," Yamaguchi says gently. "Falling off can't kill us." He shrugs. "At the most, it'll just hurt a lot."

Tsukishima gives a noncommittal grunt.

They're standing on the boughs of immense trees, playing a game that Suga came up with. It's surprisingly violent. The goal is to make as many people fall off the branches as possible, with the last one standing as the victor.

"No one can use their wings!" Suga calls out, from another tree. "It's not fair for Hinata."

"Let's just start already!" Tanaka shouts.

Suga nods. "Call it," he tells Asahi, who has opted to sit out.

"Uh," says Asahi. "Start, I guess?"

There's a flurry of movement from the corner of Kageyama's eye, and he leaps onto another tree, clinging to the top branch as it sways, even under his feather-light weight. He turns to see Yamaguchi grinning wickedly at him, crouching where he had been a moment ago. _It's always the quiet ones_ , he thinks, and quickly leaps away to avoid the freckled boy's assault. Eventually, he makes it far away enough so that Yamaguchi gives up on him and he can watch the pseudo-warfare that is happening in the centre of the forest top. With a roar of glee, Tanaka and Nishinoya try to pounce on Suga's exposed back, but crash into Daichi's rock-solid shape instead. Tanaka is able to catch himself, but Nishinoya can't stop and almost ricochets off of the dark-haired boy's body, falling down with a hoarse shout while Suga laughs.

"Noya!" Kageyama hears Tanaka call down tearfully. "Noya! Are you dead?"

A moment passes, and then a small black bullet of a crow shoots upwards, throwing off its feathers to reveal an ecstatic Nishinoya. "Hell yeah I am!"

"You're also a loser," says Daichi. "Go sit out."

"Noya is so _cool_!" Hinata exclaims, and the shorter boy ruffles his hair as he passes by to sit next to Asahi.

"Win for me, Shouyou!" he calls. "Or at least knock Daichi off."

Daichi grins at Hinata. "You can try."

Hinata blanches and runs. Or tries to run, getting as far away as possible. The game goes on, Yamaguchi and Sugawara teaming up to push a hilariously shocked Tsukishima off his perch. When he flies back up, he looks at Yamaguchi like he's been terribly betrayed, but blushes anyways when the brown-haired boy blows him a kiss. Nishinoya claps him on the back.

Hinata manages to somehow make Tanaka slip from his branch, but he sprouts feathers more quickly than anyone would've thought and moults them, staying steady.

"You're a dirty cheater, Ryuu!" Noya hollers. "I saw that! You grew wings! Get over here!"

"We all saw that," Tsukishima says dryly.

"Saw what?" Tanaka shouts back, grinning, trying hard to pretend he doesn't notice his black feathers swirling in the air around him.

Daichi comes up behind him, and shoves him off. "There," he says, satisfied. Tanaka reappears moments later looking very offended, but laughingly joins the growing group of losers anyways.

Kageyama skims over the treetops as quietly as possible, until he's one tree directly behind a blissfully unaware Hinata with his eyes trained on Yamaguchi. His muscles tense and he leaps into the air, only to be tackled midair by someone from the side. Hinata whirls around, and Kageyama manages to grab onto a branch and pull himself up.

His attacker is angel-faced, beatific Suga, who smiles at him from above. "Trying to attack your fiancé, Kageyama?" He cocks his head. "Not very nice of you, is it?"

Hinata gasps, affronted. " _Kageyama_! We're getting married in a few months and _this_ is how you repay me?"

"Both of you are terrible," Kageyama says, breathing heavy.

Suga clicks his tongue disapprovingly. "Let's get him, Hinata." Then he calls out to Daichi and Yamaguchi who are having some sort of staring contest. "Hey, guys! We're going after Kageyama! Feel free to join!"

Kageyama turns tail and _flees_ , using all four limbs in a valiant effort to outpace them, thrilling with the chase. Even as he feels them closing in on him, he's laughing hard at the same time, loud and breathy and euphoric. Hinata eventually grabs him by the shirt, and he only has time to think _not again_ before he loses balance and falls towards the earth below. The air rushes by him and his stomach swoops like he's flying, but there's fear mixed in with the exhilaration. He bursts into plumage just in time, flying upwards into the open air and lighting onto a high branch, shaking off his feathers.

"And lover boy is out!" Nishinoya shouts. "Come sit with the losers and enjoy the show, Kageyama." So Kageyama does, pink-faced and grinning like an idiot despite having lost.

Yamaguchi is the one who defeats Hinata, taking him by surprise, but plummets down afterwards to catch him and bring him to Kageyama.

"Thanks, Yamaguchi!" Hinata says as the other boy sets him down gently. "But also," he says indignantly, "Screw you!"

"Serves you right," Kageyama tells him, and the orange-haired boy gasps exaggeratedly. "Thanks, Yamaguchi."

Yamaguchi merely laughs, shaking off downy feathers before rejoining the game. It's just him, Suga, and Daichi left, and Kageyama cringes as he realizes the situation the freckled boy is in.

"Oh no," Nishinoya comments. "Poor Yamaguchi. Doomed to die at the hands of the power couple."

It's true - Yamaguchi's surefootedness can't overcome both Suga and Daichi at once, and he ends up falling off after a shove from the silver-haired boy. With a wide smile, he joins them, sitting next to Tsukishima.

"Oh god," says Tanaka, giggling. "It's just Suga and Daichi left."

Kageyama laughs too, seeing the two of them circle each other warily, trying to fake each other out with subtle glances and feints.

"Is it just me, or does this feel really weird?" asks Tsukishima after a moment.

"It's like a really strange version of an old married couple argument," Tanaka agrees.

" _Hey_!" Nishinoya hollers at Suga and Daichi. "One of you, do _something_ , or I want my money back!"

As if on cue, Daichi lunges at Suga, hands outstretched, but the other boy holds out his own to resist him, and it becomes a contest of strength, both of them trying to force the other back. Suga's at a disadvantage, back facing away from the tree trunk, and he's not as strong as Daichi.

"Oh, I need to get closer to this," Tanaka says excitedly, and he and Nishinoya leap onto a tree that's closer to the tussle. Kageyama feels Hinata quiver beside him with excitement.

Something very strange happens next - Suga leans his face in closer to Daichi's with a smile that can only be described as downright wicked, and manages to say something quietly to his ear. The dark-haired boy freezes visibly, face going red. A few feet away, Tanaka and Nishinoya turn to gape at each other, having presumably heard what Suga said, then simultaneously let out a wordless shout of incredulousness and excitement, hooting with laughter.

"What did he say?" Hinata asks curiously. "What did he say?"

Kageyama is burningly curious too, but he doesn't have a chance to speculate because then Suga leans in and _kisses_ Daichi, who is now just standing there with his arms helplessly by his sides. The shorter boy's hand comes to rest on Daichi's chest, seemingly to fist in his shirt, but then, with a quick shove to the side, he pushes the dark-haired boy off the branch.

Tanaka and Nishinoya's exclamations are deafening.

"OH MY GOD!" Noya screams. "FUCK!"

Tanaka can't stop laughing, clutching his chest and wheezing as Daichi swoops upwards from the forest, looking extremely harassed. His face is still red and he looks like he's choking on air. Kageyama laughs - he can't help it. Hinata giggles too, rocking back and forth on the branch as he tries to contain his mirth. Yamaguchi is shaking wordlessly, silently laughing into his hands - even Tsukishima chuckles a bit. Only Asahi blushes like he's just seen something dirty, which he probably has.

Suga grins at Daichi, holding out a hand to him.

" _You_ ," grumbles Daichi, "You are the _devil_." But he takes his hand anyways, as they make their way to the rest of the flock.

"No," Suga corrects him, almost purring, "I'm the winner."

"Yeah, yeah," Daichi mutters, "You win. All of you win," he says, addressing all of them. "I hope you're fucking happy."

"Oh," Noya says, wiping away a tear. "I am _so_ happy."

"What did you say to him?" Hinata asks Suga, who ruffles his hair.

"He said that he would - " Tanaka begins loudly, before Suga claps a hand over his mouth.

"Not in front of the baby," he says sweetly.

Hinata pouts. It's cute. "I am _not_ the baby!"

"Yes, you are," Kageyama says. "You're thirteen."

"So?" demands Hinata. "Noya looks like he's-" Kageyama muffles him with his hand before the other boy can hear. Hinata's lips are warm against his palm.

"Let's go home, then," says Daichi, who seems to have recovered a bit from his mortification. "And pretend this never happened," Kageyama hears him mutter under his breath.

 

Aside from his obvious rapport with Tanaka and Nishinoya, Hinata also seems to get along surprisingly well with Yamaguchi. It's really quite adorable, watching them enjoy each other's company - Hinata's face is bright and excited, and it occurs to Kageyama he probably hasn't been which such a large group of friends for a very long time. The only objection he has against the fondness they have for each other is that he has to sit closer to Tsukishima, who seems slightly annoyed at the seating arrangement as well. But it's easy, to stay like this and forget the past and the future, to think of nothing but the moment at present.

He sits on the curb of the sidewalk, beside Hinata, who talks animatedly to Yamaguchi about freckles. Tsukishima sits on the other side of the brown-haired boy, chin propped on his hands, staring out wordlessly at Ennoshita, Kinoshita, and Narita swooping in to talk to Daichi about something. Kageyama thinks he sees the blonde boy's gaze flick ever-so-quickly to him sometimes, as if he's wary. At times like this, he's tempted to ask Tsukishima about his alleged relations with someone who was alive - _who were they? What happened? Did you love them?_

As if he hears Kageyama's prying thoughts, Tsukishima shifts and sighs, standing up. Yamaguchi turns at the movement.

"Tsukki?"

"I need to talk to Daichi," Tsukishima says almost flatly, adjusting his glasses. He reaches out a hand to Yamaguchi. "Come with me?"

Yamaguchi is already on his feet. He turns, gives both Kageyama and Hinata a gentle smile. "See you around, Hinata, Kageyama."

"Bye, Yamaguchi!" Hinata says brightly. Kageyama gives a nod of acknowledgement, and they watch the two of them walk away. With a sigh, the orange-haired boy rests his head on Kageyama's shoulder.

"I'm tired," he says.

"Must be about time for you to go back, then," the taller boy says, feeling something catch in his throat.

"I know," Hinata says.

There's a beat of silence, then Hinata speaks again.

"Have you ever thought about what happens to us?" he asks, a bit hesitantly. "After this?"

Kageyama swallows. It's what they've been trying to avoid the whole time since the day before - the inevitable return of Hinata among the living, of him reduced to nothing but a bird again, a silent ghost. It makes him sad. "I don't know."

Hinata closes his eyes tightly. "I'll miss you."

Gently, Kageyama puts an arm around the smaller boy's shoulders. He looks so fragile now, pale and small and breakable like glass. "It'll be alright," he says, and he sounds more confident than he feels. "We'll still be together."

"I'm glad this happened, though," Hinata murmurs.

Kageyama presses a kiss into his hair. "Me too." _I'll never forget you,_ he thinks defiantly. _Never._

They stay like that for a bit, leaning into each other, soaking up the sunlight and momentary contentment, and all of a sudden Kageyama is struck with an idea.

"Hey," he says, nudging Hinata gently.

"Hmm?"

"Let's go somewhere," says Kageyama. "I have to show you something." _Someone._

"Okay," says Hinata, both of them standing up. This time, he wraps his arms around Kageyama gently and lets himself be carried into the sky.

 

Shimizu's mountain seems, if possible, even more bleak than before. Kageyama sets them both down on a rocky outcrop, close to where he last saw her, and at once he can tell that something is wrong. Even as his feathers swirl away on a gust of wind, he sees a few blue-tinted plumes caught in a thicket, edges ragged and broken.

"What's wrong?" asks Hinata.

Kageyama plucks a feather off the thicket and shows it to him.

"This is Shimizu's," he tells him. "I was going to introduce you two face-to-face properly, but I don't know what's happened to her."

"Looks bad," Hinata says, voice high with concern. "Do you think she's okay?"

"I don't know," Kageyama responds.

"Should we go look for her?" Hinata asks. "Just to make sure she is?"

"Do you have the time for that?" Kageyama says.

Hinata looks determined. "I'll make time. Let's just go look for her. I've missed her."

"Okay," says Kageyama, and they begin their search, looking for telltale blue-black feathers among the grey-white landscape. They aren't hard to find. In some places they're numerous, and he can tell it's where Shimizu moulted. But they're so thin, so unhealthy, with large gaps in the vane. It makes him apprehensive, not knowing what to expect, and Hinata reaches out to hold his hand in an act of reassurance.

Suddenly, Hinata stops, standing still and alert.

"What is it?" asks Kageyama.

"Shhh," Hinata says. "Listen."

Kageyama does, tilting his head, and he catches a murmur of something - voices, he realizes, being carried to them on the wind. One of them is undoubtedly Shimizu's, the other is female as well, familiar but unrecognizable.

"C'mon!" Hinata says, pulling him by the hand towards the sound.

They approach what seems to be the side of a cave - rocky and jagged like everything else here, and the voices become clearer, easier to understand.

"Sleep," says the other voice. "You need to rest."

Kageyama hears an intelligible murmur.

Hinata looks at him. "That's her? Hitoka's friend?" The grip on his hand grows the slightest bit tighter.

Kageyama nods, dread coiling in his gut, but he doesn't stop walking, going around to approach the mouth of the cave. He sees a shape lying on the ground that appears to be Shimizu, someone kneeling over her - _Saeko_ , he realizes. At the sound of their footsteps, she looks up at them, and her expression is almost unreadable. She isn't someone that Kageyama is very close with, but even he can tell that she doesn't look like her usual self.

"Kageyama," she says, nodding to him. Her gaze flicks over to Hinata, then to their linked hands. "Who's this?"

"I'm Hinata Shouyou," Hinata says, but with a lack of fervour - the atmosphere is too heavy, even for him.

"I'm Tanaka Saeko," she says. "Ryuu's sister. But you can call me Saeko." She manages a smile, which Hinata returns, looking relieved.

Kageyama barely hears them. Now that Saeko has shifted, all he can see is Shimizu. She looks worse, so much worse than when he saw her last time. The feathers on her skin are few and far between, scraggly and dull, and it makes him a bit sick to his stomach. It's _unnatural_ , to see a crowchild who almost doesn't have any feathers left, like something raw and bloody and exposed. Her eyes are closed, and she almost looks a bit gaunt, pale skin stretched over prominent cheekbones. He drops to his knees beside her, reaches out a tentative hand to stroke her hair. Hinata sinks down beside him.

"What happened to her?" he asks Saeko, in a low voice. "Why is she like this?" Deep down, he knows the answer, but he doesn't want it to be true - wants a lie, a lie to smooth it over and cover it up.

"Her heart is broken," Saeko says. "And she's been alone for too long. Daichi only sent me to take care of her a few weeks ago." Kageyama feels Hinata turn his wide-eyed gaze on her.

"But her _feathers_ \- her body-"

"We're not truly alive or human, Kageyama," Saeko says quietly. "This body we have - it _is_ our heart. Even our physical form, feathers and wings and everything else, is tied to that. We don't have true flesh and blood like he does, back where he comes from," she says, nodding at Hinata. "We lost that when we lost our lives. What we do have is heart and soul, so is it really that surprising that Shimizu's like this after all she's gone through?"

"What do you mean?" Hinata asks, voice trembling. "All she's gone through?"

Saeko turns to look at him. "She fell in love," she says. "With someone she'll never see again."

Hinata recoils like he's been slapped.

"What's going to happen to her?" Kageyama whispers.

"I don't know," Saeko says. "She's grounded right now."

Kageyama can't breathe for a moment. _No, no, this can't be happening._ "What?"

"She can't fly," the girl tells him. "Her feathers are too damaged. I don't know if they'll ever grow back."

Kageyama tries to imagine a world where he can't fly, where the sky is out of reach, and something sharp and sandy claws at his insides. "No. She _has_ to be able to fly - she _has to_."

Saeko's eyes are sad. "I'm sorry, Kageyama." Her gaze flicks from him to Hinata, and she sighs. "Hearts like ours weren't meant for breaking. We're children, after all." 

Kageyama doesn't say anything. After a moment, he presses a kiss onto Shimizu's forehead. She seems to be asleep. Hinata does the same, moving a stray strand of hair away from her now-closed eyes.

"Thank you, Saeko," Kageyama says. "I'll come visit her from now on."

Saeko nods. "She doesn't usually like being with other people right now, but I have a feeling that she'll be okay with you."

Kageyama gets to his feet, taking Hinata by the hand.

"I have to take him home," he says.

"Nice meeting you," says Hinata.

"You too," Saeko says. "See you, Kageyama."

Kageyama nods, and walks away from the terrible scene behind them. He wishes he could forget everything he saw, everything he heard. He wishes he had never come. His hold on Hinata's hand is probably a bit too tight to be comfortable, but the other boy doesn't object, being strangely quiet.

Wordlessly, Kageyama holds Hinata close to him and takes off into the sky, feeling the wind run through his feathers like it's his last chance to do so.

 

"Here," says Hinata, when they're above the crowchildren's park. His voice is faint.

Kageyama doesn't ask. He lights down on the hill, a distance away from the others. The sun is beginning to set. They stand there, and it reminds him of a time years ago, before Oikawa, before Shimizu, before Yachi, when it was just the two of them.

"Tobio," Hinata says, and he reaches up to touch Kageyama's face, ever so gently. With a shock, Kageyama realizes that he looks like he's on the verge of tears.

"What's wrong?" he asks, and it isn't until he says it that he realizes what a stupid question it was. "I'm sorry you had to see that," he adds.

Hinata eyes are wide and his lips are trembling like they do when he's miserable or afraid, but he doesn't look away from Kageyama. "No," he says. "I'm grateful I saw her, because I wouldn't have known what I was capable of otherwise."

Kageyama stiffens. "What do you mean?"

Hinata lets his hand drop. " _Hitoka_ did that to her, Tobio. I know she didn't mean for it to happen, but it did, didn't it? And that's what really matters, in the end."

Kageyama stays silent, something plugging his throat so that he can't make a sound. He realizes dimly that he's shaking.

"When I get back," says Hinata, "Don't ever visit me again."

A chill runs down Kageyama's back and a stab of hurt pierces his heart. He shakes his head. "No."

"I mean it, Tobio," Hinata says, voice miserable but firm. "Don't come back."

"You can't-" Kageyama says, almost pleads. "You can't tell me to do something like that! Not after all this!"

"It's _because_ of all this that I'm telling you!" Hinata shouts, and he's really crying now, tears beginning to run down his face, turned gold by the sun. "I'm like Hitoka! I'll die, and I'll leave you behind! And then you'll end up like Kiyoko did - "

"I don't _care_!" Kageyama says fiercely, and he reaches out to hold Hinata close to him, and they stand like that for a moment, breathing hard. "I don't care."

Hinata stiffens in his arms, pushes him away. " _I_ do, Tobio, don't you understand?" He doesn't bother to wipe his tears, and they leave shiny trails in their wake. "Do you think I could live out the rest of my life knowing that I did that to you?"

"You won't," Kageyama says vehemently. "You're not enough to break me, Shouyou."

"I don't believe you," says Hinata, softly and sadly. He seems to deflate. "I'm not worth your wings, Tobio. Look me in the eye and tell me that's not true."

Kageyama can't. He can't. He hates himself for it.

Hinata laughs, a sad little sound that's full of hurt and resignation. "That's what I thought," he says. "But it's the right choice. You'll need them."

"Shouyou-" Kageyama feels like he's falling. It's all happening fast, too fast.

"It's okay," says Hinata, finally wiping away his tears. He embraces Kageyama, wrapping his arms around his neck. "Keep your wings, Tobio. Keep your heart - you need it more than I do." His voice is quiet, muffled. "Just forget about me. I'll do the remembering for both of us."

Kageyama clenches his eyes shut, feeling a tear trickle down his cheek. "I can't do that."

"You will," says Hinata. "Promise me, Tobio." It's a command, and his voice is sad and beautiful and terrible.

Kageyama does. He promises, because he's a coward and he's selfish and doesn't know what to do. "I promise." It's a mere whisper, but it feels heavier than lead on his tongue.

Hinata sighs, satisfied. "Thank you. For everything." And then, "Don't follow me. I'm going home."

He looks soaked in misery as he walks away towards the others, and Kageyama imagines that he looks the same. It's as if his body has betrayed him - he wants to scream at Hinata, to run after him and hold him and kiss him again and again, but all he does is stay there, rooted to the spot, watching. He sees him approach Yamaguchi, who turns to look at Kageyama, but after a moment or two he nods as if in understanding. Kageyama watches Yamaguchi don his feathers, watches as Hinata flies away, away from him forever.

He walks into the clearing like he's in a daze. Everyone stares at him - they probably have a rough guess as to what happened. Without a word, Kageyama sits down against the trunk of a tree, hugging his knees to his chest. He doesn't really know what to feel anymore, so he doesn't feel anything at all.

The sun has set, and the summer has taken everything from him.

 

His days pass in a state of acedia. Kageyama works, sometimes he talks to the others, but the pity in their eyes is too much and makes him feel sick. Mostly, he just keeps to himself. Flying is his only solace.

_At least I have the sky._

 

His memories won't fade. They stay there, vibrant and terribly beautiful, playing in a cruel loop behind his eyes. One day, they're just too much, so Kageyama breaks down and sobs, ugly, harsh noises finally tearing their way out after being kept inside for so long. In a moment, Suga's beside him, holding him close gently.

"Shh," he cooes gently, and his voice is like the wind. "It's okay, it's okay."

Kageyama grasps onto him like a lifeline. "It _hurts_ , Suga."

"I almost lost Shimizu already," Suga says. "I don't plan to lose you." He strokes Kageyama's hair. "Tell me what you need. I'm here. I'll always be here."

Kageyama buries his face into Suga's warmth. "I'm lonely," he finally whispers, brokenly. "I don't want to be lonely anymore."

He feels the other boy stiffen, but then Suga relaxes. "Okay," he says, "Okay. I'll tell him."

Kageyama doesn't need to ask whom he's talking about. Besides Hinata, there's only one other person that he's ever been extremely close with. 

"I'll tell him," Suga says again. _I'll tell him to come to you._ "Is that okay?"

"Yeah," Kageyama whispers. "Yeah, it is."

 

Two days later, Kageyama's sitting on a bench in the park, watching the flock from a distance. He feels bad when he gets too close to them - they always seem to get guilty for having fun around him, so they don't. He's a bit surprised when he feels a tap on his shoulder.

"Hey, Kageyama."

Kageyama freezes at the voice - it's unmistakeable. He shouldn't be surprised, after what Suga said, but it's still a bit of a shock. Kageyama whips around to see a familiar face, a bit more mature-looking than he remembers, but with the same handsome features that he'd traced with his eyes so many times. The boy's dark, spiky hair hasn't changed, and neither has the serious green-grey gaze.

Kageyama swallows before greeting him.

"Hey, Iwaizumi."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things will get better for kags and hinata i promise


	8. moult

_The only thing that keeps Kageyama company is the sound of his beating wings._

_It's been like this for decades, perhaps even centuries. From the moment he drew his last breath, he has been utterly alone. His death was a solitary affair, just like this strange, feathered half-life of his. No friends, no family, no flock. Just strange faces and souls, most of them so fleeting he forgets about them in a few days._

_Kageyama doesn't complain. Things are fine as they are. He does his duty, flies through tempests, listens to the songs of the wind. Sometimes, he sees people like him - feathered children, a lot of them in one place, talking and laughing._

_It makes him wonder a bit, as the years wear on._

_So when the opportunity comes in the shape of calm, sooty-feathered Matsukawa asking if Kageyama wants to join his flock, he says yes. It's alright at first, almost a bit exciting to be part of something bigger than himself for once, but it's not as wonderful as he thought it would be. He, who has never truly lived a day on the earth, who has his heart in the open sky, doesn't understand the intricacies and subtleties of what goes on between people, and as time passes, it becomes more and more obvious that he does not fit well among them._

Rude, crazy _\- words that are whispered about Kageyama behind his back so carelessly that he can feel them._ Annoying _. Eventually, he stops flying with Kindaichi and Kunimi._

_For the first time, he understands that being lonely doesn't necessarily come from being alone._

_It's a few years later when Hanamaki introduces a new crowchild who looks about as old as he is, all young-hearted defiance and fierceness under a layer of politeness, with spiky black hair and hazel eyes that give away more than his words do. He's handsome too, and Kageyama doesn't miss the way Kindaichi blushes._

_"This is Iwaizumi Hajime," Hanamaki tells the flock. "He'll be joining us for the foreseeable future."_

_With that, they surge towards him, ruffling his hair and firing questions. Kageyama opts to linger at the edges, just watching. The new boy looks a bit wary and shocked at the sudden attention, but soon begins to smile. He smiles nice - wide and trusting, eyes honest in their mirth._

_And like that, Iwaizumi is claimed by everyone except for Kageyama. The younger ones actually get into squabbles over him - he has a tough sort of charm that gets everyone all starry-eyed or at least pacified into obedience. Sometimes, he catches Kageyama's eye, and while they barely speak, he gives him a nod and a warm little smile. Kageyama doesn't smile back, but he does nod, wide-eyed and a tiny bit awkward. It feels like their own little secret communication, and at times when Kindaichi is being too much of a pain in the ass, he thinks about it with a twinge of satisfaction._

_It isn't until one day when Kageyama sees the most beautiful storm brewing in the sky that they truly speak. Kageyama has a bit of a fascination with whipping winds and rain; flying through it is something to be appreciated now that there is no danger of dying, even with the inevitable pain. He's thrilled, so ecstatic that he forgets, and asks the flock excitedly if anyone wants to fly it with him._

_He's met with blank gazes and mutters, sympathetic looks from Hanamaki and Matsukawa, even a few snickers, and Kageyama can feel himself wilt a little. It hurts quite a bit._

_And then someone walks up to him. It's Iwaizumi, back from one of his notoriously secretive journeys, and he's smiling._

_"I'll fly with you," he says._

_They get closer after that, becoming something like consistent flying partners, to the jealousy and chagrin of the rest of the flock. It doesn't go unnoticed._

_"You know," Kageyama says to Iwaizumi one night as they lie on the grass, "People don't like it that we're together so often."_

_The spiky-haired boy doesn't open his eyes when he speaks. "That's their problem." He shifts a bit, pressing against Kageyama's side. "I like you."_

 I like you. _It's an innocent statement, having more to do with friendship than romance, but Kageyama's heart skips a beat anyways. "Oh," he says. "Okay."_

_He doesn't bring it up again._

_Kageyama has no secrets from Iwaizumi - he tells him everything, pours out his heart to him. They're friends, wonderfully close in almost every respect, and if his eyes tend to wander over the other boy's handsome features more often than not, well, who can blame him?_

_Iwaizumi's strangely routine absences is the only thing that bothers Kageyama. The other boy looks either terribly happy or a bit troubled afterwards, and he refuses to tell Kageyama a thing even after he's been asked. There's also another thing: Iwaizumi ages, grows taller just like he would if he's alive. It's strange, to be sure, but he's beautiful and bold and reliable and the best friend Kageyama has, so he doesn't press for answers. Instead, he occupies his time tracing patterns on Iwaizumi's back with tentative fingers as the other boy sings him to sleep._

_It's summer when it happens._

_Kageyama's woken up in the early morning by someone shaking his shoulder - Iwaizumi, he registers, and gives a sleepy smile. But as his vision clears, he sees that there's something about the other boy's expression, eyes wide and despairing, perhaps even a little angry, that hints that Iwaizumi is on the verge of tears. Kageyama bolts upright immediately, awkwardly reaching out to touch his arm in a gesture of reassurance._

_"What is it?"_

_"Oh, Kageyama," Iwaizumi whispers hoarsely. "I messed up. I really messed up."_

_Kageyama doesn't know what he's talking about. He has a sneaking suspicion it has to do with the secretive journeys, but he swallows his curiosity and tries to help. "It's okay. Calm down, you'll be okay." It's strange to be the one doing the reassuring._

_Iwaizumi takes a deep shuddering breath and leans his forehead against Kageyama's. His skin is hot. The next words that come out of his mouth are too quiet for him to hear, even though they're close enough to kiss._

_"What?" Kageyama whispers. His heartbeat is a bit too loud, a bit too fast._

_"I have to leave," Iwaizumi says lowly. "Now."_

_"Oh," says Kageyama, taken aback. He blinks. "Can I come with you?" The only reason he's stayed in this flock for so long is only because of Iwaizumi, anyways._

_Iwaizumi  pulls away from him, and takes a deep breath. Kageyama's heart sinks. "I'm sorry," the other boy says, and he is, Kageyama can see it in his eyes. "You're a great friend, and I'm really sorry, but I have to be alone."_

_There is no room for arguing. Kageyama lowers his gaze and says nothing. He knows that there's probably a good reason for him leaving so abruptly, but he can't help but feel a bit betrayed, angry and sad at the same time._

_"I'm sorry," Iwaizumi says again._

_"It's okay."_

_"Tell me if you ever need me, okay?" Iwaizumi says. "Matsukawa will know where I am."_

_Kageyama nods mutely. None of it feels real - it's a bit like one of Iwaizumi's stories._

_"Good," the spiky-haired boy says, tentatively reaching out to ruffle Kageyama's hair, and Kageyama resists the urge to slap his hand away. Then Iwaizumi's gone, leaving him sitting in the grass, alone once again._

_He leaves the flock a day later._

_Kageyama stumbles across Sugawara by chance, and he's drawn to him, even though the way he adores the silver-haired boy isn't the same way he adored Iwaizumi. All the same, Suga is caring and warm, not that Hanamaki and Matsukawa weren't, but there's something more about him that Kageyama needs. And the other flock members are kind too, a bit more tolerant, a bit more understanding, so when Daichi asks him if he wants to join the family, Kageyama nods and smiles. Nishinoya almost knocks him over with an excited tackle-hug and Saeko punches him in the shoulder playfully, but he can't stop grinning, and he thinks that maybe this time, he'll finally have something to call home._

_It's a few months later when Iwaizumi visits him. He and Daichi seem to know each other well enough, and there isn't much of an invasive feeling when he sets foot in their park. Kageyama is sitting with Suga, who runs his hands through his sleek black hair soothingly, playing with it. When he catches sight of Iwaizumi, something warm flickers in his chest, but he squashes it down with anger and resentment._

_"Hey, Kageyama," the spiky-haired boy says. He looks nervous, but despite that, more mature. It just serves to remind Kageyama that he's been left behind in more than one way._

_"Hi," says Kageyama, a bit coldly._

_It's an awkward conversation from then on, with a frigidly polite_ how have you been _coming from each of them._

_Iwaizumi frowns. "Are you alright?"_

_Kageyama wants to scream at him, but all he does is bite his lip. Suga answers for him, fingers pausing in his hair._

_"He's upset," he says to Iwaizumi, almost apologetically. "He always bites his lip when he's upset."_

_Iwaizumi blinks. "Oh," he says. And then, "I'm sorry."_

_Kageyama nods._

_"I'll go now," his old friend says. "Remember, tell me if you need me."_

_Kageyama watches him leave. With that, he holds Iwaizumi - strong, patient Iwaizumi - at an arm's length, a safe distance. Kageyama doesn't need him, he has Suga and his new flock, and if that falls apart, he has himself._

_Strangely, the universe always seems to want to prove him wrong._

 

Iwaizumi settles next to him on the park bench. For a while, neither of them say anything, exchanging only darting glances instead of words, getting used to the other's presence after so long. It's strange, a bit confusing - Kageyama has the impression of suddenly being underwater - but it's not awkward.

Iwaizumi speaks first.

"You've aged," he says, a bit wonderingly, eyes flickering over Kageyama's face.

"Well," Kageyama shrugs. "So have you."

There's nothing particularly funny about it, but Iwaizumi laughs a little. Kageyama cracks a smile. Even after everything, after the resentment and loneliness and abandonment, the familiarity of being with him makes him feel a tiny bit better.

"Thanks for coming," he says.

Iwaizumi blinks. "Suga told me what happened with Hinata," he says, almost hesitantly. He coughs. "I'm sorry."

Kageyama huffs a mirthless laugh. "Well, at least my feathers aren't falling off," he says, and it comes out bitter. Too bitter. He takes a breath, forces a more pleasant expression on his face, studying his hands. "So where have you been, lately?"

Iwaizumi raises an eyebrow. "You don't have to hide anything from me, Kageyama," he tells him. "We've known each other too long for that."

It's true, Kageyama supposes. So he drops the façade and looks Iwaizumi straight in the eye. "I feel like shit," he says bluntly.

"I guess that's to be expected," Iwaizumi says. He doesn't look away. "Tell me what you need."

 _I need to forget._  Kageyama presses his eyes shut. "Stay with me," he says, "Just until it's all over."

"Okay," Iwaizumi says quietly.

The tension seeps out of Kageyama's body, leaving him feeling heavy and tired. With a sigh, he rests his head on Iwaizumi's shoulder. The action feels familiar and safe, soothing in its nostalgia. He feels the other boy relax. There are words rising up dangerously from somewhere buried within him, but Kageyama doesn't swallow them down - it's Iwaizumi he's talking to, and there's never been much room for secrets between the two of them.

"I was angry at you when you left me alone," he murmurs quietly. "Sometimes, I still am."

"I know," says Iwaizumi. "I'm sorry."

"But I did miss you," Kageyama tells him. "You were a good friend."

"Was I?" Iwaizumi asks. He sounds strange.

Kageyama looks up at him through heavy-lidded eyes. "Well, you're here now, aren't you?"

Iwaizumi lets out a breath. "Yeah," he says. "As long as you need me."

"Thank you," says Kageyama. He's still sad, maybe he'll be sad forever, but at least he's not lonely anymore.

 

The first few days, they don't stray far, remaining in the flock's park. Strangely, nobody teases them for their closeness, perhaps because of Kageyama's fragile state, even if they sleep so close together that he can hear Iwaizumi's ghostly heartbeat in his chest. It's strong and dependable, slower than Hinata's, and it lulls him into slumber just as well as his voice. The spiky-haired boy stays true to his word - there is barely a minute of any day where they are apart.  They talk, about trivial little things, always steering clear of Hinata, but more often than not there is companionable silence. It's a nice change, to have someone be by his side so consistently, to be able to trust in someone so much. It's easier to not get lost in his memories when he's not alone.

His dreams are a different matter. They're the only place where Iwaizumi can't follow him, and almost every time he falls asleep, Hinata is waiting for him there, eyes bright. If Kageyama's lucky, he relives their night together on the mountain. If he's not, Hinata wails at him for abandoning him and takes apart his wings, feather by feather. Either way, he wakes up with tears in his eyes.

It's easier than he thought it would be, to settle into the old familiar pattern of living with Iwaizumi. Kageyama's grateful for him, and after a while his presence becomes something that's normal, expected. Perhaps Shimizu needed someone like Iwaizumi too, but she didn't know it. Thinking about her makes Kageyama guilty - it's almost been a month, but he still hasn't visited her once. There is only so much pain he wants to see, and he carries quite a bit of it himself. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he realizes that he's utterly selfish in his grief, but like other ugly things, he buries the thought deep inside himself.

If only he could bury Hinata too.

 

It's a bit later when Suga tells them to leave.

It isn't a rude, we-want-to-get-rid-of-you kind of thing, but more of a you-two-should-get-closer thing. Kageyama stands there, utterly confused, while Iwaizumi nods with a straight face.

"Not permanently, of course," Suga says. "It'll be good for Kageyama. He hasn't flown far since, well…" He winces.

Iwaizumi ruffles Kageyama's hair. "What do you think?"

Kageyama looks at him. "If that's what you want."

"I don't mind," Iwaizumi says, shrugging. 

"Okay," says Kageyama. Suga looks far too happy at his answer, and Kageyama narrows his eyes at him, but the silver-haired boy flies off quickly to find Daichi, who's lounging with the rest of the crowchildren a distance away.

"What was that about?" he asks Iwaizumi.

The other boy gives him a look. "I thought you knew?"

Kageyama shakes his head. "Tell me."

"They want us to  _bond_ ," Iwaizumi says, and he has a mischievous little grin on his face. " _Alone_."

Kageyama frowns for a moment, then it hits him. He gapes. "You're not serious."

"It's kind of obvious." The spiky-haired boy shrugs.

Kageyama buries his face in his hands. "This is so  _embarrassing_."

Iwaizumi laughs, throws an arm around his shoulders. "Don't worry about it,  _sweetheart_."

"Oh, shut up," Kageyama growls. But he starts to laugh a bit, too. "Do you think it's cause we sleep together?"

Iwaizumi looks younger when he's smiling, more like the boy Kageyama saw join the flock so many years ago. "Are you saying you want to  _stop_  sleeping together?"

"I'm not going to dignify that with an answer," Kageyama says.

"Don't," says Iwaizumi. "I feel like it'll just be embarrassing for both of us."

"You're right," Kageyama says.

"So," says Iwaizumi, "How about it? Flying wherever for a couple of weeks, work when we have to. Just like old times."

"It sounds okay," Kageyama agrees. Maybe he'll sleep better if he's far away.

"Alright, then." The other boy nods. "Let's go."

Kageyama's eyes widen. "Now?"

Iwaizumi shrugs. "Unless you want to wait?"

"No," Kageyama says quickly. "No, it's okay. Let's go."

 

They say a quick goodbye to everyone, Noya's eyebrows moving up and down so fast Kageyama's face almost hurts looking at him. Now that most of the flock think that he and Iwaizumi are a pair, they stop pitying him as much and start teasing him instead, which is almost a welcome change. Only Tsukishima seems to see through him, giving him long searching glances that Kageyama doesn't return.

Then they leave, and the sky flows smoothly under their wings. Iwaizumi's wingtip brushes Kageyama's as he guides him, tracing an arc in the darkening sky. He stretches out his feathers, his strong, healthy wings that catch the wind at just the right angle so that he can chase the sun. They fly fast and far, over towns and cities and fields. Iwaizumi's wings are powerful too, even though they're a bit shorter than his, and the sound of both their wingbeats is repetitive and soothing. They land when the sun sets in a woodland meadow, where fireflies shine like miniscule flitting stars.

"Where are we?" Kageyama asks, after he moults his feathers.

"No idea," Iwaizumi responds, sinking to the ground beside him. "Away."

"Oh." Kageyama sits down beside him on a flat stone.

"Why?" Iwaizumi asks, casting him a glance. "Did you have somewhere in mind?"

Kageyama shakes his head.

"Let's just keep doing whatever this is, then," Iwaizumi says. He stretches out and lies down on his side, sighing tiredly. Kageyama watches him a bit before lying down beside the other boy. Iwaizumi's taller than him, more muscular too. Letting out a breath, Kageyama moves closer to him, burying his face into the boy's chest.

"Sing for me," he murmurs.

So Iwaizumi does, wrapping a protective arm around Kageyama as he hums a wordless lullaby. Kageyama can feel it through his body.

 

"You know," Kageyama remarks lightly to Iwaizumi one day, "Some boys would kill to be me right now." Ever since he's gotten over his crush on Iwaizumi, there are a lot more things he can talk about to the other boy.

Iwaizumi grins lazily at him. "Would they?"

Kageyama hums. "Yeah, like half of our old flock, for instance." He frowns. "You're a boy magnet."

The other boy laughs. Kageyama likes his laugh. "That is  _not_  true."

"It  _is_ ," Kageyama argues.

"What did I ever do to give you that impression, dumbass?" Iwaizumi asks, still laughing.

" _You_  didn't," Kageyama says. "Other people did." He frowns. "Dumbass."

Iwaizumi stops laughing abruptly, a troubled look coming over his face as if he's just remembered something. "Oh, well -"

"See?" Kageyama demands triumphantly. "I was right, wasn't I?"

"Not really," Iwaizumi shoots him a glare. "It's just that… when I was alive, there  _was_  a boy who said he fell in love with me."

"Exactly."

"Shut up, Tobio."

Kageyama gives a start at the name, but relaxes quickly. It's not exactly unnatural - they've known each other for so long.

"Okay," he says. "Hajime."

They go to sleep after that.

 

The days are peaceful, almost indistinguishable from the past. They fly anywhere during daylight, as far as they can, and at night they wander towns and cities or forests and fields as ghosts. They tell each other stories, but much of the time, they are silent. Between them, they do not need words to speak. Little glances and gentle touches are often quite enough. It is a wonderful serenity that Kageyama didn't know he craved. Wonderful, but truly fragile.

 

Kageyama is dreaming.

There's a flower in his hands, and he walks quietly into the familiar expanse of Hinata's backyard. Waiting for him, sitting on the back porch, is Hinata, vibrant, brilliant Hinata who catches his eye, smiling wide and true. He springs up and leaps towards Kageyama, no wheelchair in sight, and Kageyama can't help but feel so, so happy as he holds the familiar warmth of his skinny body close to him.

"You came back!" Hinata exclaims, looking up at him.

 _I'm dreaming_ , Kageyama reminds himself, looking at Hinata's legs. "No," he says. "I didn't. I'm dreaming."

Dream-Hinata bounces on his toes and pouts. His emotions are almost a bit too exaggerated. "I  _miss_  you. Come back, won't you?"

"I can't," Kageyama tells him despairingly, "I can't, you told me not to!"

"Well, I'm telling you to come back now," Hinata says, and Kageyama feels a soft brush of lips against his cheek. It seems so real, all of it. He doesn't want to wake up, not now, not ever.

"I promised you that I'd forget you," Kageyama mumbles. "I can't come back, or I'll never forget -"

"You have to," says dream-Hinata. "I love you."

And even though this is a dream, Kageyama feels something inside him quake, feels a thrill run through his body at the words.  He can't speak.

"I love you," Hinata says again. Kageyama holds him closer. The edges of the dream are beginning to blur, like a cheap movie effect, everything melting away, even Hinata -

"No," Kageyama protests desperately. "No, no, don't go yet. Not yet, please, no -"

"Come home to me, Tobio," Hinata whispers, before he crumbles into sand between Kageyama's fingers.

 

He wakes up sweating.

Iwaizumi is still sleeping, and Kageyama wakes him up by shaking him gently. He's always been a light sleeper.

"Tobio?" the other boy murmurs groggily. "What is it?"

"How far are we from home?"

Iwaizumi rubs his eyes, blinks. "Not that far, we circled back a few weeks ago. Why?"

"I want to go home," Kageyama half-lies.

Iwaizumi sits up. Even in the dark, his gaze is piercing. "No, you don't. You wouldn't wake me up in the middle of the night if you just wanted to go home. Tell me the truth."

"I need to see Shouyou," Kageyama says quietly. "I need to."

Iwaizumi looks at him unblinkingly, already fully awake. "That's not fair," he finally says. "That's not fair to me and Suga and everyone else who wants to help you heal. Or to yourself."

"Please," Kageyama pleads. "Just once. One last time. He won't even know I'm there." He presses his head into Iwaizumi's chest.

Iwaizumi closes his eyes. "Selfish," he says, "You're so selfish."

"At least _I'm_  not leaving you behind without telling you why," Kageyama shoots back, then freezes. That was a low blow. Beside him, Iwaizumi stills.

"Yeah," the spiky-haired boy finally says. He huffs a mirthless laugh. "I guess that's true."

"Sorry," Kageyama whispers against his chest. "I didn't mean to -"

"Yes, you did," Iwaizumi says. "But it's okay." He sighs. "Come on, then. We'll go home."

Kageyama lets out a breath. "Thank you, Hajime," he murmurs. "Thank you."

 

It's morning when they arrive. Kageyama's heart is in his throat.

"I'll go tell Suga what's going on," Iwaizumi says. "You do what you have to do."

Kageyama nods and watches him as he dons his wings and flies away with a few powerful beats of his wings, before turning away and walking in the direction of the house he knows so well. His footfalls make no sound, but just being here, so close and yet so far, is enough to make him short of breath, like the air is too thin.

Then finally, he's there, at the front of the house, and a thrill of  _something_  runs through him at the sight of Hinata, standing, leaning against the wall, back to Kageyama. He's grown a bit taller in the last few months, hair a bit longer and thicker, maybe even filled out a bit. Something in his chest flares up at just seeing him, something that he had been trying to extinguish. Kageyama watches from a distance, thinking of his dream.

_I love you._

_I love you._

_I love -_

"Shou-chan!"

Kageyama turns quickly with a spiteful feeling in his stomach, to see Oikawa running towards Hinata, arms outstretched.

"Tooru!" Hinata exclaims, and there is no mistaking the affection in his voice.

With a fluid grace, Oikawa picks him up and spins him around, laughing. Hinata is giggling, joyous. Finally, the older boy sets him down where he was before, and kisses him.

Judging by the way Hinata responds, it is nothing close to a first kiss, no, it looks practiced and familiar, a chaste little thing that manages to crack something inside Kageyama. He's suddenly reminded of the time they played Suga's game - it seems so long ago, now - when he was falling, falling without his wings. He should be happy, he knows, happy that Hinata has moved on and done what he couldn't, but all he wants to do is scream. But he doesn't. He just stands there.

When the two of them break apart, Oikawa looks over Hinata's shoulder and finds Kageyama's eyes, and he smiles. He says something to Hinata, helps him into his wheelchair, then pushes it into the backyard, reappearing a few minutes later. Kageyama waits, numb.

"Tobio-chan!" He sounds gloating, sickly sweet. Kageyama wants to strangle him.

Instead, he looks up at him, unblinking. "Oikawa."

"I thought you left," Oikawa says, leaning against the wall. "Shou-chan told me you weren't coming around anymore."

Kageyama grits his teeth. "It wasn't my choice."

Oikawa shrugs. "Whatever it was, I'm grateful for it." He smiles, cocks his head. "He's a good kisser."

"Shut  _up_." Kageyama glares at him. He's shaking, but he won't cry. Not this time. "You don't deserve him."

"And you did?" Oikawa demands. "You let him go, just like  _that_." He snaps his fingers.

Kageyama doesn't answer. Oikawa steps closer to him, until Kageyama can feel the other boy's breath.

"That's what I thought," he whispers. Suddenly, his eyes narrow and he takes a deep breath in through his nose.

"What are you -" Kageyama tries to move away.

Oikawa pins him in place with a firm grip. "Don't move." Then he sniffs him again. It makes Kageyama bristle.

Finally, he manages to push the taller boy off of him. " _Stop_  it!"

Oikawa stares at him with narrowed eyes. "I'd know that scent  _anywhere_ ," he hisses, and he looks furious now. "I've known it for  _years_. Where is he?"

"What the hell?" Kageyama demands.

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa snarls. "Where _is he_?"

"I don't know who you're talking about!" Kageyama hisses. He wants to leave, wants to never come back. Oikawa grabs him by the arm.

"Iwa-chan," he repeats, enunciating almost sarcastically. "Spiky black hair, should look sixteen, says 'dumbass' a lot." Oikawa spits out the last few words.  "He's dead."

 _Iwa-chan._  Kageyama's eyes widen.  _Iwaizumi._  He can't help the name that slips out. "Hajime?" he breathes.

The look on Oikawa's face can only be described as loathing. " _Hajime?_ " he echoes, the spite in his voice blistering. "You call him  _Hajime?_ "

Kageyama rips his arm out of Oikawa's grip. He'll probably have bruises. "Go to hell," he spits, before feathers ripple down his shoulders, covering his body and letting him flee the other boy's grasp. He flaps frantically when he's in the air, and his wings bear him away loyally from the storm.

 

Iwaizumi is waiting for him. He probably knows that nothing good has happened.

"We're leaving," Kageyama says.  _I don't ever want to come back._

Iwaizumi doesn't ask questions, and they take off immediately, flying for a few silent hours before lighting down in the middle of nowhere. Without a word, they lie down on the grass, Kageyama clinging to the other boy for dear life.

 

Kageyama doesn't dream, but he wakes up crying. Iwaizumi stirs and sits up, warm beside him.

"Tobio?" he murmurs, sleep-soft. "Are you okay?"

Kageyama opens his mouth to lie -  _yes, yes, I'm okay_  - but something cloudy muddles his mind and unbalances his heart. Without warning, he pulls Iwaizumi down, and their mouths meet. At first, the other boy doesn't kiss back, but after a moment, Kageyama feels him relax and part his lips, deepening the kiss. He sits up a bit to make the angle less awkward, looping his arms around Iwaizumi's neck as he feels the boy's hands on his waist, breathing hard. It's hot and desperate, more of a twisted act of comfort and pain than any true romantic affection, but he drinks in the sensation greedily anyways, and they kiss feverishly until they're breathless.

 

They don't mention it in the morning, only sitting side by side unspeaking, until Kageyama breaks the silence.

"You're the crowchild that Oikawa drove out." It's not a question.

Iwaizumi looks surprised, and a bit resigned. "You know him?"

"I hate him," Kageyama says flatly. "He and Hinata are friends. Well, more than friends now that I'm out of the picture." He laughs. It's not a pretty sound. "How do  _you_  know him?"

The other boy sighs, and Kageyama can almost see the secrets that lie heavy on his shoulders, ready to be set free. "We grew up together," he says. "He was my best friend. Everyone always made fun of him because he said that he could see ghosts and that crows could talk." Iwaizumi laughs dryly. "But even as a kid, he was brilliant."

Kageyama grits his teeth. Oikawa's worming his way into everything that's supposed to be Kageyama's. "How so?" he asks.

"Oh, he was good at anything he cared to be good at," Iwaizumi tells him. "But he was also a dumbass. He'd get lost in his own little world and it'd be my job to pull him out. Believe it or not, he could be pretty quiet at times, just thinking about things." There's a reluctant fondness in his voice as he absently traces over his feathers. "We were always together, but when we were eight, he was crossing the street with his head in the clouds and he didn't see or hear a thing. There was a car coming, and -"

Kageyama's eyes widen. "You pushed him out of the way."

"I did," Iwaizumi says, smiling sadly. "It hurt like a bitch, but all I remember thinking was about how he couldn't handle being on his own, how he'd get hurt again if I weren't there. And then I woke up again, with feathers." He sighs. "Oikawa was so happy when he saw me again - it was almost like nothing had changed. Even when I joined a flock, I visited him."

That explains his absences. Kageyama doesn't know how to take it all in. "Why did he make you leave?" he asks.

Iwaizumi looks up at him. "He didn't. I chose to leave."

Kageyama blinks. "Why?"

"He was thirteen," Iwaizumi says. "Thirteen, and he would still keep turning down dates and parties because he wanted to be alone with me." He shakes his head. "His parents were worried. It wouldn't be as much of a problem if I were alive, but it wasn't good for him.  _I_  wasn't good for him. So we fought, and I left. Barely a week before my birthday."

"Oh," says Kageyama. He remembers Iwaizumi's hopeless expression on that day.  _I messed up. I really messed up._

"And right before I left, he told me he loved me," Iwaizumi says quietly. "It was so hard to leave after that, but what could I do? What could I have done, Tobio?"

"Nothing," Kageyama finally answers. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry about you and Hinata," Iwaizumi tells him, after a pause.

"Don't be," Kageyama says. "It's not your fault."

They sit there for a while. Then, Iwaizumi laughs.

"We're so fucked up," he says. "God, we're so fucked up."

Kageyama blinks, taken aback, but then he laughs too. "Yeah," he agrees, "We really are."

 

They kiss quite often, at random moments during the day, whenever they need to. It's physical more than anything else, a way to distract them from the hurt and confusion. Kageyama doesn't complain - it's fun and it feels good, and every time their lips touch, he feels a twisted satisfaction like he's  _taking_  from Oikawa. Because if there's anyone that Oikawa could love more than Hinata, it's Iwaizumi.

 

"Did you love him?" Kageyama asks one night. "Oikawa, I mean."

Iwaizumi  runs a hand through the sand. He hesitates before speaking. "If I didn't, I do now."

Kageyama nods. It's what he expected.

 

The seasons pass. Kageyama doesn't really keep track - he doesn't need to. He still hasn't been able to forget Hinata, but he stops trying. Maybe he'll remember him forever. Hinata isn't the type of boy that people forget. _Well, I've never been good at keeping promises._  He and Iwaizumi are de facto partners now, even though they aren't much of a true couple. They're linked by time and proximity, and Kageyama can think of worse people to spend his time with. It's not unpleasant - they like each other quite a lot, but there's an unspoken fact between them:  _we don't truly belong to each other._  Kageyama wonders if Oikawa and Hinata are the same. Secretly, he hopes so.

He visits Shimizu the next fall. She's gotten a lot better, feathers growing back thick and glossy under Saeko's care. She doesn't blame him for leaving her alone, which he's grateful for, but he visits her as much possible anyways. Iwaizumi comes too - they get along fairly well. All in all, things begin to settle into routine, which is a little frightening. It's taken more than a year, but now that it's happened, Kageyama almost doesn't catch it.

They carry souls, and fly as much as they like. Iwaizumi sings, wordless little songs to soothe Kageyama's heart when he can't sleep. They kiss, too - it's almost a habit. Sometimes, they go a bit further than that, but never too far. The first time they do more than kissing, Iwaizumi apologizes afterwards.

"Why?" Kageyama asks. "It wasn't bad. Not for me, anyways."

"Yeah, it was fun." Iwaizumi shrugs. "I just feel like, well, like I'm using you, for some reason."

"I think," says Kageyama carefully, "We're both using each other, if you know what I mean." He winces. "That sounds worse than I thought it would."

Iwaizumi blinks. "No, I think I know what you're saying."

"You don't mind, do you?" Kageyama asks.

Iwaizumi smiles at him. He understands. "No."

"Good," says Kageyama, laughing a bit. "You know, Suga would be overjoyed if he knew what we were doing."

Iwaizumi chuckles. "Yeah, he wanted us to get together in the first place."

"We are together," Kageyama says. "Sort of." It's true. They're together in many respects, save for one.  _Sorry, Suga._

"Sort of," Iwaizumi echoes. He laughs.

He understands that too.

 

It's spring again when he sees Shimizu fly gracefully in the air, and his heart soars. She lands elegantly in front of him, moulting off her feathers. Kageyama embraces her joyously.

"How are you?" he asks, smiling.

She smiles back, small but sweet. "Wonderful." She nods at Iwaizumi, who nods back, a distance away. "Suga wanted to tell you something, and I said I would come."

Kageyama frowns. "Is it urgent?"

Shimizu stops smiling. "Yes," she answers. "Oikawa told us he wants to talk to you."

"Ugh." Kageyama's face twists. "Absolutely not -"

"Hinata can see us, Kageyama," Shimizu says quietly.

Kageyama stills. It's been years, and the only times he's seen the other boy's face is in dreams and memories. It always seems to come back to Hinata, Hinata with the fiery orange hair and beautiful laugh, the first person who stole Kageyama's heart and the first person who broke it. "Oh."

"He doesn't have much longer," Shimizu tells him. "So I think it'd be wise to at least give Oikawa a chance, and soon."

Kageyama nods wordlessly. "And then what happens after that?" He looks at the thick, healthy feathers on their arms.

Shimizu catches it. She reaches out and touches his shoulder. "You'll be strong enough, Kageyama."

"Will I?"

She smiles at him, all wisdom and understanding. "I don't know if I've ever told you this," she says. "But I have never once regretted meeting Hitoka. Not once."

"Okay," Kageyama whispers. "Okay."

He has to think about it.

 

Iwaizumi comes with him, just like last time.

"I'm gonna go talk to Daichi for a bit," he tells Kageyama. "Good luck. Don't be afraid to punch Oikawa if he gives you a reason to."

Kageyama nods.

Oikawa is waiting for him near the park, taller, more mature. He must be - what, eighteen or nineteen now? If possible, he looks a bit more pleasant, more like a typical good-looking young man and less like someone Kageyama wants to punch. Not that he wouldn't.

"Oikawa," he says, by way of greeting. There's a folder full of papers in the boy's arms.

"Tobio-chan!" Oikawa grins at him, cocky as ever. "You've grown up handsome!" It almost sounds like an insult.

"What do you want?" Kageyama asks flatly.

" _Manners_ , Tobio-chan," Oikawa says, winking. "But I'll cut to the chase." His smile disappears. "It's Shou-chan. You've heard by now, of course?"

Kageyama nods, swallowing. "How is he?"

"Physically, deteriorating just a little bit, but it's going to get worse," Oikawa says. "Mentally, just as strong as ever. He's really quite admirable."

Kageyama bites his lip.

"But that's only part of why I asked you to come," the brown-haired boy tells him. He holds up the folder. "This is the other part."

Kageyama frowns. "What is it?"

Oikawa doesn't answer his question. "You know," he says, "Shou-chan is a beautiful, wonderful boy, but I broke up with him a few months ago."

Kageyama gapes. "What?  _Why_?"

"I'm getting there," Oikawa says. He holds up the folder. " _This_  is why."

"What is it?" Kageyama asks again.

"He wrote you letters," Oikawa tells him, and there's a resigned smile on his face. "One for every month. I found them in his room, and being the jealous boyfriend that I am, I read a few." He shook his head wistfully. "I couldn't compete with you, even after all this time. So we talked about it, then we broke up. Very nicely. It was one of the nicest breakups that I've ever had the privilege to go through."

"You're shitting me," Kageyama says incredulously. It's too much to take in - the implications are too large.

" _Manners_ , Tobio-chan," Oikawa tells him again. "Don't be so insensitive. It did hurt quite a bit to get dumped, you know. I really did like him."

Kageyama rolls his eyes. "Sorry." He reaches out for the package. "So you wanted to give that to me?"

"I thought you should read them," Oikawa says, but he moves it away before Kageyama can grab it. "But on one condition."

Kageyama growls in frustration. " _What_?"

"I want Iwa-chan," Oikawa says cheerily. "Give him to me, and we'll trade. Don't try to tell me you don't know where he is; I can smell him all over you and it ticks me off."

"He's not mine to give," Kageyama mutters.

Oikawa sighs dramatically. "I didn't actually mean  _give him to me_ , stupid Tobio-chan. Just bring him here. Persuade him. I want to see him again."

"Fine," Kageyama says after a long moment, and leaves immediately, heading to the park.

 

He gets to Iwaizumi after everyone else tackles him with joy, save for Tsukishima, of course. It's nice to see them again - he and Iwaizumi visit once every few weeks.

"We need to talk," he says to Iwaizumi, who's lying on the bench, eyes closed.

The other boy's eyes open. "What's up?"

"I need you to do me a favour," Kageyama says. "A big one."

"I'll try," says Iwaizumi, and Kageyama suddenly realizes how much he owes the boy. "What is it?"

"I need something from Oikawa," Kageyama says, "Something to do with Hinata, but he won't give it to me until he sees you."

Iwaizumi huffs. He doesn't even look surprised. "Sounds like something he'd do. What a manipulative bastard."

Kageyama winces. "Sorry. You don't have to if you don't want to -"

"It's okay," Iwaizumi says. "It's something important that you want, right?" He cocks his head. "And if I'm being honest, it's not like I hate seeing him."

"Really?" Kageyama asks. He'd had the impression that Iwaizumi would avoid Oikawa to the ends of the earth.

The other boy nods. "We weren't best friends for nothing, you know."

Kageyama gags. "I don't get how you could stand being friends with him."

"I guess it's hard for you to see," Iwaizumi says, "But Oikawa can be a good person. All he's ever done is love too much."

"I wouldn't know about that," Kageyama responds. "So you'll go?"

Iwaizumi nods.

"Thanks," Kageyama tells him.

_Thank you, for everything._

 

The afternoon is coming to a close, almost blending into evening when Kageyama finds Oikawa. Iwaizumi follows behind him, wordless and contemplative, and it occurs to Kageyama that he might be nervous. He feels a twinge of guilt, then a prick of annoyance at Oikawa. The brown-haired boy is waiting for them at the same place, and smiles at him when he turns the corner, papers in hand.

"Well, Tobio-chan?" His words are minced, too forced. He's afraid, Kageyama realizes. "Did you bring what I asked for?"

Kageyama hears the familiar soft footfalls that come from behind him, but he doesn't turn. "See for yourself," he tells Oikawa, "And don't screw it up."

Oikawa's eyes widen as they look over his shoulder and find the boy standing behind him. There's a strange look on his face, like a thirsty man in a desert gazing greedily at water, and before Kageyama can react, he forces the package into his arms and pushes past him, as if in a trance. Clutching the papers, Kageyama whirls around.

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa breathes, and it sounds almost reverent.

Iwaizumi stands there, almost looking a little lost, but his eyes speak volumes - longing, joy, love, perhaps even a drop of sadness. He still doesn't move, even after Oikawa embraces him shakily, murmuring intelligible things into his neck. And then the brown-haired boy pulls back, only to lean their foreheads together, and Iwaizumi finally unfreezes, reciprocating the embrace.

"Oikawa," Kageyama hears him murmur. He laughs a little, broken but genuine. "Don't cry, you dumbass."

"I missed you so much, Iwa-chan," Oikawa whispers. "I love you, I love you."

Iwaizumi doesn't say anything back, only pulls the other boy down into a kiss. Everything about it feels raw, a bit wild and fierce, like two storms colliding. But with them together like this, Kageyama sees a different side of both boys, one that's whole and honest, cast in gold from the setting sun. It's beautiful, in a way, though not for his eyes. So he leaves them, quietly walking away to the park.

 

When he knows that he is alone, Kageyama takes out the letters. The first one is the oldest, from almost three years ago. With a heavy but bright feeling in his chest, he skims it over. It's short, written in blue ink. Hinata's handwriting is surprisingly legible.

 

_Dear Kageyama Tobio,_

_I'm alive, and I miss you. I'm sorry that I hurt you, but I didn't know what else to do. I don't want to be the person who breaks your heart by dying._

 

And then, a few weeks later:

 

_Dear Kageyama Tobio,_

_I had a dream about you. It was nice, and I miss you._

_Natsu made cookies with me today._

 

_Dear Kageyama Tobio,_

_Do you think of me? I want you to, and at the same time I want you to forget._

_I hope you're flying._

 

_Dear Kageyama Tobio,_

_I have a plant in my room now. It's going to live forever, just like you._

_This pen is the same colour of your eyes! It's pretty._

 

They go on, tens upon tens of simple little sentences, becoming neater and more complex as the days pass. Something inside Kageyama melts a little. He can almost hear Hinata talking, telling him about flowers and Natsu, his mother and father, Oikawa, reaching out to him through the pages. Kageyama reads and re-reads, and his heart feels full.

And then only one letter remains, the most recent one, dated from a few weeks back. Kageyama smoothes it out with shaking hands.

 

_Dear Kageyama Tobio,_

 

_A week ago, I stopped seeing Tooru. Well, not really stopped seeing him - he still comes by every day, but we don't kiss anymore. Tooru was the one who brought it up, and he was very nice about It, too. He told me about how he knew that he was second to you, and then he thanked me. I thanked him too, because it's a nice thing, to love and to be loved back, even if it wasn't meant to last._

_It hurt a bit, though, the way your arm gets sore after a particularly painful needle. But it wasn't bad, not in the least. It's nothing I regret. I decided that the rest of this short little life of mine wouldn't have any regrets._

_I saw Shimizu yesterday, and I know what that means for me. We talked. She was very pretty, so different from last time._

_And then I thought of you. Stupid, beautiful Kageyama Tobio. And I realized. You're my biggest regret, Tobio. I could've lived out the last three years with you by my side, if I'd been more selfish. I've cried over you and missed you and dreamed about you, and if I have to leave this earth for good without seeing you again, I don't think I could stand it._

_So I'm giving this to Tooru to send to you, and I'm asking you now, Tobio, to come visit me again. If you can't, or you don't want to, I understand. I really do. But if you do, I think I can safely say that we will be the happiest boys in the universe. And isn't that the whole point?_

 

_Your best friend,_

_Hinata Shouyou_

 

Kageyama comes undone. He cries.

 

"Hey," says Shimizu as Kageyama settles down beside her.

"Hey," Kageyama responds. And then, "I don't know what to do anymore."

"Was it the letters?" Shimizu asks. Kageyama gives her a look. "Oikawa told me about them."

Kageyama buries his face in his hands. The papers lie safely in his lap. "Yeah," he says thickly.

"He never wanted to send them, you know," the girl tells him. "He really did want you to forget about him before he died. But then he saw me, the other day, saw that I got better, even after Hitoka, so he decided to try one last time."

"I don't know what I should do," Kageyama says despairingly. "I want to see him, I miss him, but I'm afraid, Shimizu."

"Afraid of what?" Shimizu asks gently. "Afraid of being hurt? Afraid of breaking, like I did?"

Kageyama looks at her. She looks so beautiful, and strangely, there's a patient joy in her eyes. He nods, once. "His life is so short." It scares him a bit, to say it out loud. "He'll be gone before I know it."

"Oh, Kageyama," Shimizu says lovingly, reaching out to touch his face. "Things aren't beautiful because they last long, you know. You don't weep at a flower because it's going to wilt."

Kageyama begins to cry again, silent tears trickling down his cheek, and Shimizu wipes them away with gentle fingers. "It takes courage to love," she says, "So be strong, and be brave. I'll always be here - so will Iwaizumi and Suga and everyone else, and we won't let you be alone like I was after Hitoka left." Her smile is warm, and she holds Kageyama's head gently to her chest.

"I never forgot him," Kageyama whispers. "I never could."

"I can tell," Shimizu says. "You haven't stopped growing with him." She strokes his hair. "How old is he now? Fifteen? Sixteen?"

"Sixteen," Kageyama murmurs.

"You've both waited long enough, don't you think?" she asks. "Don't make him wait any longer."

Kageyama takes a deep breath. He wipes his tears.

"I won't." 

 


	9. sunset

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're almost done!  
> I'm terribly sorry for the huge gap between this chapter and the last. I feel like I've never truly had writer's block until now LOL  
> Without further ado, here is the ninth chapter. I hope you enjoy it! :)

Kageyama finds Iwaizumi sitting on one of the benches at the park, looking out at Daichi's flock below. He seems to be thinking, eyes slightly unfocused, but pulls himself out of his thoughts when Kageyama settles down beside him.

"You figure things out with Oikawa?" he asks Iwaizumi, after a moment of amiable silence.

The other boy shrugs. "For now, I guess."

 Kageyama hums approvingly. "That's good."

The day has ended, the sky just beginning to blend with the deep black-blue of night. Kageyama takes a breath before speaking again.

"I've decided," he says, "To visit Shouyou one last time."

Iwaizumi turns to look at him. "I thought you would."

Kageyama blinks at the other boy's unsurprised demeanour.

"It was kind of obvious, you know?" Iwaizumi continues. "That you never let go of him. Even when we were - together, for lack of a better word."

"I -" Kageyama doesn't exactly know what to say. The spiky-haired boy is smiling. "I guess."

"Well, it was fun while it lasted," Iwaizumi says. He's still smiling. "You and me, I mean."

"Yeah," Kageyama says, remembering. "It was, wasn't it?" _Was._

Iwaizumi laughs - a clear, warm sound, and Kageyama is struck with a sudden swell of emotion. It's a strange feeling, sort of like a door was just closed in his face, but perhaps it was never meant for him to pass through, or maybe it wasn't even open to begin with. Without warning, he wraps his arms around the other boy and hugs him close, burying his face into Iwaizumi's chest like he's done so many times before, drinking in his warmth. Kageyama's almost sad as he feels Iwaizumi embrace him, but not quite - there's only the slight melancholy that flickers through his chest at the realization that something is ending. It all feels a bit like an odd farewell of sorts, even though neither of them is leaving.

"Hey," Iwaizumi says quietly, running a hand soothingly through his hair. "It's not like we won't ever see each other again, you know."

"I know," Kageyama says, and it comes out muffled. "But still."

"But still," Iwaizumi echoes.

"It'll be different."

"It will." After a moment, Iwaizumi speaks again. "Do you ever wonder why we didn't work out? We were practically perfect for each other, weren't we?"

Kageyama huffs a laugh. "I guess." He shifts so that he can look the other boy in the eye. "But maybe being perfect for each other isn't really being _perfect_ for each other, you know?"

He feels the vibration of Iwaizumi's laugh through his chest. "So you're basically saying that we were _too_ perfect?"

"It's possible." Kageyama smiles. "How else could you explain this?"

"You're right," Iwaizumi says.

They're silent for the next few minutes, and Kageyama watches Iwaizumi as the spiky-haired boy gazes out at the darkening sky. He looks composed, contemplative, and Kageyama almost envies his near-unshakeable calm. He can't help but feel slightly on the edge of tears himself, though they're not tears of sadness. But then, Iwaizumi's always been like that - if Oikawa is a true summer storm, wild and capricious, then Iwaizumi is deep-running water, still, serene, reflective.

Kageyama squeezes his eyes shut. "Thank you," he says, "For everything."

Iwaizumi doesn't speak, only pulls him a bit closer, and they just sit there contentedly, feeling the night come into existence, velvety-black against their skin.

_What a strange way to say goodbye._

 

The morning comes clear and cool, the sun kissing the edge of the earth as it bathes the clouds in warm colours. The muted orange makes Kageyama smile lazily, as his heart quickens in his chest.

 _Shouyou,_ he suddenly thinks, with a mixture of excitement and apprehension.

He sits up abruptly, blinking the sleep out of his eyes. He's alone on the bench - the rest of the flock is sleeping in the park below.

"He's awake," a voice says behind him, and Kageyama spins around to see Iwaizumi.

"What?"

"Shouyou," Iwaizumi says. "I saw him, sitting in his backyard." He smiles. "I told him that you were coming. You should've seen his face."

Kageyama stands up, fast. His heart's already beginning to race. "Was he happy?"

Iwaizumi nods. "Euphoric," he says. "He's been waiting for you." He claps Kageyama on the shoulder. "Go get him."

Kageyama's too excited to feel embarrassed. "Yeah," he says, almost croaks. "Yeah."

"Well, don't just stand there," Iwaizumi says fondly. He gives him a soft push. "Go on."

Kageyama's steps are almost shaky at first, his legs almost acting of their own accord, guiding him to where he knows he has to go. He barely takes in everything around him - the people, the houses, everything around him are dreamlike, unimportant. What matters is who waits for him at his destination, a boy with the sunset in his hair and stars in his eyes, a boy with a petal-soft heart and a warm, golden smile that reminds him of home.

Kageyama breaks into a run, the sidewalk rough against his bare feet, but he doesn't even notice. _Shouyou_ , he thinks. _Shouyou_.

And then he's there, the grass cool and dewy under his toes, a thrill running through his whole body as he stops in his tracks, gasping softly. Everything looks different, the trees slightly taller, summer flowers blooming more spectacularly than they had three years ago, but it's still the _same_ , so similar to the past that Kageyama almost can't breathe for the powerful wave of nostalgia that hits him.

And in the midst of it all, there's Hinata, sitting in his wheelchair, back towards Kageyama. His head is tilted upwards into the sun, and Kageyama has no doubt that he's smiling. He tries to speak but he can't - his heart is too full, so all he does is take one silent step after the other, until he's close enough to touch him -

Hinata turns around.

He's changed in the last three years, face slightly more angular, framed by longer orange hair. But his eyes are the same, just as bright and youthful as ever, filled with joy and affection and something else that makes Kageyama unable to look away. There's no hesitation this time, no awkwardness, just the two of them reaching out, grasping and pulling each other closer, so close and so tight that it hurts.

"Tobio, oh, _Tobio_ -" Hinata sounds like he's almost sobbing, but Kageyama feels a burst of laughter through his chest.

" _Shouyou_ ," Kageyama whispers, and it comes out soft and strangled. He buries his face in Hinata's neck, breathing him in. He's ended up kneeling on the ground, and he's grateful for it because he thinks he wouldn't be able to stand. " _Shouyou_."

There's so much more to say, but neither of them knows how to say it, so Kageyama pulls him down into a desperate kiss, feeling Hinata's lips, soft and familiar against his. When they break apart, they're both gasping for breath, but they're smiling. Kageyama doesn't know how long they stay like that, wrapped up in each other, holding each other so tightly, occasionally sharing clumsy, feathery-light kisses and whispering names and broken sentences.

When they're finally coherent and dry-eyed, Kageyama disentangles himself from Hinata's arms and sinks down beside his wheelchair onto the grass. The sun is higher in the sky now; the day has begun. He reaches out and laces their fingers together.

"I'm glad that my parents didn't see that," Hinata finally remarks, laughing a bit.

Kageyama chuckles. "That would be… awkward. Can you imagine the questions?"

"I don't want to," Hinata says.

"Where are they?" Kageyama asks.

"Inside, getting ready for work," Hinata says. "They barely leave me by myself if they can help it, but I asked them to let me be alone in the mornings." He blushes a bit. "I figured, if you ever did come by, that'd be when."

"Well, you weren't wrong," Kageyama says, smiling.

Hinata grins back at him. "You've changed," he says. "You look so much older."

"And taller," Kageyama says, "Unlike you."

" _Rude_!" Hinata says indignantly. "It's been three years, Tobio. At least say something nice before you bully me."

"Sorry, sorry," Kageyama says, chuckling. He runs a finger over Hinata's knuckle. "I missed you, you know."

"That's better," Hinata responds, smiling. "I missed you too."

"Oh," Kageyama says suddenly. "I forgot to bring you a flower."

"It's okay," says Hinata. "I don't need a flower. Not today."

Kageyama smiles. It feels like his heart has just begun to beat, and there's a slight thrill that runs in the undercurrent of his blood. He wonders how he could have ever contemplated staying away from the boy beside him.

"I'm so happy you came," Hinata says quietly.

Kageyama looks at him, into his soft brown eyes that glow with everything they are trying to say. Hinata's hand is warm and familiar in his.

"Me too," he says.

It is summer again, the sun shining warm and bright on their skin, and they are together once more.

 

Mornings and nights belong to them, when Hinata is alone. They sit beside each other and talk, catch up on everything that they've missed the past three years, whispering so as not to concern Hinata's parents. During the daytime, Kageyama stays silently near the other boy as he spends time with his family. Now that they're together after being apart for so long, he's loath to let any moment go to waste.

"My cough's beginning to come back," Hinata tells him one night, while they lie pressed together side by side on his bed, which is just a bit too cramped for the both of them.

Kageyama flips onto his side so he can see the other boy better in the faint light. He traces the dip of Hinata's chest with his fingers. "Does it hurt?"

"Not yet," Hinata says quietly. "I knew it was coming, but - I'm scared, Tobio."

Kageyama kisses the hollow of his throat. "Don't be," he murmurs. "No more regrets, remember?"

"Yeah," breathes Hinata. "You're right." With that, he curls up against Kageyama's body, each fitting perfectly against the other. Almost on instinct, Kageyama holds the shorter boy closer to him with a gentle arm around his waist.

"Are you tired?" he asks.

"Not really. Are you?"

"No."

"We're going to the beach tomorrow."

Kageyama laughs softly. "The beach?"

Hinata looks up at him through his lashes. "Come," he tells him. As if Kageyama would even consider refusing. 

"Of course," he says, smiling softly.

_The beach, huh?_

 

The water is warm and clear around Kageyama's ankles. The weather has stayed pleasant, a bit on the warmer side but still lovely. Today, the ocean is serene and playful, and Kageyama can sometimes see small shoals of silver fish darting around his feet. Near him, Hinata is picking out pretty shells with Natsu, giving an exclamation of excitement whenever they stumble on something special. Their parents linger at the edge of Kageyama's vision, watching from the shade of a large umbrella. The whole thing gives off a feeling that's wonderfully calm, almost ordinary, and Kageyama is content just to be there, and watch.

Somewhere in the distance, he hears the cries of the gulls, shrieking in their strange language, and he turns to see a horde of them fighting over what seems to be a piece of fish, seafoam-white and pale gray against the blue of the sky. Then he blinks, squinting. There's a small, familiar black shape among the paleness, quick and darting, more agile and quick in flight than the gulls. He hears crow-laughter as the little black bird makes off with the fish, raucous cawing that carries across the water, and he smiles. _Nishinoya._

The crow turns tail and flees towards the trees near the beach, followed by a flock of furious gulls, disappearing into the leaves. 

"Unbelievable," a familiar voice behind him says disapprovingly, but there's a tinge of laughter in it. Kageyama spins around, taken by surprise. 

"Suga!" 

The other boy smiles at him. "Did you think we'd give up the chance to hang out with your fiancé again?"

Kageyama groans.

"That being said," Suga says, "Stop looking so glum. You did invite us." 

"Yeah," Kageyama mumbles. "I invited you because I thought it'd be fun, not so you could embarrass me."

"Too bad," Suga tells him cheerfully. 

Kageyama groans again. 

"Oh, look," the other boy says, turning towards the beach. "They're finally here."

He's right - Kageyama sees the whole flock a distance away, on the top of a dune, making their way to the water, chattering amongst themselves. He smiles - he can't help it. Hinata raises his head, though Natsu is oblivious, then catches sight of the approaching feathered children. He grins, wide and gleeful, turning towards Kageyama, giving Suga a quick little wave. The silver-haired boy smiles back. 

In a moment, the water ripples irregularly as a whole flock of spectral children splash their way into the water, unnoticed by mostly everybody. Hinata's eyes light up as they come closer, and he looks like he's containing his joy, probably to avoid questions from his family, so he just nods and grins silently at everyone who comes to greet him. 

" _Kageyama_!" Nishinoya makes his way towards him, hair already soaked and falling over his eyes, which are as bright as ever. He bends down and flicks some water at Kageyama's face, and Kageyama flinches back.

"Noya," Asahi chastises gently.

The shorter boy ceases the water-flicking, but bounces on his toes as he fairly shouts in Kageyama's face. "Your fiancé got cuter!"

Sitting off to the side with Yamaguchi and Natsu on either side, Hinata snorts.

"I know," Kageyama says, sighing. "And he's not my fiancé."

"Well, he should be," Nishinoya says, then skips off, splashing more water and leaving Kageyama stunned.

"That's a thought," Suga says beside him, chuckling. "Aww," he coos, "You're blushing!"

"Am _not_ ," Kageyama grumbles, looking away.

"Whatever you say," Suga says loftily before making his way to Daichi, and Kageyama's left glaring after him.

 

The day flies by, minutes flowing away as quickly as sand through Kageyama's fingers as the sun begins to dip towards the horizon, and the afternoon finds him sitting close beside Hinata under the sun. The others - Hinata's family and the flock - have all opted to play in the water at the moment, so he takes the chance that's been offered to him. A little breeze has picked up, nothing strong, just a little breath of air, but Hinata shivers a bit anyways. Kageyama presses closer to him, trying to warm him.

"Thank you," Hinata says quietly. It must've been a pain to have to stay silent to the crowchildren in front of his family.

"Do you need a towel or something?" Kageyama asks.

"I'm okay," Hinata says. He smiles up at him. "Thank you," he says again, "For all this." He gestures out at the feathered children. "I missed them."

"You're welcome," Kageyama says. "They adore you, you know."

Hinata laughs, resting his head gently on Kageyama's shoulder. "That's nice of them," he says. And then, "What about you?"

Kageyama blinks. "What do you mean?"

Hinata shifts so that his chin is on Kageyama's shoulder instead, and they're face-to-face, so very close. Kageyama's cheeks begins to feel warm, but he can't look away. "Do you adore me?" he asks, and he's smiling, slow and sure, and it reminds Kageyama of the first time they met - _Am I pretty?_

He swallows, gaze flicking down to Hinata's lips for a mere second before meeting his eyes again. "Do I really need to answer that question?"

Hinata laughs, suddenly turning away and looking out over the water. Kageyama swallows down a strange mix of relief and disappointment. "You know," the other boy says, "At one point, I tried to hate you, Tobio. Because I thought - I thought that it'd be easier like that." His eyes are unfocused, and there's a resigned little smile on his face. "But the thing is that just because you hate someone, it doesn't mean that you can't love them at the same time."

Kageyama's breath hitches with all the implications of what Hinata's saying.

"Because I do," Hinata says, and turns to look up at Kageyama with eyes made luminous from the soft glow of the sun. "I love you."

Kageyama can't describe what he's feeling - it's a silvery swirl that flutters lightly around inside his chest that he can't contain, making its way out of his throat as a giddy, soft laugh. Without hesitation, he leans forward to press his lips against Hinata's, bringing his hand up to cradle the boy's face. He feels Hinata respond, and the kiss is sweet and slow and a little bit heated, so when they stop, it's like he's been underwater, coming up for air.

"Me too," Kageyama says, and he can tell he's grinning like an idiot, but he's too euphoric to care. "I love you too."

"You better," Hinata says, smiling widely back at him.

They sit on the now-cooling sand as the day begins to come to an end, pressing close to each other silently. The gulls are crying their lilting calls, the ocean whispering as it laps against the shore. The air has a fresh tang of salt to it, and Kageyama watches the sun set, vibrant Hinata-orange against the golden clouds, and -

The world has never been more beautiful.

 

Hinata begins to cough a few days after that, a light grating sound that signals the return of the dormant sickness inside his lungs. He tries his best to hide it from his family, not wanting them to worry. But it gets harder and harder for him to do so, the shallow cough turning into something deeper, a hacking noise that makes Kageyama's heart clench. Hinata's afraid too - Kageyama can see it in his eyes.

"Tobio," Hinata whispers to him one night, when they lie close together, foreheads almost touching, "What's it gonna be like after all this?"

"What do you mean?" Kageyama asks, softly brushing a strand of Hinata's hair out of his eyes.  
"Where do people go afterwards?" Hinata says, eyes large and serious. "Where am I going?"

Kageyama swallows. He knows this is inevitable, but all the same, he'd hoped it could wait. "Well," he murmurs, "Everyone who deserves it eventually end up at the city in the sky."

"The city in the sky…" Hinata sounds contemplative.

"That's what most of the crowchildren call it," Kageyama says, "But it could just as well be a town, a world."

"Do you know what it looks like?" Hinata asks softly.

"Bits of it, through the clouds - houses and trees and towers, I think." Kageyama lets out a small sigh. "When we carry souls, we bring them past the fields and set them down at a path or a bridge that leads to it, because we can't go on any farther."

"Oh," says Hinata. He sounds sad.

"But everyone else should be there," Kageyama says hurriedly, "Those who have already gone, and eventually, everyone's time comes. You won't be alone." Hinata stays silent, eyes downcast. "And - and I've heard from some other crowchildren that it looks wonderful."

"I see," Hinata finally murmurs, meeting Kageyama's eyes again. "Thank you, Tobio."

Kageyama kisses his forehead gently in response and watches as Hinata closes his eyes. There's a heavy melancholy that's settled over them both, clinging stickily to their skin like a sheen of sweat, threatening to shatter the fragile happiness of their numbered days. They lie in silence for a few minutes, far away from sleep.

"Hey," Kageyama says suddenly, struck by an idea. He can't help but grin. "Shouyou?"

"What is it?" Hinata says drowsily, eyes fluttering open.

"Do you wanna get married?"  
 

It's more of a generic celebration than a proper wedding, what with the circumstances, but all the same, it's enough to raise everyone's spirits. All of the flock manage to squeeze into Hinata's bedroom, chatting amongst themselves excitedly as everything is prepared. Kageyama sits on the opposite side of the room from Hinata, and every so often they exchange nervous, ecstatic little smiles that only serve to make his heart beat faster. Suga seems to be doing most of the work, cleaning the room and keeping the rowdy crowchildren in line.

They wait until Ennoshita calls out an "All clear!" from the hallway and hurriedly makes his way into the bedroom. Iwaizumi's there too, sitting calmly beside Shimizu, and he grins when Kageyama meets his eye. A hush falls over them as Suga rises to his feet, and Kageyama can hear the blood rushing in his ears. Hinata is quivering across from him, eyes bright and full of lustre.

His heart is overflowing as they murmur promises to each other, each soft-spoken word reverberating through his bones. No music plays, no rings are exchanged, and the motley crew of crowchildren are the only onlookers, but when they kiss, it seems like everything in the universe has fallen into place, if only for an instant, and it is wonderful beyond words.

 

The flock stays until a bit past midnight, then take their leave, one by one, flitting out through the window into the night after offering congratulations. Suga is the last one to leave, placing gentle kisses on their foreheads and giving a warm smile before taking off.

And then it's just the two of them left, sitting next to each other on Hinata's bed.

"Thank you," Hinata says quietly, and he's smiling, eyes bright.

Kageyama doesn't say anything at first, just wraps his arms around the smaller boy to hold him close against him, resting his chin on top of Hinata's head gently. His eyes feel a bit warm. The world is silent, the moon streaming in softly through the window.

"Are you still scared?" Kageyama whispers.

"No," Hinata says, and he sounds like he's smiling. "Not anymore."

On the nightstand, the clock ticks, unrelenting.

 

Barely a week later, Hinata ends up in the hospital. It's a bit different this time, everyone can tell - his face is ashen grey and he struggles to breathe more and more with every passing minute. Kageyama knows what's coming, but despite that, he can't help feeling like his heart is slowly being torn apart, piece by piece, with every hacking cough. Sometimes, he wants no more than to break down and weep, because the end is near, and he knows what that means. Ironically, the only thing holding him together is Hinata, still brave and full of vibrant joy even as his body wastes away.

Then the day comes when the doctor talks to Hinata's family in a sombre, apologetic tone, telling them what Hinata has known for almost a month. They take it hard, as Kageyama had known they would - the love they have for their son, their brother, is deep and unconditional. Love, he realizes, is a double-edged sword, the ability to hurt and be hurt by someone dear.

Much to Hinata's excitement, he has no shortage of visitors, both alive and not-so-alive. Izumin and Souji come by and talk to him of days long ago, trying to keep tears out of their eyes, though Kageyama sees the light-haired boy begin to weep as soon as he steps out of the room. Under Ennoshita, Narita, and Kinoshita's supervision, Tanaka and Noya run amok on chairs and hospital equipment while Yamaguchi talks to him animatedly about strangely trivial matters, such as the origin of freckles and Tsukishima's glasses. Everyone in the flock pays him a visit at least once - whether it's Shimizu, speaking to him softly on the language of flowers, Iwaizumi singing him to sleep, or Asahi telling him about volleyball. Suga and Daichi spin him stories, and even blunt, taciturn Tsukishima comes, to dispel whatever gossip that's been spread about his glasses. Hinata adores these little visits, Kageyama can tell, because he can pretend that everything is the same as before, if only for an hour or so.

Oikawa's visits are a bit more poignant, not as _Oikawa_ as Kageyama had expected it to be. He tries to put on a carefree façade for the first five minutes, then seems to remember that Hinata can see right through him anyways and kneels by his bed, trickling tears onto the smaller boy's chest and biting his lip. The words that drop from his lips are surprisingly tender, and strangely, Kageyama can't find it in himself to feel jealous or resentful. Neither can Oikawa, apparently, because even though he still seems to enjoy making a few digs at Kageyama, his gaze on him is no longer steely, and despite the boy's grief, he just looks… normal, not the fearsome creature of the past. Perhaps Iwaizumi was right - Oikawa's not really that bad of a person, at least not now.

Hinata writes quite a bit when Kageyama has to fly out and work, unable to ignore the tugging at his soul. He never lets him read it, so Kageyama doesn't press. He has an idea of what it is, anyways, and his heart twinges painfully whenever he thinks about it. Thinking. He's doing way too much of that these days. And when he sees Hinata's sleeping form, skinny chest rising shallowly as his closed eyes flicker through his dreams, it's all too easy to wonder, _what if?_ What if the boy's pale skin wasn't bare and smooth, but covered with lustrous black feathers? What if there really wasn't a place for him in the city of the sky, just like there aren't for everyone in the flock? It's a dangerous fantasy, tantalizing and selfish, but with Hinata's time ticking away far too quickly, Kageyama can't help it.

"I know what you're thinking," Suga tells him softly one night.

They're standing, side-by-side, watching over the quietly sleeping Hinata. The silver-haired boy's breath is cool on Kageyama's ear.

"Do you?" Kageyama responds. Of course he does. It's Suga, after all.

"I don't want to hurt you," Suga continues, and his voice is sad. "But his chances are slim."

Kageyama sighs, turns his gaze onto him. He feels cold all of a sudden, like he's exhaled all the warmth in that one breath. "I thought so," he murmurs. "He's too old, isn't he?"

"It's not just that," says Suga. "Hinata's not like us. We had empty lives, but his is full. He's lived a lot - he's lived _enough_."

Kageyama opens his mouth, bristling. Suga is crazy to think such a thing - Hinata has not lived close to enough. His expression must betray his thoughts, because the other boy reaches out a reassuring hand to stroke his hair.

"Oh, Kageyama," he says, in that sad, gentle voice of his which makes Kageyama feel like it's alright to cry, "That's not what I meant. But he's satisfied with what he's had, don't you see? His time with this world is almost over."

And Kageyama does. He remembers the brave, sweet way that Hinata comforts his sorrowful family and friends, his readiness and determination to write those letters. He remembers a whispered exchange in the soft night of their impromptu ceremony:

_Are you afraid?_

_No, not anymore._

"You're right," Kageyama says, voice cracking. "You're right." And it's like he's finally realized the gravity of the situation, the enormity of it. "You're -" He can't speak anymore, can only cling onto Suga as he begins to sob into his shoulder, as quietly as possible.

He doesn't want Hinata to wake up and see him cry.

 

The days after that are heavy, bittersweet. More often than not, he curls up with Hinata in the bed, soothing him when he coughs, talking with him, kissing, grasping desperately at the minutes that slip away ruthlessly. By now, he's memorized every dip and curve of Hinata's body, the soft sweetness of his lips and mouth, like an oft-read map.

"You're beautiful, you know," he murmurs into Hinata's hair. It's something that he feels like he has to say.

Hinata's voice is faint and weak now, but lovely nonetheless. "I should hope so," he says, laughing softly. "But thank you."

"Really, you are," Kageyama says.

Hinata smiles and presses a kiss to Kageyama's cheek. They're so close their foreheads are touching, and he can feel the other boy's soft breath on his face when he speaks. Hinata's brown eyes are dark and soft, and the way he looks at Kageyama, full of a warm intensity, makes him feel like he's melting.

"Tobio?"

"Yeah?"

Hinata's gaze doesn't waver, though his voice is shaky and on the verge of a cough. "Can I ask something selfish?"

"Of course," Kageyama answers.

"I don't have long," Hinata tells him, and it's a blow to his gut. "So could you - could you please not leave me, until then?"

Kageyama swallows down his terror, his grief, and forces a smile on his face. "You won't be able to get rid of me, idiot."

Hinata smiles again, wider, warmer. "Good," he murmurs. "That's good."

Neither of them says anything more.

 

The hours slip by too quickly, and the days follow suit.

 

"Tobio?"

"What is it?"

"The stars are singing!"

 

Through it all, Hinata coughs and coughs. There's a pattern to his days: cough and rest, cough and rest, cough and -

 

It's almost cruelly reminiscent of the time they first met, except this time, Kageyama is waiting for him when Hinata's last breath truly leaves his body, as light as a rose petal. He watches, and can do nothing else, as his eyes dim and his mother begins to sob, soft and pained, as the bright line on the screen falls to the bottom, deadly straight. For a moment, there is an awful moment of near-silence as he watches Hinata's family, grieving and pained - because for them, this is what seems the end, at least for quite a long time. Kageyama doesn't weep, not yet, he still has a bit of time.

"Tobio!"

He whips around, and there stands Hinata, smiling and healthy, standing proudly. His skin is bare - there are no black feathers to be seen, but he looks robust and rosy, and the sight rejuvenates Kageyama just as it makes his heart sink.

Even though it's only been a few minutes since they last saw each other, he still can't help but wrap his arms around the other boy in what must be a crushingly-tight embrace, letting go after a moment. Hinata feels faded, airy, nothing but soul, and Kageyama knows that he doesn't have long before having to leave.

"Go," he tells him, nudging him towards the family sitting by the bed. Hinata's father is still holding his hand, and Natsu is silent, solemn, comforting her mother even as she begins to cry. "Say goodbye."

Hinata's eyes are unspeakably fond as he looks upon his family, and he goes to speak to each one of them in turn, pressing intangible kisses to their faces and trying to wipe away their tears.

"See you soon," are Hinata's last words to the three of them, and Natsu's eyes suddenly widen as she casts her gaze around the room, astounded. And then, for a mere second, she sees Hinata, who grins at her and waves, and she smiles back tearily, letting out a little laugh. Then she blinks, and Kageyama can tell she's lost sight of him, and Hinata reaches out for his hand. He takes it, weaving their fingers together.

"Let's go," the shorter boy says. He takes a deep breath.

For the second time in Hinata's short little life, Kageyama leads him out of the hospital and out under the open sky.

"Hold onto me," he tells Hinata, and feels the boy's arms around him, warm and familiar. Hinata smiles up at him, with so much trust in his eyes it's almost overwhelming.

"It's just like before," he says, "Just like before."

Kageyama can't help but smile back at him before his feathers begin to ripple out over his skin, and he takes off into the sky.

_Just like before._

 

"Wait, Tobio," he hears Hinata say, mid-flight. "Let's stop here for a bit."

Kageyama lights down onto the roof of a rustic little building. They're in a town of some sort, small but bright in the oncoming sunset. There's music playing in the near distance, a piano and a few string instruments of some sort. He hops down onto the ground and shakes off his feathers, standing beside Hinata, who looks more faded than ever.

"You know this place?" Kageyama asks, surprised. They're quite far away from his home.

Hinata shakes his head. "I just heard the music," he says, "And I wanted to stay a bit. Just a bit."

"Okay," Kageyama says. Who is he to refuse?

They wander through the little town, following the sound of an old, cheerful melody. The journey is strangely silent, almost subdued, but he's content with that right now - they both are.

The sounds of people talking and laughing begin to reach their ears, and Hinata's eyes begin to sparkle as they find the source of the music, a lively little restaurant near the heart of the town.

"It's lovely, isn't it?" Hinata exclaims, feet beginning to tap nimbly to the rhythm.

Kageyama laughs. "Yeah," he says, grinning, when suddenly, he's struck by an idea. "Hey, Shouyou!"

Hinata stops his tapping for a second. "Yeah?"

"Wanna dance?" Kageyama's blushing, he's sure of it, but it almost doesn't matter for the way Hinata's eyes light up.

"Like - _dance_ dance?" Hinata asks.

"Yeah," Kageyama says, scratching the back of his head. "Unless you don't want to -"

"Oh, but I do!" Hinata says, grinning, and grabs both of his hands. "How do we do this?"

Kageyama pulls away one of his hands gently, to place it on his own shoulder. "Like this," he says, and puts a hand gingerly on Hinata's waist. "I'll lead, and you follow."

Hinata pouts up at him. "Why can't I lead?"

"Do you know how to dance?" Kageyama demands.

The shorter boy's gaze slides off to the side. "…No."

"Stupid," Kageyama says fondly, then kisses the top of his head. _Maybe another day_ , he almost says, but manages to clamp his mouth shut.

Hinata laughs. "Shut up and teach me already."

"Okay," Kageyama says, and listens for the beat of a new song. "Here - I step forward, you go back, then you go to the right, then forward -"

"Your steps are too big, idiot!" Hinata says, giggling.

"Sor _ry_ ," Kageyama says, in mock annoyance. "Here, you step back now - ow!"

"Sorry," Hinata says, and he laughs.

They get the hang of it eventually, even though they're downright terrible at first, but their steps become smoother and more fluid with time, and it's fun, it really is, enough so that Kageyama almost forgets why he's here in the first place. There's only them, the music, the ground beneath their feet, and the cool late summer air in their lungs. There's a lot of laughing too, the sweet sound of Hinata's merriment if they trip over each other's feet. Kageyama's laughing too, for no particular reason except Hinata is, and they keep dancing even as the song quickens, never looking away from each other. Suddenly, the other boy stops laughing and grins exuberantly instead, about to say something.

"I love you, Kageyama Tobio!" Hinata shouts, loud and sure, and Kageyama trips over his own feet and tumbles to the ground, and the shorter boy falls down on top of him in a tangle of wiry limbs. Hinata laughs again, head resting on Kageyama's chest.

"Idiot!" Kageyama hisses, blushing. "What are you doing?"

"No one can hear us," Hinata says, "And even if they could, I wouldn't care." He climbs off of Kageyama and offers him a hand. "Come on. Let's go on a roof. I wanna watch the sunset with you."

 

They end up on the roof of what seems to be an abandoned building, lying on their stomachs, the two of them pressing close against each other, and the only reason why Kageyama's heart is beating a bit too fast is because of the dancing, just the dancing. There's a wash of gold and orange over the town as the sun descends towards the horizon. Kageyama shivers a bit as Hinata traces his shoulder blades with a soft touch.

"When I first saw you, I thought you were an angel," he murmurs.

Kageyama laughs a bit. "Were you disappointed?"

"No," Hinata answers, "You were much better."

Kageyama can't help but blush at the candour in his voice. The clouds are orange-pink-purple now, and he wants to seal away this moment forever and ever. He turns to kiss Hinata's neck, breathing him in, remembering. "Why," and his voice cracks, "Why can't this last forever?"

Hinata doesn't say anything for a moment, but Kageyama can feel him shifting away, sitting up.

"Tobio."

 He opens his eyes and does the same - Hinata is solemn and serious across from him.

"What is it?" Kageyama asks.

"Tobio, I-" Hinata tries again. "I know what you said about the city in the sky is true, about you not being able to leave this world. But I can't believe that. I can't."

Kageyama's heart drops. "Shouyou -"

"So I don't _care_ ," Hinata continues, eyes flashing defiantly. "I'll remember you, I'll wait for you, until the world ends, if I have to. And I'll look for you, wherever I am, wherever you end up." He takes a breath. "And if I still can't find you, I'll wait until the stars burn out and the universe ends, because we'll have to be in the same place after that, won't we? This isn't the end, you hear me, Tobio? _This isn't the end_!"

Kageyama is speechless, his heart full, and he has to bite his lip to keep from crying. Without a word, he leans forwards and kisses Hinata, almost blindly. It's a bit wet and messy because neither of them are truly dry-eyed, but Kageyama moves his hands to bury them in Hinata's hair, feeling the other boy's hands on the back of his neck pulling him closer, and everything within him is thrilling with the contact.

He's almost lightheaded when they break apart, but he embraces Hinata anyways, so that the other boy fairly leans on him. The sun is halfway below the skyline now, deep orange and muted, so that it isn't as radiantly bright. Kageyama looks at the beautiful boy lying in his arms, cast gold from the sun, and he thinks: _for you, I would give up my wings._

Hinata smiles up at him lazily, like he knows. "What's going through that head of yours, Tobio?"

Kageyama grins down at him, then turns his face to the sky. He takes a deep breath, and shouts.

"I LOVE YOU, HINATA SHOUYOU!"

 

The rolling green fields are the same as before - placid, quiet, immense. As always, the sky is clear, darkening into indigo. Kageyama flies as far as he can before he feels the wind begin to carry away his feathers, light as it is. Silently, he lands, watching the black plumes dance away on the breeze. The grass here isn't as green as it was behind them - it's shorter, has more of a bluish tint. This is where he'd usually leave the souls, and let them find their way for themselves. It's much farther than they'd come the first time, so many years ago.

Hinata looks at him, eyes luminous but faded. He looks eager, excited, almost. He's being affected by the pull that makes all dead souls yearn for the city in the sky. It really must be his time.

"I can't fly anymore here," Kageyama tells him. Hinata blinks at him, shocked. "But I'll walk with you."

The relief on Hinata's face makes him happier than he should be. They fall into rhythm, fingers laced together, going forward. Always forward. The grass gets shorter and shorter as they walk, and the wind picks up. Sometimes, if Kageyama listens hard enough, he can hear the merest hints of sound from another world.

"Remember when we first met?" Hinata says, a bit suddenly. There's a smile on his face as he walks. "And I dragged you through the hospital to watch volleyball?"

Kageyama grins. "Of course I do," he says. "And after that, when you didn't know who the flowers were coming from?"

Hinata scoffs. "I always knew they were you."

" _Really_ , now?" Kageyama says, swinging their arms absently. "I could've sworn you had no idea at first -"

"And Hitoka's drawings?" Hinata closes his eyes, as if remembering.

"Yeah," Kageyama says. _Yachi_. "Of course."

They fall into easy conversation then, bittersweet _remember when's_ , a lifetime of memories unearthed and reminisced. The two of them talk and talk, until the grass goes only up to their ankles and looks well-trodden, even though there are no people within sight. The ground goes on for ten more metres or so, then falls away into a steep cliff. Hinata curiously looks over the edge into what seems like endless blackness, and Kageyama closes a protective hand on his wrist.

"Be careful," he says urgently. "If you fall down there, you're never coming back up."

"What is it?" murmurs Hinata.

"Nothing," Kageyama answers. "Just darkness and space."

Hinata looks up and out over the seemingly endless sea of emptiness, shrouded by thick fog in the distance, and he narrows his eyes. "I think I see a bridge, there." He points to a spot to their right. Kageyama's gaze follows the line of his finger, and sure enough, there's something that seems like a wooden bridge that extends from the edge of the cliff into the fog.

"Come on, then," he says, voice tight, leading Hinata by the hand. It takes them a while to reach it, and the walk there is heavy with silence. It's dusk now, but strangely, it isn't hard to see.

The bridge looks sturdy and strong, to Kageyama's relief - he's seen souls who've had to tread on much more dangerous paths. It keeps going, as far as the eye can see, until it's swallowed up by the cloudy fog, which is heavier than usual today. Kageyama can't see the small, vague shapes of buildings that he remembers from before.

 Hinata steps onto the bridge, pulling ahead, footsteps loud and hollow. Kageyama stops walking just before his feet touch the wood, heart sinking. He can feel the slight tug of Hinata at his hand. All of it's been building up to this, despite how much they've tried to avoid talking about it, to put it off.

"Tobio?" Hinata turns to look at him. "What's wrong?"

Kageyama takes a shaky breath. He's not ready, not at all. "I can't -" he sighs. "This is as far as I can go." He reaches out with a tentative hand to touch the bridge, and beneath his fingers, the material begins to chip away and dissolve into the wind. Quickly, he pulls away, and the wood repairs itself, becomes untarnished once more.

Hinata is silent.

"There are many paths that go to the city," Kageyama says, and he's having trouble sounding normal. "You're lucky that you found a good one." He can't look Hinata in the eye - everything has just now begun to hurt, a dull eating away at his heart.

"A path to the city…" Hinata muses quietly. "So this is it, then?"

"Yeah," Kageyama almost chokes out, "This is it."

He hears the sound of Hinata walking back to him, coming off the bridge, then feels Hinata stroke his cheek with a gentle hand. Slowly, he lifts his gaze off of the ground to meet the other boy's, and he's shocked to see that his warm brown eyes are already wet. Without a word, they pull each other close, fighting away tears, to no avail.

"Kiss me," Hinata tells Kageyama, so he does, hard and desperate, hands holding the shorter boy so tightly that it must hurt. They kiss like lovers, like it's the last time.

"I'm going to miss you," Kageyama says brokenly, and he can't help it anymore, all the words flowing out like a river. "I love you, Shouyou. I love you so much that it should be impossible."

"Me too," Hinata sobs, and Kageyama can feel his breath heaving. "I just want to lie here, anywhere, and kiss you and love you and be with you, forever and ever and ever, oh, _why_?"

Kageyama kisses him again, deeply. He tries to wipe away the tears on Hinata's face even as his own trickle down his cheeks relentlessly. He takes a deep breath, tries to stay rational. "I'll never forget you, you know. I want you to know that. Because every time I look at the sunset, I'll think of your hair, and I'll think of us." Hinata is shaking, quivering in his arms. "Thank you, Shouyou."

"For what?" Hinata demands tearfully. "All I'm doing is hurting you -"

"For loving me," Kageyama says. "For being my friend. For the sunsets. Thank you, Shouyou, a hundred times over."

"Oh, Tobio," Hinata whispers, clutching at his shirt. "I think my heart is breaking."

"No, no," Kageyama says, "You're strong, it'll take more than this to break you." He grips Hinata's shoulders. "This isn't the end, remember? You said it yourself! We'll meet again, when everything is over. This is nothing. Just an interlude, then the music will start to play again. Just an interlude."

"Just an interlude," Hinata repeats, closing his eyes. When he opens them, they're clearer than before. "You're right. I love you, Tobio." His breathing has begun to even out. "You'll watch over my family, won't you?"

"I will," Kageyama says, voice cracking. "And if you find Yachi, give her my love."

"Of course," Hinata breathes.

They stay like that for a few more moments, but then a breeze ruffles their hair, and Hinata pulls away from the embrace. Kageyama doesn't resist - he knows the time has come.

One last kiss, chaste and sweet, then Hinata speaks.

"It's time, then," he says.

"Alright," Kageyama murmurs.

Hinata manages a watery smile. "See you around, Kageyama Tobio."

"Yeah," he responds, grins tearily. "Until we meet again." _Because we will. We have to._

Hinata laughs, high and bright, then turns around to face the fog, his back to the land. His steps on the bridge are hesitant at first, few and far between, but then he begins to walk faster, shrinking into the distance until he's swallowed up by the cloudy grey.

Kageyama doesn't make a sound through it all - he knows that if he calls out, Hinata'll end up doing something stupid like run back to him. It's agonizing to stay silent - he wants to scream, to shout, to chase after him, to do anything to fill the gaping hole that's been left in his chest.

This farewell isn't like the one three years ago - it aches terribly, of course, but in an exquisite way. Kageyama stands before the bridge for what seems like an eternity, feeling that strange, painful love course through his veins, stealing his breath.

Hinata is gone, finally gone, and he finds it hard to breathe. It hurts - it really does, but for all the unbidden tears that come trickling from Kageyama's eyes, he can't find it in himself to regret a thing. Even as his vision blurs and his chest begins to heave, he remembers the way Hinata would press flowers immaculately, the radiance of his joy, how he stood in the middle of the yard, eyes closed, face tipped up towards the sky as he smiled. He remembers the way Hinata kissed, warm and soft and playful, the way his eyes sparkled when he watched volleyball, and he can't help but laugh a bit through the tears.

 _Thank you_ , Kageyama thinks, _thank you_ , because Hinata has given him so much, splashing a multitude of vibrant colours on his monochrome existence. He would have very much liked to die with Hinata, but to live with him has been, in itself, a wonderful privilege, an adventure.

 _This isn't the end_ , he reminds himself, and believes it.

With that thought, Kageyama turns around and begins to head back, walking slowly on the lush grass. The night wind is gentle and cool on his face, soft like a lover's kiss.

When he gets home, his flock will be waiting for him, and somewhere in the world, the sun will be setting.


	10. perihelion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spent like ten minutes deciding the chapter title LOL
> 
> Honestly, i think i came up with the idea of bird soul reapers from this really messed up dream I had and I was like omg fic time. Well, that was six months ago, and here we are, at the last chapter!

A day after Hinata's funeral, Oikawa pays Kageyama a visit.

"For you," he says, holding out a clean white envelope. His eyes are swollen, but there's a sad little smile playing around his lips.

Kageyama takes it from him gingerly, eyes tracing over the kanji of his name on the pristine paper. For some reason, he doesn't want to read another letter ever again, but at the same time, there's a powerful urge to tear open the envelope. Swallowing, Kageyama clutches it tightly.

"Thank you," he tells Oikawa.

The other boy shrugs, still smiling that melancholy smile. His eyes, Kageyama notices, are almost a bit like Hinata's.

"He -" Oikawa clears his throat, tries again. "He really loved you the most, you know."

Kageyama nods, swallows again, feeling something prickle in the back of his eyes.

The brown-haired boy keeps talking. "Honestly though, Tobio-chan, you're definitely not as great of a catch as I am, so I never really understood why. I still don't, sometimes." He shakes his head, the corners of his lips curved upwards slightly. "But that doesn't mean I should've treated you the way I did back then." He swallows. "So I just want to say that - well, I'm sorry."

"Oh," Kageyama says eloquently. He blinks. "Thank you."

They stand there for a moment. It's a bit awkward, but not uncomfortable.

"Well, that's it," Oikawa says, already turning around. "Later, Tobio-chan."

"Goodbye," Kageyama says, almost stunned, after his retreating back.

The envelope feels crisp under his fingers.

 

The world feels lovely around him as Kageyama makes his way to a park bench alone. It's gotten cooler, and the leaves are just beginning to become gold-tinted. With surprisingly steady fingers, he opens the envelope carefully, trying not to tear the paper. The letter itself is folded neatly, and he takes it out gently, smoothes it flat. Even now, there's a sharp twinge of loss when he sees Hinata's familiar handwriting, bold in deep blue ink.

Taking a breath, he begins to read.

 

_Dear Kageyama Tobio,_

_It's strange, you know, to find the world so wonderfully beautiful just as it's pushing me away from it. The past few days have been so sweet, and I don't think I've ever seen everything so prettily, even in this little hospital room of mine. Everything looks so radiant, even as I write - the sky outside, the softness of the sheets, the black feathers strewn across the floor, like a part of the happy ending of a movie. Because it is; it's the end now. My story finishes soon. And it's weird, you know. I'm not actually that sad about it - even though I want to stay with all of you, forever and ever. But it's sort of like I'm getting ready to go to sleep after a long, long day._

_So really, I'm not scared, or angry, or any of that. But what I am is worried. Because I don't want anyone who I loved, anyone who loved me, to get hurt. I want everyone to live, to stay in this beautiful, cruel, wonderful, kind world for as long as they can. That's what Yachi told me to promise her, when she passed away - to live as fully as I could, to live for her, and not follow behind her too quickly. I hope I kept my promise. I think I did._

_And now I'm going to ask you to make the same promise, Tobio. There's always more to see than anyone can ever see, because this planet changes oh-so-quickly; it's more like a thousand worlds than one. So please, see it all. See everything ugly, everything beautiful, everything in between. If not for yourself, then for me._

_The ending of my story is close now, so close. I can feel it; I can see it when I close my eyes. So it's time to tell you everything that I might forget to say when I finally have to leave, because I'm sure neither of us will be extremely coherent._

_Thank you, Kageyama Tobio. Thank you for listening to me the first time we met, for the flowers, for the lovely evenings in the yard. Because even though you're stupid and stubborn at times, you were the most wonderful friend I have ever had, and the memories we made were bright and beautiful._

_Remember when we met for the first time? I remember thinking that you looked so beautiful, and just a little bit lonely. Are you lonely now, while you read this? I hope you aren't. After all, your smile is so lovely. I'm so glad it was you, that day._

_Maybe, in another world, where you didn't have feathers and I wasn't sick, things would've been very different. I would want to play volleyball with you, and go to school with you and see you every day, to live and die with you. That sounds like a wonderfully happy story, doesn't it? But you know what? This world, this life of ours isn't that bad either. We got to meet each other, didn't we? And I loved you, and you loved me, and really, that's no tragedy. So please, if you can, try not to be so sad. You have so many people who care for you, who adore you - you won't have to be alone._

_Remember, I'll be waiting for you, Tobio. And when we find each other again, nothing in the world will be able to tear us apart._

_I love you._

_Your best friend,_

_Hinata Shouyou_

 

There are warm tears that trickle softly down Kageyama's face, but he's smiling, heart full.

"Idiot," he says out loud, and he can almost hear Hinata's squawk of indignation. "You're an idiot, Hinata Shouyou."

It's a bit strange, to weep while laughing.

 

Nothing is easy.

Time passes surely, but even with all his friends around him, everything feels slow to Kageyama, hindered and strangely sticky. Some days, Suga needs to drag him out to work so he doesn't roost for hours at a time. And he misses Hinata, _yearns_ for him with a strange kind of yearning that feels a bit like hunger, though no food or drink can chase it away. Sometimes it's like he's bogged down in mud, cloying and difficult, and sometimes there's a sudden, distinct crash of emotion, like a tidal wave engulfing him, pulling him under. There's not much of a real, sharp pain, but more of a muffled despair, because Hinata is gone, gone for the foreseeable future, promises and letters notwithstanding. 

He feels bad for his friends too, everyone who does their best to deal with him, and he wishes he could _stop_ , but he can't. But Kageyama knows this is what he'd signed up for the day he'd kissed Hinata on that mountaintop, so he just grits his teeth and bears it.

 _This will pass_ , he tells himself. He's not sure if he believes it, not quite yet.

 

Fall blends into winter, with its crisp white snows and lovely, tumultuous winds. Kageyama feels like he's half-awake.

 

The first day of spring is a warm, soft breath of wind across the land, the vibrant calls of returning birds, and the slender green shoots that push out bravely from the still-cold ground. And for what seems like the first time in forever, Kageyama wakes up thinking that the world is beautiful.

There's the call of a soul tugging at his heart, and he nudges Suga awake. The silver-haired boy stretches and yawns, drowsily shaking off a few loose feathers.

"Let's go flying," he says, when Suga's eyes open, and the boy grins, wide and bright.

This - it's not perfect, but it's alright. It's good. Kageyama'll take it. 

The first day of spring is a good day.

 

There are quite a few good days that follow after. There are bad days too, but there aren't as many bad weeks now, no bad months. Kageyama's grateful, and when spring melts slowly into summer, he builds up the courage to visit Hinata's house again.

It looks the same, but there's an empty sort of feeling without Hinata's constant presence in the yard. It's quieter, to be sure, even though Kageyama can hear Natsu's voice, high and clear.

He perches on one of the trees, watching from under the cover of the foliage. The back door swings open, and Natsu skips out, red-orange hair glowing in the sunlight. She's singing, a playful little melody that sounds like a children's song, and she has to go around the whole garden twice before she can settle down. But when she does, she begins to study the ground with an ardent focus - _looking for pebbles_ , Kageyama realizes after a few minutes of observing. Natsu picks out round little rocks, dainty and precise, placing them in a pocket on her dress.

There's something about the weather, the serenity of the scene before him, so that Kageyama can almost see Hinata sitting on the grass, smiling, and suddenly, the yard doesn't feel as empty as before. It feels like he's finally opened his eyes, and he can remember the exact shade of Hinata's gold-orange hair, his warm, soft eyes, can hear the sound of his bright laughter, and it's almost like Hinata's _there_ , for all intents and purposes.

Kageyama's not sure what he's feeling, a strange mixture of deep melancholy and joy, spreading out from his chest. It's not particularly painful, just… strong, and he can't say that he dislikes it.

He stays for a while, but when he flies away, it's with strong wings and a light heart.

 

A few days later, Kageyama comes up with a conclusion.

Hinata Shouyou has left, that's for sure. But that doesn't mean he's gone, out of existence. He's everywhere Kageyama goes, running full-tilt while laughing on country roads, sitting fidgety on a train, picking flowers with that almost-serious expression of his. Because a letter isn't the only thing he left behind - there are memories, little drops of soul clinging to everyone whom he's ever met. Kageyama can remember his smile, his freckles, his scent, his voice. People like Hinata never truly die. There will always be a voice, somewhere, speaking of a boy with sunset hair and a personality to match; there will always be a person who has him kept inside their heart.

Maybe it's foolish, an act of madness, to adore someone truly and deeply, to be attached at the soul. But more than that, it's beautiful and thrilling and wonderful, and Kageyama doesn't regret it for the world.

 

He does what Hinata asks him to, flies until his wings are sore, sees and learns as much as he can, and when the souls he carries are heavy with grief or anger, he brings them somewhere beautiful to calm them. Sometimes, if he listens very hard at night, he can hear Hinata's laughter, blending in with a the soft, crystalline music of the stars.

 

One day, as the sun sets, Kageyama finds himself in the almost-endless green fields again, sitting close to the edge of the cliff, but not too close. There's less fog than usual today, and he can see the immensity of the city in the sky, shrouded in translucent gray. Most crowchildren don't give it much thought - they know it's something unattainable, far away, that it's not for them. But Kageyama can't help but be a bit more curious about it now. The city, or world, or whatever it is, intrigues him with its air of obscurity, and he wonders if Hinata likes it there.

He barely recognizes the sound of footsteps behind him before someone grips his arm and he's yanked roughly to his feet, getting dragged backwards until his attacker lets him fall unceremoniously on the ground a distance away.

" _Ow_! What the _hell_?" Kageyama hisses, whipping around the glare at the assaulter. His eyes widen. "Tsukishi-"

" _What_ were you _thinking_?" the blond snarls back at him, and he looks furious, face contorted from a strange outburst of emotion that Kageyama's never seen on him.

"What do you mean?" he asks, rubbing his arm.

"What do I _mean_?" Tsukishima scoffs incredulously. "You can't just throw yourself into the gulf when you feel like it, Kageyama! Do you know how _important_ you are to everyone in the flock? God knows why, but you are, and I thought you were feeling better about Hinata by now!" His voice is rising steadily, the loudest Kageyama ever remembers Tsukishima being. " _Talk_ to us, goddammit! Tell us what you need!"

Kageyama realizes his mouth is hanging slightly open. He catches himself, gears whirring in his head, taking in Tsukishima's panicked, angry demeanour, the things he said, and suddenly everything clicks.

"No," he says.

"What?" Tsukishima snarls, looking ready to fight.

"I mean no, I wasn't going to jump off the cliff, if that's what you were thinking," Kageyama tells him. The boy still looks sceptical. " _Really_. I was just looking. I'm better now, I really am."

"You better not be lying, _king_ ," Tsukishima warns.

"I swear," Kageyama says. "I swear on my wings."

"Oh, thank god," Tsukishima finally says, relief washing over his features, before they're taken over by mortification. And then, "Oh, God. I can't believe I just said something like that."

"Me neither," Kageyama says.

"Shut the hell up," Tsukishima mutters. He's shaking, Kageyama realizes.

"So you do care about me?" Kageyama asks.

"And this is why we never talk," the blond says, throwing up his hands. "Because you're a cocky asshole."

Kageyama blinks at the fervent display of emotion. "I didn't mean it that way." He tilts his head. "It was an honest question. I thought you hated me."

Tsukishima rolls his eyes. "Well, if you say so." He sighs, tension easing out of his body. "And no, I don't hate you. Your nowhere on my list of favourite people, but I don't _hate_ you."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Kageyama scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. "Uh, I'm sorry?"

Tsukishima scoffs. "You should be," he says, but there isn't much heat behind it. With a sigh, he sinks to the grassy ground. Kageyama doesn't know why he does the same, but he sits beside the blond, both of them looking out towards the faint outline of another world.

"How'd you see me, anyways?" Kageyama asks.

Tsukishima shrugs. "I was walking someone to their bridge."

"Oh," says Kageyama, a bit taken aback. "That's nice of you."

"You don't have to sound so surprised," Tsukishima mutters. He takes another deep breath and leans back on his hands.

They're silent for a few minutes, a moment of rare amicability between them, until Kageyama feels a question bubbling up from inside, curiosity lit by the other boy's presence, which, for once, is almost friendly.

"Tsukishima?"

"What?"

"Is it true that you used to talk to living people?"

A beat, then an exhale of breath. "So you're cocky _and_  gossipy."

Kageyama bristles. "Sor _ry_ -"

"Yeah, yeah," Tsukishima mutters. "It's true."

Kageyama keeps his eyes fixed on the sky. "Oh."

He expects the bespectacled boy to stop talking then, but Tsukishima continues.

"I used to talk to someone, a long time ago. We were friends, I think." His voice is quiet, musing. "He had good vision, like that Oikawa, so he could see souls. I met him a bit after I died."

"What was his name?" Kageyama asks.

"Kenma," Tsukishima says. "Kozume Kenma. He was small, quiet. Smart, like one of those alley cats. And he had beautiful eyes."

Kageyama nods, drinking in the story.

"We were close. Really close. So when some other kid started hanging around him all the time, I didn't like it at first. He was too close, and he took up too much space. His name was Kuroo Tetsurou, and I hated him until he almost died of pneumonia when he was sixteen. That's when we first met."

"What happened?" Kageyama asks.

"Well, we talked," Tsukishima says, "About ourselves, about Kenma. And he was still an asshole, don't get me wrong, but I found that I didn't hate him, not particularly." He sounds different, a bit nostalgic. "From then on, it was just the three of us, for years. They grew up, moved out. I followed. And I kept on following. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't catch up to them, because I'm a kid. And I'll always be a kid."

There's a small crack in his voice, but he keeps going. "So I left them, because I didn't think there was any space for me there. It hurt. It hurt like a bitch, but I got over it eventually. And when they died, I carried them here, and I watched them go. That was the worst. They both said the same thing to me, that they wished that I'd stayed, and that they were sorry." He sounds choked, close to tears. "And I loved them both, dammit, maybe not the way you love Hinata, but I loved them."

"I'm sorry," Kageyama murmurs after a moment. Tsukishima's memories feel heavy in his chest, and he understands. They're a bit alike, the two of them.

The blond swallows. "At one point, it was so bad, I just wanted to disappear. So I came here, and I sat on the edge, just looking down." He smiles sadly. "I would've done it, but then someone tapped me on the shoulder and asked me where the nearest bridge was, because they were new at the job."

"Yamaguchi," Kageyama realizes.

Tsukishima laughs, and it sounds genuine. "Yeah."

They lapse into another silence, and Kageyama doesn't know what to say. He feels like he should be thanking Tsukishima for the story that he's obviously kept dear to his heart. When he turns to look at the other boy, he sees that the blond is already standing up, dusting off some grass. Wordlessly, Tsukishima offers an outreached hand, and Kageyama takes it, getting to his feet beside him. The sky's tinged pink now, and the grasses rustle soothingly with a gust of evening wind.

"We should be heading back now," Tsukishima says, pushing up the bridge of his glasses.

Kageyama nods, and the two of them make their way back, shifting into their feathered bodies when they're far away enough from the city in the sky.

 

Like always, things change, and Kageyama watches.

During the next two years, Natsu grows out her hair in middle school, so that it flows behind her when she dashes, late to class, or when she dives to the ground smoothly to save a ball, an ever-vigilant libero. Hinata's father tries growing a beard for a month. Oikawa goes to Tokyo to study astrophysics, and comes back half a degree later as an esteemed writer known for his prose and beauty, as well as the raven that's always on his shoulder (an unfazed Iwaizumi, who makes sure that the brown-haired boy stays grounded with constant pecks and wings to the face). Shimizu takes up singing, which is a godsend, because with Iwaizumi gone, Kageyama needs someone to sing him to sleep.

Time keeps passing, and it seems so _quick_ , like a breeze blowing past him. But the days are mostly peaceful, soft and long and lazy, full of quiet laughter and the faint ruffling of feathers, so Kageyama is grateful.

The only constant in the entire world is the sky, vast and beautiful and unchanging, and Kageyama makes it a point to watch a sunset every day. Sometimes, Tsukishima settles down silently with him, and it's an unspoken rule that they don't argue at times like those.

Kageyama sits there, he thinks of Hinata, and he misses him.

 

Natsu graduates high school, and the world keeps growing. Their town is expanding, urbanizing, and the flock's future workload grows with the sudden increase of lives. Kageyama watches, as Oikawa moves into his new apartment, as Souji takes over his father's farm, as Hinata's parents learn to dance, as Natsu juggles varsity volleyball and studying and a boy, all at the same time.

 _I hope you can see this_ , he thinks, as he sits before another sunset. _Wherever you are._

The end of the world seems far, far away.

 

A year passes, then five, then ten. Kageyama finds an unlikely friend in Ennoshita, whose apparent indifference and drowsiness hide an unrivalled wit and sharp tongue reserved for troublemakers. Kageyama could laugh forever at the arguments between him and his friend from another flock, a strangely brown-feathered magpie boy called Futakuchi who looks at Ennoshita like he's hung the moon, even when the two are cussing each other out passive-aggressively. It's fun, it really is.

Natsu and her boyfriend argue quite a bit ( _"Peanut butter does not go well with tempura, put that shit back in the fridge right_ now _!"_ ), both being strong-minded and fiery, so they end up married to do it more conveniently. Eventually Natsu gives birth to a lovely daughter, to help settle petty quarrels. They remind Kageyama a bit of Oikawa and Iwaizumi - sometimes, he sees Iwaizumi taking a walk, breathing deeply and muttering under his breath about various ways to prevent Oikawa from buying monogrammed pyjamas ever again. He likes to rant to Kageyama, and by association, Ennoshita, about the expansive list of stupid things that Oikawa's ever done.

"I swear," Ennoshita says one day, after Iwaizumi bids them goodbye, "If he wasn't a crowkid, he would've died of stress at a very young age."

"I almost feel bad for him," Kageyama says, with a little laugh.

Ennoshita raises an eyebrow. "Almost?"

Kageyama shrugs. "He wouldn't be happy if he weren't with Oikawa, so it's better than the alternative, isn't it?"

"Ah, love," Ennoshita says, then nods wisely. "The greatest enemy of common sense."

"Speaking of love," Kageyama says, "How's Futakuchi?"

Ennoshita turns away from him, but Kageyama can see the faintest blush colouring his cheeks. "I don't see what the two topics have to do with each other."

"Really?" Kageyama says, and he can't help but grin a bit. "Because I swear, last week, I heard you say to him that you -"

"It's getting late," Ennoshita says smoothly, black feathers beginning to ripple down his skin. "We should go home."

Kageyama laughs, before feeling the familiar sensation of feathers pushing through his skin, and the two of them swoop into the evening sky.

 

Hinata's father passes away on a spring day, and Kageyama swoops in to the familiar old house to meet him. Natsu and her family are by his bedside, as well as Hinata's mother, all weeping softly. The soul himself is comforting them, touching them with feather-light hands, and he turns when Kageyama walks in.

"Hello, young man," he says politely, "Is it time?"

Kageyama nods, a bit stiffly. He's still working on what he's going to say. "I'm sorry."

The old man shrugs. "Everything ends, at one point. I just didn't expect it to be so painful." With a sigh, he turns and bids his family farewell one last time, then walks up to Kageyama. "I'm ready."

The two of them leave the house, and Kageyama carries him gently into the sky.

 

The old man is humble in his requests - he asks to see the ocean, so Kageyama flies them over the clear blue of a beautiful beach, and then they're off, heading to the endless green fields. The man likes to talk - he speaks of work and friends and gardening, of his family, of Hinata, until Kageyama _has_ to tell him, can't keep the truth hidden away any longer, not from Hinata's father, of all people.

"Sir," he begins carefully, "I'd like to tell you something, if I may. You might not believe me, and you may not like it, but I think you should know."

The old man smiles up at him. "Go ahead."

"Your son was my best friend," Kageyama says. He pauses before adding shakily, "And I loved him."

There's a moment of silence, and he sneaks a look at the old man's face. Relief washes over him when he sees that Hinata's father is still smiling, but it's a soft, sad smile.

"I thought your name sounded familiar," he says. "Kageyama Tobio, was it?"

Kageyama nods, waiting. He doesn't expect the reassuring hand on his shoulder, or the small chuckle.

"I thought you were an imaginary friend," the old man says. "He always sounded so happy when he mentioned your name." He sighs. "I guess it's logical, for someone who was so close to death, to have a god of death as their friend."

"I'm not a god of death," Kageyama blurts out, then flushes in embarrassment. He sounds like a petulant child. "I'm just… Kageyama."

Hinata's father laughs. "My apologies, Kageyama." His voice turns serious. "Don't look so tense, son. Did you think I'd be angry?"

"I - I don't know," Kageyama admits.

"You made him happy, didn't you?" the old man asks.

"I like to think so."

"Then that's all there is to say about it." They're nearing a bridge now, a steel one, with strong-looking cables. "I'll be seeing him soon, won't I? Him and that sweet little girl, Hitoka." His voice sounds hopeful and joyous, so that Kageyama can’t help but nod.

The sound of the old man's first footstep on the bridge echoes through the air, and he turns to look at Kageyama with wise, brown eyes.

"Goodbye, Kageyama," he says. "I'm very grateful to you."

"Thank you," Kageyama says, "For your son."

The old man smiles at him, sad and joyful all at once, then turns towards the city in the sky. His strides are long, quick, so different from the arthritis-caused hobble from before.

Kageyama watches him until he fades into the fog, and he hopes that Hinata will be less lonely than before.

 

"Tobio-chan!"

Kageyama turns around. It's Oikawa, of course.

"Hey," he says. Oikawa opted to stay in the area, so seeing him and Iwaizumi isn't a rare occurrence. However, Oikawa himself doesn't often seek out Kageyama for conversation.

The brown-haired man reaches out and grabs his wrist. He must be in his thirties now, but there's still an air of childishness about him, a frivolity in his smile and the flip of his hair. "Come do me a favour, Tobio."

"What the hell?" Kageyama demands, but he doesn't resist the pull, feet stumbling reluctantly after Oikawa. He's not wary, just a bit annoyed. "What do you want?"

"I'm writing a book!" Oikawa says, like that should explain everything.

"So?" Kageyama says. "Where's Hajime?" He feels more comfortable around Oikawa with Iwaizumi to keep him in check.

Oikawa pouts. "Am I not good enough for you?"

"Hajime's better," Kageyama says.

"Still rude as ever, I see," the brown-haired man says. "But it's okay, I know you're secretly glad to see me!"

"I'm just being honest," says Kageyama. "And no, not really."

"Come _on_ ," Oikawa says, and drags him up the steps, kicking open the unlocked door. "I'm home!"

"So am I," Kageyama hears Iwaizumi say from somewhere inside the house.

"Rude," says Oikawa. "Both of you are rude."

"Hi, Kageyama," Iwaizumi says, coming out of what's presumably the kitchen. He leaves a trail of black feathers on the floor, probably having just moulted them off, and with a sigh, he grabs a nearby broom and begins to sweep it into a pile.

"Hey," Kageyama says.

"Oikawa kidnapped you, didn't he?"

"I'm not really sure."

"It's okay, it's not going to be anything bad," Iwaizumi reassures him.

"Of course it isn't!" Oikawa says indignantly. "Come on, Tobio!"

Kageyama is dragged away once again, into a large, sunny room full of books and paper and pens, and is forced to sit down by Oikawa. There's a broom in the corner of this room, as well.

"I'm writing a book with Shou-chan as the protagonist," Oikawa says, straight to the point. "I asked his family, and they gave their consent, but now I need your help, because I need to make sure that this does him justice."

Kageyama stills. "What do you want me to do?"

"Talk," Oikawa says. "Write. Tell me every single thing you remember about him. Even the smallest details."

And then Kageyama understands. Oikawa wants to bring Hinata back to life with his words.

"Okay," he says, and begins to speak.

 

The way he smiled with his eyes. The sunset of his hair, the snowy paleness of his skin. His books of pressed flowers, the sound of his voice. His handwriting, surprisingly neat, always in blue pen. The starry freckles on his skin, the brightness of his eyes. His slender fingers, soft nimble hands. And the way he loved, honest and unbridled and beautiful.

Kageyama feels like he is made of memories.

 

When they finish, he feels exhausted, and his mouth is dry. Oikawa begins to write, pen gliding smoothly over the blank page, and there is a quiet intensity in his every action - he is somewhere else now, perhaps with Hinata when they were together. Kageyama excuses himself, not sure if Oikawa hears him or not.

He meets Iwaizumi on his way out.

"Is he writing?" the spiky-haired boy asks.

Kageyama nods.

With a sigh, Iwaizumi heads towards Oikawa's study. "I better make sure he doesn't overwork himself, then." He tilts his head. "Are you alright? You look a little strange."

Kageyama smiles at him. "Yeah," he says. "Yeah, I am."

"See you around, then," Iwaizumi says.

"Bye," Kageyama calls over his shoulder, and heads outside. The weather is lovely, a perfect day on the brink of summer and spring. He thinks about the words flowing out of the tip of Oikawa's pen, the sentences he's stringing together. He thinks of Hinata.

_Now you'll live forever._

 

There is a wonderful sun shower on the first day of summer, drops of falling water sparkling with radiant sunlight, and it's almost like the stars are flying down, kissing Kageyama's wings. It ends quickly, but there's something about it that makes him want to remember that it happened.

The shower leaves behind a wonderful petrichor and little puddles filling up the dips in the ground. Kageyama can see his reflection in the still pools of water.

He hasn't aged a day since Hinata stepped onto the bridge.

 

Oikawa publishes his book the next year, and it's quite a hit. It's praised for its plot and prose, but mostly for the characterization of the protagonist. It's not a long book, but Kageyama can grudgingly admit that it's wonderfully written. It’s a good thing, a happy thing. He can imagine Hinata's ecstasy at being in a story, and it brings a slight smile to his face.

_I hope you can see this._

 

There are so _many_ souls to carry now - Futakuchi's flock actually gets new members. Kageyama flies and flies, and he looks at the night sky, the shining stars, and wonders when they will burn out.

 

The years go by, unrelenting. Hinata's mother passes, and Kageyama guides her too, tells her the truth. She's kind, amazingly so, and when they part, she kisses Kageyama lightly on the cheek. Work gets harder - there are just so many people - and Kageyama feels like he flies thousands of miles a day. Ennoshita is a bit grumpy about that, because more work means less breaks, and less breaks means less time for him to see Futakuchi. But he's still a nice person to fly with; knows when to be quiet and when to be loud.

Like that, the days pass, the sun setting and rising, again and again and again, and it almost seems like everything is the same, that barely anything is changing anymore, until -

 

Oikawa dies young.

He's in the middle of writing his third book when it happens, a car accident that snatches away his life as quickly as it had come. Kageyama feels the tug at his heart, feels an eerie sensation of foreboding, and he flies as fast as he can to the scene, but Iwaizumi is already there, back to Kageyama and holding Oikawa's vibrant soul in his arms, weeping softly.

Oikawa meets Kageyama's eyes, and he gives a slight nod of acknowledgement. Kageyama nods back, a silent farewell. Just like the kiss from so many years ago, this scene isn't for him to see, so he leaves. There's a familiar emptiness in his chest, and he hopes Iwaizumi is alright.

 

Iwaizumi isn't alright, not for a long time.

Kageyama does his best, but it's hard. It's harder for Iwaizumi, he knows, so he doesn't give up. And eventually, it gets better. It takes a while, but it does, and soon the spiky-haired boy is flying again, chasing the stormy winds at Kageyama's side.

 

Kageyama doesn't remember the years anymore. The passing of time is marked by deaths and births - the birth of Natsu's grandchildren, the death of Souji. Even Natsu herself passes, but at the impressive age of ninety, surrounded by the family she loved so much. Kageyama makes sure to guide her too, and he gets to see her fortitude and fiery strength in person. It makes him proud, and he watches her walk away on the bridge with a feeling of peace.

Her flame-haired descendants aren't many, but they're there, and Kageyama makes sure to keep an eye on them every so often, wherever they end up in the world, helping out at times of need, but staying hidden behind the scenes.

"You aren't their father, you know," Ennoshita says one day, after Kageyama picks up the dropped house key of a red-haired girl and places it in her bag when she's walking home ("You have a _bird_ on your backpack, Misaki!"). He sounds amused. "You don't have to do all of that. Isn't it enough to just watch?"

Kageyama shrugs. Ennoshita's a good friend, but the person he's in love with is a crowchild, and there are just some things that he doesn't quite understand.

 

Before Kageyama knows it, Natsu's descendants have their own descendants, and then their descendants have _their_ descendants, and it keeps going, time passing by in a flash, until the last sun-haired boy with Natsu's blood in his veins finally passes away. He recognizes Kageyama immediately, as "that big, black bird" who left him a bouquet of flowers to give his first date, and thus helped him "get laid."

When he steps onto the bridge, Kageyama feels like a huge weight has been lifted off his shoulders - it's like he's finished a very important job.

Suga and Daichi aren’t the only reliable parents in the flock.

 

Almost as quickly as the population grew, it drops, the number of souls plummeting. Whole cities begin to dwindle to nothing, because of strife and plagues and other things that Kageyama does not want to hear about. He's glad, for once, that Hinata is not in this world to see this. Death comes as a release to most, now, and souls are happy to see him.

 

It's Ennoshita who notices it first.

"Your feathers are falling out, Kageyama," he says, and he reaches out to touch Kageyama's arm, drawing away with feathers in his hand. Kageyama's skin feels cold where it's suddenly bare, and a patch of loose black plumes on Ennoshita's neck catch his eye.

"Yours too," he tells the other boy, and shows him.

Neither of them knows what this really means, but there's an apprehensive feeling in Kageyama's gut that tells him everything is going to change.

 

It's not just them, it's the other crowchildren too - Tsukishima's white feathers mingling with Yamaguchi's brown-black ones in the wind, Shimizu's blue-black plumes on the ground. Everyone with feathers is losing them, and nobody knows why. Strangely, Kageyama doesn't feel panicked, as some others are. Instead, there's a tingling feeling, an excitement for new things to come. And it's not all bad - he can still fly; the sky is still his.

 

He doesn't know how the fire started, but it's here now, in all its terrifying, dangerous beauty, burning away and eating at the town where Hinata was born, where Natsu's descendants lived for years upon years. He perches on the branch of a tree with the other crowchildren, who are silent as the dead.

 _It was their home, too,_  he remembers, and he can't help but feel a bit like crying.

Watching the flames lick higher and higher into the sky, auburn heat against his face even this far away, he thinks that if the stars were to burn out, now might be the time.

 

A day after the fire, whole groups of crowchildren disappear, Kageyama's old flock among them. The charred world is empty, black. It's hot, too, the hottest he ever remembers it being. Nobody talks much, and they just fly, circling higher and higher, feathers falling off them like autumn leaves, looking for signs of life until the sky darkens, and they have to light down on a half-burnt tree to rest. They do the same the next day, and the next, and the next, with no results. No one really knows what they're looking for anymore, what they're doing. There's nothing to see but ashes and dirt, a smoky sky, and there's no familiar tug at their chest for work.

 

It happens a week after the fire - they're all flying together, until they aren't.

"Noya!" Kageyama hears Asahi gasp, and he turns to see the small crow plummeting, feathers falling until he's just a ghostly boy again, and he knows that the bright, lively crowchild is never coming back up. Strangely, Noya looks almost peaceful as he falls, hand reaching up towards the sky.

And then Asahi's falling, then Iwaizumi, Shimizu, Narita, Kinoshita, Tanaka - Saeko lets out an anguished cry, diving after her brother and throwing off her scarce plumage. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi moult their feathers in tandem, and fall clutched in an embrace. Kageyama doesn't know if Daichi and Suga, who are behind him, do the same - the sound of Ennoshita's ragged wingbeats are loud in his ear, and he can feel his own feathers begin to fall off. He watches as his friend begins to fall, a sad smile on his face as a last goodbye, sooty plumes floating up around him.

And then it's his turn, his last feather blown away by the wind, and Kageyama feels himself become a boy again, his wings scattering into the sky, beginning to plummet. It's strange - he can't find it in himself to feel scared, even though he doesn't know what waits for him at the end of this fall. Instead, there's an immense relief, a serenity, as the sky whips past him. It's almost like he's finally going home after a long journey, so Kageyama smiles, and closes his eyes.

 

Kageyama wakes up, eyes fluttering open.

He's lying on the warm, fragrant grass of the crowchildren's park, and it smells like summer, sunlight warm against his skin. He's alone, it looks like, the park empty and silent save for the morning breeze. With a slight huff of breath, he sits up and looks around. He isn't sleepy at all - instead, there's a hum of excitement in his veins, but he doesn't really remember what he's excited for.

Getting to his feet, Kageyama begins to walk. His feet are shoeless, and the cool wind feels wonderful against his skin, which -

He brings his hands up to his face. They're bare, featherless, and it takes a second to sink in. Kageyama's heart leaps into his chest, and he begins to walk again, faster this time. Faintly, he can barely hear voices, and he heads toward the sound. Everything's exactly the same as it was before - the sidewalk, the houses - but at the same time, it isn't - it feels like it's _more_ , like it's truer and more real.

" _Tobio!_ "

He turns, half-disbelieving.

"Hitoka?"

And it is, it's Yachi, sweet, loving Yachi, with brightness in her eyes and gold in her hair, and she's running towards him, and before Kageyama knows what he's doing, he's running to her too, and they meet in the middle, caught in a tight embrace. But it doesn't last long, Yachi pulling away quickly, grabbing his hand.

"Come on!" she says, grinning. "He's waiting for you."

She doesn't have to tell Kageyama whom she's talking about, and the two of them run together towards the voices. Yachi leads him, running with a strength and speed she never had in life. The landscape blurs around them, and the sounds get louder, clearer, and Kageyama begins to recognize this route - he's walked it many times, many years ago, to pay a visit to a certain sunset-haired boy.

And then they turn onto the street, and he stops in his tracks. _Everyone_ is there, crammed on the road, the sidewalk, the front yards and porches. The crowchildren, all crowchildren no longer, give a huge cheer when they see him, taken up by the rest - Natsu, along with what looks like her entire clan, Hinata's parents, even Oikawa and Iwaizumi are waiting there. Noya whistles, claps up a storm. Yachi lets go of Kageyama's hand to run to Shimizu's side, and Kageyama has never seen the black-haired girl smile so brightly.

"You're late!" he hears Ennoshita yell above the crowd, leading to a few laughs.

Kageyama doesn't know what to do - what to say, and this time, Yachi shouts.

"What are you waiting for, Tobio?"

And that's all it takes, and Kageyama's running, on the path they've made for him, to the front yard and through the door that leads to the back, while a cheer rises up from the crowd. His heart feels like it's going to beat out of his chest, and his breath comes short and quick, not from exertion, but from excitement. He bursts into the backyard, and -

There Hinata is, standing with his back to Kageyama, facing the sun. Kageyama can imagine the soft little smile that plays at his lips, the way his eyes are closed in bliss, and then the boy turns. 

His smile is the same as ever, unbridled and bright, and the sun in his hair turns it gold. And that's all Kageyama sees, before he's running, reaching out, hands finding Hinata and holding, holding, holding. He feels Hinata's arms around him too, warm and familiar, and all he can think is _finally_ as their lips meet. He doesn't know how long they kiss - seconds, minutes, maybe days, for all he knows.

There's an even louder cheer from outside now, and even a few wolf whistles, but Kageyama can't find it in himself to be embarrassed when they pull apart. There's no place in his heart right now for something as trivial as embarrassment - it's overflowing, with love and joy and gratefulness. Kageyama presses his forehead to Hinata, smiling so much it hurts. The other boy's eyes are shining with tears, tears of happiness, and Kageyama's crying too, because it's been so long, but it doesn't matter anymore, because they're here now, and they're together.

"I missed you," Kageyama murmurs. "I missed you so damn much."

"Me too," Hinata says, voice wavering. His eyes roam Kageyama's face hungrily, almost unbelieving. "You're here. You're here."

"I'm here," says Kageyama. He kisses Hinata again, and slowly, the two of them make their way out of the backyard and onto the street, hand in hand. Someone throws rice at them, and Hinata laughs sweetly, picking up a handful of rice off the ground and flinging it back at an offending Natsu. They make their way down the street like that, laughing and smiling, tears in their eyes, as everyone cheers.

Hinata turns to Kageyama. "Welcome home, Tobio," he says.

"Home," Kageyama murmurs, tasting the word on his tongue. _Home_. He laughs. "Thank you."

Maybe it's like Hinata said before, and this is where their story ends. But with Hinata's hand in his, the laughing voices of his friends ringing in the air, and the sun shining bright in the clear blue sky, it feels more like the beginning than anything, the beginning of the most wonderful tale in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaand, we're done!  
> thank you all for your support, this was my first fanfic ever and i had a lot of fun with it. thanks to all of you who left kudos and commented, you guys make my day! and thank you all for reading! i hope you liked it, if even a little bit. (◕‿◕✿) 
> 
> Also, the lovely ao3 user shoyou made an 8tracks mix for this fic, so give it a listen here: http://8tracks.com/museoftime/crowkids  
> The great broshipaddict made some wonderful art as well:  
> http://broship-addict.tumblr.com/post/123439441057/you-have-to-remember-me-too-cries-forever  
> http://broship-addict.tumblr.com/post/123619653047/if-you-take-the-sixty-stars-next-to-your  
> (i love u both)
> 
> (PS i lowkey ship ennofuta)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and kudos are always appreciated.


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